Girlfriend recently broke up with me, how can I move on?

inna981

My (ex) girlfriend broke up with me last week. We are still very good friends and pretty much nothing has changed only the bf and gf stuff. Which I'm happy about.

She's been really cool about it. She just didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. Not the longest relationship at 5 months but it was my first. One of her best female friends is also out of a relationship which me thinks is related. We were all happy one minute and then the next day I get a phone call. She says she's going through a lot at the moment and just didn't want to keep me stringing along. She's just like she wants to care about herself which I understand.

I still really love the girl, what can I do to push that stuff out and just think of her as a friend. I'm okay for the most part, just gets at me in the morning and feel terrible about it.

I never realised how much I loved the girl and how good it was. In one way I'm like just find another gf and move on (easier said than done) or just stay single like before. In both cases still being friends with her.

What can I do to move on and still have her as a very good friend but leave the bf and gf stuff behind. Don't want to hurt her in any way.

Any advice is appreciated, thanks.

Arrival

You need to forget about being friends with her. How much harder do you think it's going to be for you when she inevitably meets someone else and starts dating them? I know she said she wants to just be single and look after herself but to be honest I've heard that said to so many people when their relationships ended only for them to shortly start seeing someone else so in your situation I wouldn't be surprised if it's bull**** too and just an easy out for her. Maybe sometime down the line when you're fully over her you'll be able to manage being friends but for the time being you'll really need to distance yourself from her and from there it literally just takes time and a bit of effort on your behalf. Start working on yourself, physically and mentally, and keep yourself busy to get your mind off everything. That's all there is to it

Mr. Incognito

She sounds like an immature head wreck.

Block her totally.

Hitman3000

You're not going to move on as long as you try to remain friends. There will always be a part of you that wants what you had. Afraid completely blocking her in my opinion is your only choice at the moment maybe sometime in the future you can be friends again.

inna981

Yeah sounds like the right thing to do unfortunately.

Yeah thats true there Arrival, if she did meet someone that would kill me and it does sound a bit like BS.

Thanks all for your replies

A Fridge too Far

inna981 wrote: »

She's been really cool about it. She just didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone.

Couldn't help but chuckle at this old chestnut. She just didn't want to be in a relationship with you I think you'll soon find out.

retro:electro

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

She sounds like an immature head wreck.

Block her totally.

For wanting to end her relationship? No she does not.
But I would agree with blocking her, solely so the op can move on.

bucketybuck

Words cannot express how bad an idea it is for you to try and stay friends with her.

It's a nice thought and all, very noble, but it will hurt you and hurt you bad in the long run.

Say your goodbyes and move on. Seriously.

y0ssar1an22

inna981 wrote: »

My (ex) girlfriend broke up with me last week. We are still very good friends and pretty much nothing has changed only the bf and gf stuff. Which I'm happy about.

She's been really cool about it. of course, she dumped you She just didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. you Not the longest relationship at 5 months but it was my first. One of her best female friends is also out of a relationship which me thinks is related. We were all happy one minute and then the next day I get a phone call. She says she's going through a lot at the moment and just didn't want to keep me stringing along. She's just like she wants to care about herself which I understand.

I still really love the girl, what can I do to push that stuff out and just think of her as a friend dont do that. I'm okay for the most part, just gets at me in the morning and feel terrible about it.

I never realised how much I loved the girl and how good it was. In one way I'm like just find another gf and move on (easier said than done) or just stay single like before. In both cases still being friends with her.

What can I do to move on and still have her as a very good friend but leave the bf and gf stuff behind. Don't want to hurt her in any way.

Any advice is appreciated, thanks.

man, these 2 things are mutually exclusive. you're thinking by staying friends you'll still have an in with her. not the case. i know you wont listen, no one does, myself included. for the sake of your own mental health/confidence/whatever this will destroy you. follow the advice and block.

look, in the long run better to block and forget. i dont know the logistics of your situation but best course of action is to go no contact. perhaps in time she'll realise she made a mistake, but dont pander to her every need

apologies if this is harsh. est of luck her like this.

Anon10000

Probably best to block her on all social media to move on properly. Take care or yourself

Ursus Horribilis

By the time your ex broke up with you, she had thought a lot about the relationship and where it was going. She had already moved on to a certain extent before she picked up the phone and ended things. Staying "friends" isn't going to affect her because she no longer sees you as boyfriend material. You'd get back with her in a heartbeat and that's where the problem lies. Harsh and all as the advice about cutting contact is, it is the only way you will get over this break-up. You still have feelings for her and they're not going to go away as long as she's a regular part of your life. That's not to say that you can't be her friend in the future. Now is not the time for that. You'll be ready to be her friend again when she meets someone else and you're not hurt by it. If she cares about you at all, she'll respect your decision to cut contact.

tara73

woa, I think guys here are pretty harsh regarding that girl.

I presume you're pretty young as you wrote it's your first relationship and it only went for 5 month. I think regarding this she acted pretty mature. She phoned you to let you know and didn't ghost you or strung you along like you read it in so many other threads here. And this are often people in their forties!!

and to me, it sounds like she wanted to let you down gently in saying she doesn't want a relationship with anybody at the moment and remain friends.

anyway, for sure I agree it's not a good idea to 'stay friends'. It's actually impossible, as you still have feelings for her and she doesn't. so this never works, but again, as I presume you are pretty young, you are in the learning curve of all this things and that's why you've came here to ask.

As you seem to be on such good terms, I think it would be a good idea to just being honest and letting her know that you don't want any contact anymore as it's hurting you and that's why you will block her on social media too. So she knows you doesn't 'hate' her when she sees you blocked or deleted her, it's the opposite, because you still have feelings.

god, in some way we 'pre social media era people' had it easier, me thinks.:)