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When you're on the bog and there is only 1 sheet of loo roll left...

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  • 19-06-2018 1:58am
    #1
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    I'm sure that we have all been in this awkward situation before. You are on the loo, you have done your business, it might have been pretty messy and you reach for the bog roll, and...

    There is - shock horror!! - only one or two flimsy sheets left.:eek::(

    So what do you do AHers? Can you get creative? Improvise?:pac:


Comments

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    #2
    Noveight
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,813 ✭✭✭Noveight


    Hold on.

    You're meant to wipe..?


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    #3
    Stigura
    Registered Users Posts: 3,413 ✭✭✭Stigura


    One more reason to wear a knife ;)


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    #4
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 33,257 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Shower.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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    #5
    JaMarcus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 828 ✭✭✭JaMarcus


    Kitchen Roll.
    Baby Wipes.
    Shower.

    In that order.


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    #6
    TomOnBoard
    Registered Users Posts: 5,109 ✭✭✭TomOnBoard


    Jeez, this place is gone to sh!te entirely!!!


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    #7
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    TomOnBoard wrote: »
    Jeez, this place is gone to sh!te entirely!!!

    It always was...

    ...now where is FlutterInBantam when you need him?:D


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    #8
    gozunda
    Registered Users Posts: 18,996 ✭✭✭✭gozunda


    I'm old school ....

    Sponge on a stick :pac:


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    #9
    DunnoKidz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,587 ✭✭✭DunnoKidz


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    ...So what do you do AHers?

    umljQJs.png


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    #10
    Yer Da sells Avon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,737 ✭✭✭Yer Da sells Avon


    Three seashells, obviously.


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    #11
    TomOnBoard
    Registered Users Posts: 5,109 ✭✭✭TomOnBoard


    gozunda wrote: »
    I'm old school ....

    Sponge on a stick :pac:

    That's only scratchin' the surface!


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    #12
    kweeveen86
    Registered Users Posts: 124 ✭✭kweeveen86


    Sacrificial sock


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    #13
    Old Perry
    Registered Users Posts: 1,511 ✭✭✭Old Perry


    Hold on a sec, what turf you talkin about?


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    #14
    prinzeugen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,891 ✭✭✭prinzeugen


    Kitchen roll. Whan Sheete.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BX6jxduNHyQ

    All you need for one Sheete!


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    #15
    Sam Quentin
    Registered Users Posts: 2,226 ✭✭✭Sam Quentin


    MacGyver....
    Yes that's who I like to model my good self on,..
    So,, what I do is remove the cardboard core and peel it back into it's thin lairs, placing each one gently on my knee until I feel I have enough to render myself 'safe' to go.....


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    #16
    the_syco
    Registered Users Posts: 37,297 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    I'm sure that we have all been in this awkward situation before.
    No. I always check first for toilet roll.

    Do you just sit on the seat, in the hopes that no-one has piddled on it?


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    #17
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    Flush and use the water as a bidet. Wash your hands and bounce.


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    #18
    endacl
    Registered Users Posts: 22,275 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    WirebrushDettol.jpg


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    #19
    wexandproud
    Registered Users Posts: 1,063 ✭✭✭wexandproud


    endacl wrote: »
    WirebrushDettol.jpg
    thats more for the morning after a night in coppers


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    #20
    pfx1942
    Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭pfx1942


    Well, in this situation, you take the single sheet.
    Poke a hole in the middle.
    Stick your finger through the hole.
    Clean your bum with your finger.
    Clean your finger with the sheet.


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    #21
    Mena Mitty
    Registered Users Posts: 5,996 ✭✭✭Mena Mitty


    pfx1942 wrote: »
    Well, in this situation, you take the single sheet.
    Poke a hole in the middle.
    Stick your finger through the hole.
    Clean your bum with your finger.
    Clean your finger with the sheet.


    or you could use the tried and tested, good old fashioned method of the nearby curtain.


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    #22
    Mongfinder General
    Registered Users Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General


    Wipe your arse around the rim of the toilet seat.


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    #23
    doolox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭doolox


    I was once visiting a toilet with two stalls. On entering the first stall I discovered there was no paper so I went to the second stall. There was ample paper there.
    In the middle of my.....ruminations...I heard an urgent clatter of running feet, the door of the first, non papered, stall was hurriedly shut and I could hear some person unknown plant his butt on the seat and there emerged a very prolonged and messy and loud evacuation of excrement obvious to hear.

    Hurriedly I made my exit. possibly to allow the hapless user of the non papered stall some privacy to hobble from his stall to the one with the paper.

    I didn't wait around long enough to identify the victim or pursue the matter further.

    Such things have improved immensely since I was a lad. In the 60's and 70's public toilets and toilets in workplaces were notoriously bad or non existent. Building sites and manual trade workshops were the worst. In rural areas school toilets were also abysmal subject to frequent flooding and vandalism although in those days teachers would think of nothing of knocking on the stalls to hurry dodging pupils to class after a break.


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    #24
    Sponge25
    Registered Users Posts: 365 ✭✭Sponge25


    gozunda wrote: »
    I'm old school ....

    Sponge on a stick :pac:

    Old school, that's fk'n antiquity.


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    #25
    Subcomandante Marcos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,683 ✭✭✭Subcomandante Marcos


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    I'm sure that we have all been in this awkward situation before. You are on the loo, you have done your business, it might have been pretty messy and you reach for the bog roll, and...

    There is - shock horror!! - only one or two flimsy sheets left.:eek::(

    So what do you do AHers? Can you get creative? Improvise?:pac:

    I use a bidet. I'd clean my bunghole like normal and then use the one sheet to dry off my tushy.


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