Dating and living arrangements

LegacyUser

Hi folks,

Not as big a deal as most posts around here but something I'd love to hear opinions on.

im 32, female, relatively recently single and living in the big smoke (London). Since breaking up with himself im back renting/sharing accommodation and suddenly really embarrassed about it, particularly as i consider getting back out on the dating scene again.

i only share with one person and she's very nice, but here all the time and i guess there's a sense that it's not really my home - particularly when i think of date nights, inviting people around etc. There's not the freedom there that I'd like. i previously lived with a partner for about 4 years so got used to having a "home".

the immediate goal is to buy my own place and i'm about 50k into saving for the deposit (main reason why im sharing), but obviously it being London means it's a bit of a pipe dream at the moment, and one im not sure id commit to given that my long-term plans are in flux (don't see myself here long-term)

So for now, I'm single, thinking about dating and just find the thoughts of the "where do you live?" and "do you live alone?" questions are giving me anxiety before i even start. i feel im too old to be sharing at this rate, but what can ya do.

Has anyone else ever felt this way and is it a THING that people think about when they're on the dating scene?

Arrival

If someone is so unreasonable that they won't do such a basic thing as consider the factors that resulted in your current living arrangements do you honestly think they're the type of person you want to be with?

SONIC2008

You have saved a substantial amount of money, and to be honest I think what you are doing should be admired. You’re not living at home sponging off your parents, but in a couple of years you’ll have your own home and you’ll be very proud of that.

I agree with the previous poster. Anyone who is shallow enough to judge you negatively on your current living circumstances is not someone you should invite into your life.

Get out there and enjoy life, you’ve nothing to be ashamed of. Hopefully when you do invite someone over, your housemate might give you some space now and then.

Big Bag of Chips

Would you judge somebody if they lived in a houseshare?
It's just not something that would ever occur to me to be problem, so I'd never think it would be a problem for others.

Sounds like you're projecting your own feelings on to these hypothetical, future fellas that you haven't even met yet!

Relax... Things will work out in time.

Ursus Horribilis

If it's any encouragement to you, my cousin met her now husband when she was living in a house-share in London. She was around your age when she met him and obviously, that didn't put him off. London rents are mental and I'm sure there are many many 30somethings house sharing out of necessity.

Permabear

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Pelvis

OP, it's not even close to being an issue.

sashafierce

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Dixie Chick

I felt similar when I was single and house sharing too so I get where you are coming from. But "date nights" can be in the other persons house if they have their own place. And if not, then they are probably in the same position as you !

Rachiee

Rents are mad in London I imagine most people in their early 30s are in houseshares. I certainly dont know a single person under 50 living on their own in Dublin unless they were lucky enough to get support from a housing charity.

ginandtonicsky

I can't think of any lad that would have a problem with that, esp in London where its pretty standard to share unless you're in a relationship or on a particularly high wage where you can afford to live alone without it making a serious dent in your salary. not much use paying most of your salary on renting your own place when you're trying to get on the property ladder anyway, it'll just add years to the whole process.

50k saved means youre obviously copped on and working towards your own home, i cant imagine it will take much longer either. just stay focused on saving your ass off so it can be sooner rather than later and don't sweat about your dating life - no-one worth while will bat an eyelid sure it's really common!

TerrorFirmer

If anything you sound like you're well above average in terms of where you are and what you have stashed away at present. Most single people in their 30's live in shared accomodation, it's completely and utterly normal. As opposed to what incidentally - you don't think most single people that age live in their own apartments or homes? Even in Ireland they don't, let alone in London.

You're honestly fine, as someone else said I think you're simply projecting your own insecurities. It's not something I'd think about at all.