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There's been a murder outside my gaff

  • 17-06-2018 5:53am
    #1
    Jim Bob Scratcher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,231 ✭✭✭


    A murder of crows that is, will the ****ers every shut the hell up? I'm trying to get some shut eye here....


Comments

  • #2
    TheValeyard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,059 ✭✭✭✭TheValeyard


    They plan to peck your eyes out once you leave the house.

    All eyes on Kursk. Slava Ukraini.



  • #3
    Jim Bob Scratcher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,231 ✭✭✭Jim Bob Scratcher


    Murray TheDemonic TalkingSkull wrote: »
    They plan to peck your eyes out once you leave the house.

    Sound's like a Hitchcock film.


  • #4
    umop episdn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 603 ✭✭✭umop episdn


    They heard you do early morning readings of the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe


  • #5
    TheValeyard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,059 ✭✭✭✭TheValeyard


    Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »
    Sound's like a Hitchcock film.

    Yeah..... I think it was called 'The Crows who pecked out Jim Bob Scratchers eyes and then ate his testicles'

    All eyes on Kursk. Slava Ukraini.



  • #6
    TomOnBoard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,122 ✭✭✭TomOnBoard


    Murray TheDemonic TalkingSkull wrote: »
    Yeah..... I think it was called 'The Crows who pecked out Jim Bob Scratchers eyes and then ate his testicles'

    No, I think it was called "The Crows who ate Jim Bob Scratchers testicles then pecked out his eyes after they forced him to watch them eating his testicles". It was a particularly sadistic Murrrrderrrr...


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  • #7
    Patser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,238 ✭✭✭Patser


    Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »
    A murder of crows that is, will the ****ers every shut the hell up?

    Nevermore


  • #8
    Kolido
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,875 ✭✭✭✭Kolido


    I love the sound of a crow down the chimney when they are sat on the roof.


  • #9
    Jim Bob Scratcher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,231 ✭✭✭Jim Bob Scratcher


    Murray TheDemonic TalkingSkull wrote: »
    Yeah..... I think it was called 'The Crows who pecked out Jim Bob Scratchers eyes and then ate his testicles'
    TomOnBoard wrote: »
    No, I think it was called "The Crows who ate Jim Bob Scratchers testicles then pecked out his eyes after they forced him to watch them eating his testicles". It was a particularly sadistic Murrrrderrrr...

    Yet I'm still alive to tell the tale.


  • #10
    TomOnBoard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,122 ✭✭✭TomOnBoard


    Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »
    Yet I'm still alive to tell the tale.

    Just barely!

    Blind with two huge big gaping holes in your face, claw marks all over yer head, a mouth full of crow faeces and a squeaky voice is no way to live...

    Not to mention having to use "Blind Squeaky sh!t- tasting Jim Bob Nothing Left to Scratch" as a username would be the last straw...


  • #11
    Conservatory
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,194 ✭✭✭Conservatory


    Stone the crows


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  • #12
    Jim Bob Scratcher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,231 ✭✭✭Jim Bob Scratcher


    Conservatory wrote: »
    Stone the crows

    I'm thinking about getting out the shotgun.


  • #13
    testicles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,198 ✭✭✭testicles


    This post has been deleted.


  • #14
    TomOnBoard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,122 ✭✭✭TomOnBoard


    testicles wrote: »
    Jim Bob doesn't own me!

    Not any more he doesnt'! I'm not sure why youre even here... You're close to being crow sh!te..


  • #15
    Graces7
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    OP it was nearly 7 am.. time to be UP!


  • #16
    TheValeyard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,059 ✭✭✭✭TheValeyard


    testicles wrote: »
    Jim Bob doesn't own me!

    Life as a testicle must be hard. You're never too far from a dick or asshole.

    All eyes on Kursk. Slava Ukraini.



  • #17
    HeidiHeidi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,048 ✭✭✭✭HeidiHeidi


    They must be related to the seagulls that scream blue murder from 5.30am every morning from the chimney pot across the road from me :mad:


    All. Summer. Long. :mad::mad:


  • #18
    blinding
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,466 ✭✭✭blinding


    Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »
    A murder of crows that is, will the ****ers every shut the hell up? I'm trying to get some shut eye here....
    They are warning you not to fall asleep.....or else :eek:

    Nice of them to warn you really .


  • #19
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,285 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    What do you call a crow orgy...

    A sexy murder


  • #20
    SeaFields
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,551 ✭✭✭SeaFields


    Here you go OP

    https://touch.boards.ie/forum/466

    Thank me later.


  • #21
    ArchXStanton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,912 ✭✭✭ArchXStanton


    Could be worse...could be seagulls..noisy Bastids


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  • #22
    Hector Bellend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,667 ✭✭✭Hector Bellend


    Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »
    A murder of crows that is, will the ****ers every shut the hell up? I'm trying to get some shut eye here....

    I think we're hungover aren't we?


  • #23
    Peatys
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,881 ✭✭✭Peatys


    TomOnBoard wrote: »
    Murrrrderrrr...

    Murder was the case that they gave me


  • #24
    pleas advice
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,492 ✭✭✭pleas advice


    there's been a murder
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dynAAX0hYQo


  • #25
    pleas advice
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,492 ✭✭✭pleas advice


    What do you call two crows?
    attempted murder


  • #26
    blinding
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,466 ✭✭✭blinding


    The Crows will never forget that you have grassed them up on the Internet .

    Thats they way they roll / fly .

    The Crow ; Smarter than Bertie and better looking .


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