When does the excitement start?

Uptheduff

I'm only 5 weeks so far but rather that excitement my predominant feeling is being anxious. I'm scared the responsibility and obligations of parenthood will make life less enjoyable. I'm worried I'll get post partum depression or have a traumatic birth experience.

I'm hoping excitement and optimism will kick in at some stage soon. For those who were not always sure they wanted kids, when does that usually happen?

jelly&icecream

Uptheduff wrote: »

I'm only 5 weeks so far but rather that excitement my predominant feeling is being anxious. I'm scared the responsibility and obligations of parenthood will make life less enjoyable. I'm worried I'll get post partum depression or have a traumatic birth experience.

I'm hoping excitement and optimism will kick in at some stage soon. For those who were not always sure they wanted kids, when does that usually happen?

I think what your feeling is more normal than you think. I had a bit more optimism after getting a private scan at about 8 weeks where everything looked ok but the worry still lingered til after the anomaly scan at 20ish weeks. Even after that I was never one of those glowy, excited pregnant ladies. It all felt a bit abstract till after I had the baby in my arms tbh. I was always pretty sure I wanted kids and the pregnancy was planned and I had no history of depression or anything.

I'm 30 weeks with my second now and I was more optimistic about the pregnancy proceeding well than with the first but still don't get the rush of excitement many other women seems to get. No idea why tbh but I'm more assured that's it's normal for me this time.

Peppery

I feel very similar to be honest. I’m a little bit excited but more nervous and worried. I’m worried about everything that could go wrong so I’m getting tests to try to put my mind at ease.
I’m terrified of how my body will change, what birth will be like. I haven’t really got as far as being worried about being a parent yet!
I think it’s natural to feel worried especially if it’s the first. Funny thing is I’ve always wanted to have children and when we decided to go for it we were excited but since then reality has hit and I don’t feel anywhere near as excited as the rest of my family seem to be! I suppose you need to think about how the worries are affecting you - maybe talking to someone would help work through it? But you’re not alone.

catrionanic

I’m 22 weeks on my second and I wouldn’t say I’ve ever felt particularly excited on either pregnancy!

I mean after the initial excitement of a positive pregnancy test, things usually turned more pragmatic and I worried about practicalities and everything I needed to do and get organised, whether the pregnancy would be okay, when the sickness and other symptoms would go, and I also worried about PPD (which thankfully didn’t happen).

It’s all very normal. You’re only 5 weeks so you’ve only known a few days so don’t be too hard on yourself. You have a looooooooong time to adjust to this and get your head around it! It’s also really hard to imagine that baby inside you because it’s kind of an abstract concept until you have him or her in your arms (although the scans will help with that).

It sounds to me like you’re overthinkining things and doubting yourself. Everything will work out, and at the end of it all you will have this wonderful little person in your life who is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. So try to relax a little and trust the process. You’ll get there.

cowlove

With my first, even though he was planned I remember crying to my mum and wondering had I done the right thing. Then he was born and I thought "what have I done?". He is nearly three now and I promise you its the best thing in the world. Yes it is tough but it's worth it. Just remember this is a huge thing. And your hormones are flying around.

If you find things overwhelming talk to someone.

shesty

Have had three, worried through them all
an early bleed on the first (and all subsequent) basically made me totally anxious all throughout.I also told myself it would be ok, but there was always underlying worry.The difference was that on my first I had far more time to dwell on it than the other two.It's all part of the process I think.You will probably have some relief after scans etc,but as someone said, I wasn't happy until the baby was in my arms.

Gatica

OP, I imagine everyone feels anxious to a certain degree at the start of their parenthood journey. As you said, it's all great to be excited to get a positive test, but then all the practicalities of pregnancy, birthing and then being responsible for another human being hit. I also was quite ambivalent about having children, at one point in my life I thought I wouldn't want any at all. However, with my OH we decided we did want to have kids together and it thankfully has turned out great.

The worry about the pregnancy and birth never goes away, but you gotta focus on the positives. You cannot change the outcome of anything by worrying about it, in fact it will only impact on your and the baby's health if you stress too much. Try to go with the flow, do a relaxing exercise, like yoga, focus on what you'd like to get out of your pregancy and birth. Listen to meditation going to sleep, I found it a great way to de-stress and get to sleep without all those pesky thoughts spinning around my head.

If you find the whole thing overwhelming and you don't think you can get a handle on it, talk to someone, or your GP, I'm sure there are support groups there for pregnant women suffering from depression, or even just needed a bit of support getting through the hormonal stages.

The birth part flies, so whether it's amazing or imperfect, the staff do everything to help with pain-relief, so it really isn't so bad. I had an episiotomy and although prior to the birth, I thought that would be one of my worse outcomes (baby being ok), it really wasn't so bad, I didn't feel a thing, and I had regular pain relief in the hospital and on discharge. It was a discomfort to sit for a couple of weeks but it was all manageable. Things often sound much worse than your body is able to handle, so trust yourself and your body to be able to get through it.

The realisity of having a baby didn't hit til we were home and she was sleeping in my arms. It's a tiring jouney and it's tough, no kidding, but it also is unbelievably satisfying and rewarding. Their happiness makes your happiness. I didn't feel an overwhelming love for her right away, a need to protect her, but that was about it. The bond developed though and she's the most important person in my life now and I love her to bits. I look forward to seeing her every day. Don't worry, mother nature instincts do kick in eventually, if you're not feeling it yet

lazygal

Had no huge excitement on any pregnancy until the first trimester was out of the way as I felt so crap. I'm on my third pregnancy and I haven't been excited because of complications, more relieved once various tests came back clear and scans didn't show anything. I think it's perfectly normal not to enjoy pregnancy, it's a means to an end for me.

Uptheduff

Thanks everyone, its reassuring I'm not the only one who isn't bouncing off the walls. I think the fact we havn't told anyone yet, and don't plan to for ages is making it feel a bit unreal.

miss_shadow

this is my third and i'm more nervous about this pregnancy than my first two. I'm not sure if its because I know more about complications or because im older I feel the aches and pains more but this is the healthiest pregnancy so far.

Betsie_xr3i

Baby no 4 here and I only ever start getting excited around 24 weeks x

shesty

I think I was most nervous on my third.I think it's because you are way more aware of all the things that could go wrong.Even.if you have no signs of any problems.