Back Crack and Sack Bus - Who's in?

damianch

Having come across some lads on this site, I reckon we can set something big up here.

Back Crack & Sack €150.00

You and 5 mates will be picked up in a luxury bus.

Please just wear short shorts and a small top. And bring your own dressing gown.

For the first 40 "Men" we will throw in a free mani-pedi and and unbridge of the eyebrows

Message us now

Great for Stags

banie01

damianch wrote: »

Having come across some lads on this site, I reckon we can set something big up here.

No harm at all in coming across lads if that's what floats your boat...
I prefer to come across ladies tho

punisher5112

Gay much???

Who wears short shorts.....

Reminds me of the Simpsons to be honest.

Who gets a bus anyway.

damianch

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Sounds like a gay date rape pick up attempt.

WE are selling out!!! Don't miss this opportunity

punisher5112

damianch wrote: »

WE are selling out!!! Don't miss this opportunity

I just spat out my tea

damianch

punisher5112 wrote: »

I just spat out my tea

We use tea oils as much as we can...

Our testimonials are all about it : Barry says- " Eh yes thats grand tea" So Barry's tea is wonderful, and sure we all knew that

punisher5112

damianch wrote: »

We use tea oils as much as we can...

Our testimonials are all about it : Barry says- " Eh yes thats grand tea" So Barry's tea is wonderful, and sure we all knew that

Come on tell us more of this gay ould time.

punisher5112

I thought selling yourself on boards was illegal....

Put that away you.

damianch

punisher5112 wrote: »

I thought selling yourself on boards was illegal....

Put that away you.

We are now gone Double Decker! Bring the Uncle

damianch

punisher5112 wrote: »

Come on tell us more of this gay ould time.

Do you ever wonder why your granny hated the Lyon's ?? Barry was your only man.

We will be acknowledging Barry's birthday later this morning... Stand by for some SPOT prizes

dan1895

Make sure someone doesn't key your bus.

damianch

dan1895 wrote: »

Make sure someone doesn't key your bus.

You are just jealous that we might leave you off the bus... Come on .. bring the key... We will sort that

punisher5112

Caution..... Unexpected item in the bagging area. I mean luggage area.

damianch

punisher5112 wrote: »

Caution..... Unexpected item in the bagging area. I mean luggage area.

We don't discrimante about heavy luggage. We ain't Ryanair

damianch

Lads, we need to apologise . Something a lot of people cannot admit. We made a mistake ( Something that is a fate worse that death on Boards) . But we really apologise about what you really wanted. A bit of a laugh without the pedantic humour killer cops.

But sure what can we do...

With all the bookings Im going to have to have my man hoop and my testy le Clays waxed 9 times.

Viva La Revolution Palestine forever!

Danny Donut

punisher5112 wrote: »

Gay much???

Who wears short shorts.....

Reminds me of the Simpsons to be honest.

Who gets a bus anyway.

Bus ****

damianch

Danny Donut wrote: »

Bus ****

All over that !

bnt

Danny Donut wrote: »

Bus waxers

Fixed that for you. Me, not a chance. They'd have to raid churches for candles for the amount of wax it would take ... :eek:

somefeen

Do you also offer Scrotox©?

marley1

"We use tea oils as much as we can...

Our testimonials are all about it : Barry says- " Eh yes thats grand tea" So Barry's tea is wonderful, and sure we all knew that"

Is this code for TeaBagging

punisher5112

marley1 wrote: »

"We use tea oils as much as we can...

Our testimonials are all about it : Barry says- " Eh yes thats grand tea" So Barry's tea is wonderful, and sure we all knew that"

Is this code for TeaBagging

You said testimonials :-)

I’ve lived on this earth for over forty years and in all that time, not once have I ever looked at my ball bag and thought “hmm, I might smear hot wax all over that, stick strips of paper to it and rip them off”.

I presume I am not alone in this.

sbsquarepants

somefeen wrote: »

Do you also offer Scrotox©?

Wrinkly sack getting you down, causing you stress?

Ask your doctor about scrotox (now covered on the medical card):D

Bob Harris

Is this you OP?

Your Face

Humour is a tough gig.

Brendan Bendar

Have to say that in this humid weather the lad has a point.

Getting tired of having my crotch band feeling like the handle of a suitcase.

Did a ‘clear out’ around the bagging areea courtesy of a clippers and Gillette g2 and once the rash had died down felt a new found freshness around the sacking and gunwales weren’t awash with bag soup for a few days.

However, once the re growth started it was horrible and this is why it might be good to get the area cleared professionally.

Would not recommend diy solutions.

Now back to full thicket but sacking is still quite ‘angry ‘and prone to break out which sometimes means going commando with the odd ‘salve’ of a hankie left in the fridge.

Dangerous area to interfere with.

Maz2016

What have I just read

B0jangles

Just don't use Immac.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R231U4ZG0YDNHD

lawred2

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Have to say that in this humid weather the lad has a point.

Getting tired of having my crotch band feeling like the handle of a suitcase.

Did a ‘clear out’ around the bagging areea courtesy of a clippers and Gillette g2 and once the rash had died down felt a new found freshness around the sacking and gunwales weren’t awash with bag soup for a few days.

However, once the re growth started it was horrible and this is why it might be good to get the area cleared professionally.

Would not recommend diy solutions.

Now back to full thicket but sacking is still quite ‘angry ‘and prone to break out which sometimes means going commando with the odd ‘salve’ of a hankie left in the fridge.

Dangerous area to interfere with.

Probably easier to just have a wash

damianch

Bob Harris wrote: »

Is this you OP?

Oh you shouldn't fear new people. I know you and your lil buddies hate newbies, but chill.. You can still be a form based website super nintendao phenomena long after I have got bored and started watching googlebox or something

Don't be so scared

damianch

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Have to say that in this humid weather the lad has a point.

Getting tired of having my crotch band feeling like the handle of a suitcase.

Did a ‘clear out’ around the bagging areea courtesy of a clippers and Gillette g2 and once the rash had died down felt a new found freshness around the sacking and gunwales weren’t awash with bag soup for a few days.

However, once the re growth started it was horrible and this is why it might be good to get the area cleared professionally.

Would not recommend diy solutions.

Now back to full thicket but sacking is still quite ‘angry ‘and prone to break out which sometimes means going commando with the odd ‘salve’ of a hankie left in the fridge.

Dangerous area to interfere with.

Bulk trim for the sweaty months electric , lil smooth off via bath

TheValeyard

Does the OP have a method for dealing with extended testicles?

Brendan Bendar

lawred2 wrote: »

Probably easier to just have a wash

Yes, you are quite correct there, but I felt the situation needed more drastic action and it was an experiment.

Tried all sorts of ‘remedies’ like hammocking the nutpurse in a damp hankie from the fridge.
Tried the ‘rough towel ‘ treatment, the wet wipes , the hanging the nads into a bowl of cold tea and lodging the cold teabags in the ‘gunwales’.

All that did was stain the sack into a dark ochre colour and give the knob the appearance of a King Edward Cigar.

So back to washing and treat that area with respect.

punisher5112

Still the heading sounds like an orgy of some serious level.

Pintman Paddy Losty

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Yes, you are quite correct there, but I felt the situation needed more drastic action and it was an experiment.

Tried all sorts of ‘remedies’ like hammocking the nutpurse in a damp hankie from the fridge.
Tried the ‘rough towel ‘ treatment, the wet wipes , the hanging the nads into a bowl of cold tea and lodging the cold teabags in the ‘gunwales’.

All that did was stain the sack into a dark ochre colour and give the knob the appearance of a King Edward Cigar.

So back to washing and treat that area with respect.

Were you under the influence when you decided that was a good course of action Brendan? Very strange behaviour.

_Kaiser_

Maz2016 wrote: »

What have I just read

Was just thinking that myself..

Also "luxury bus" - like a standard coach then?

Is this just a bizarre AH thread, or is this what modern/young guys do now??

Brendan Bendar

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Were you under the influence when you decided that was a good course of action Brendan? Very strange behaviour.

Agree Paddy,but the cluster was swimming in sack soup and I was anxious to alleviate the situation.Was developing an angry ‘bloom’ and severe ‘wine glow’ which threatened to spread to the wand, so had to try something.
Apparently there was a ‘yeast’ build up or something.
Even considered a hoop bleach to clean up the area but in truth,Paddy, nothing touches good hygiene and maybe a dab of Caldescene powder.

Will not be going down that road again,Paddy.just a rub of tea oil around the root of the wand to keep the ‘shine’ up is the max I’ll do.

No problems since.

Pintman Paddy Losty

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Agree Paddy,but the cluster was swimming in sack soup and I was anxious to alleviate the situation.Was developing an angry ‘bloom’ and severe ‘wine glow’ which threatened to spread to the wand, so had to try something.
Apparently there was a ‘yeast’ build up or something.
Even considered a hoop bleach to clean up the area but in truth,Paddy, nothing touches good hygiene and maybe a dab of Caldescene powder.

Will not be going down that road again,Paddy.just a rub of tea oil around the root of the wand to keep the ‘shine’ up is the max I’ll do.

No problems since.

Fair enough brendan. Fair enough. If the bloom was threatening to emigrate to the shaft then best take drastic actions to control things. Especially in your case with such a small wand. Don't want what little you have getting covered in red prickly rash.


A wire brush with dettol followed by a rigorous scrubbing normally clears any kind of bell bloom.

punisher5112

I'm out

riffmongous

punisher5112 wrote: »

I'm out

I guess the event will lose some of it's appeal without The Punisher taking part anymore :P

AMKC

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Yes, you are quite correct there, but I felt the situation needed more drastic action and it was an experiment.

Tried all sorts of ‘remedies’ like hammocking the nutpurse in a damp hankie from the fridge.
Tried the ‘rough towel ‘ treatment, the wet wipes , the hanging the nads into a bowl of cold tea and lodging the cold teabags in the ‘gunwales’.

All that did was stain the sack into a dark ochre colour and give the knob the appearance of a King Edward Cigar.

So back to washing and treat that area with respect.

If you want to shave it is best to first exfoliate the area that you are going to shave first. This gets rid of all the dead skin cells. The next thing is you shave then moisturise after that. It's also best to get into a routine and shave at least every second day or every day if you can. The more you do it the quicker your body gets used to it and the rashes get less and less.
Nothing like the feeling of nice smooth skin. I can not stand hairs yuk.

JohnnyFlash

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Agree Paddy,but the cluster was swimming in sack soup and I was anxious to alleviate the situation.Was developing an angry ‘bloom’ and severe ‘wine glow’ which threatened to spread to the wand, so had to try something.
Apparently there was a ‘yeast’ build up or something.
Even considered a hoop bleach to clean up the area but in truth,Paddy, nothing touches good hygiene and maybe a dab of Caldescene powder.

Will not be going down that road again,Paddy.just a rub of tea oil around the root of the wand to keep the ‘shine’ up is the max I’ll do.

No problems since.

Are you skimping on your investment in undergarments, Brendan? There's few things more tragic that seeing a man in his dotage rooting around in the 'final offers' bin in Penny's looking for a '6 pack' of 42" briefs.

greencap

A tub of rubbing alcohol, and a lighter.

If you can take the 2 seconds of pure terror you can skip the pain.

Brendan Bendar

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Are you skimping on your investment in undergarments, Brendan? There's few things more tragic that seeing a man in his dotage rooting around in the 'final offers' bin in Penny's looking for a '6 pack' of 42" briefs.

Johnny, I’m afraid you may be right there.
Purchased a slab of briefs from Dunnes,didn’t take too much heed of the makeup.

Anyway, when I slid the fcukers on,I knew I had made a mistake.

Very lycra like,keyhole notch to slip out the wand,and very ‘hot’ and rubbery around the hoop area.

That should have been a message Jon,but I persisted and I found wearing the items drew a good flow of gruel from the crack area and felt plasticky and non absorbent around the cluster area.

Point is the fcukers were made of cheap non absorbent material and won’t be caught in that situation again.

Pure cotten jocks, good ‘wodging’ of the cluster in the shower, cut the nails and work the fingers into the gunwales,shift the yeast,and Pope Francis himself wouldn’t have as presentable a bowl of fruit.

Just my opinion.

Gael23

No more dangleberries is a big advantage