Anxiety threatening to ruin me

LegacyUser

RIght here goes. Sorry in advance. Bear with me

Mid thirties guy with secure job, don't earn enough to get a mortgage, so I live with piggish housemates including one fullblown alcoholic who I despise. Moved following breakup outined below.

My job is ok and I try to exercise regularly. I have cut down on the booze and the caffeine.

I have always struggled with anxiety.

I have been to CBT and counselling in the past but now I am considering going down the medication route.

I have always been resistant to this but I feel I could do with it now to take the edge off and make me functional. I have recently met a new girl, several years after going through a breakup where my ex left me for a guy she was always into. I dont want to bollocks up this new relationship. she is very supportive but sometimes I feel her patience wears thin and I wouldnt blame her. She texts and calls less now and I am trying not to read too much into that.

So I don't want my anxiety to ruin my new relationship but I also want to be mentally Ok enough to survive it not working out.

I am looking into moving house but this is hard.

So do I go to my Doctor and tell him I want to go on meds - does he refer me or how does it work?

How long before I start to feel halfway better? I know meds arent a magic bullet.

Thanks guys.

Mr. Incognito

Go to your doctor and see what he or she prescribes.

Meds are a short term crutch not a magic pill and you should also look at Counselling or other coping mechanisms

Airyfairy12

Medication can take weeks or months to kick in, in the mean time the side effects can range from mild to sever. It can also take a bit of time to find the right medication for you as different meds work differently for people.
Ive chronic anxiety myself. My anxiety used to be really bad, nearly everyday my stomach in knots and constantly worrying/panicking/over thinking - CBT didnt work for me either.
Im just wondering if youve tried changing your life style? Are you eating well? I know if I dont eat healthy/only eat processed food or dont eat regularly enough my anxiety gets out of control. I also found B complex stress release vitamins and fish oils to help and Melissa dream sleep tablets too.. theyre herbal sleeping tablets, theyre useless for sleep so I dont take them for that but half a tablet or sometimes a full one takes the edge off on an average day.
Are you exercising every week? stick in your headphones, throw on a pod cast or some music and go for a run if you can - not a quick fix by any means but its one small thing you can do for yourself that makes a small bit of difference.
Do your own research on anxiety. Counselling never helped me, talking about the anxiety or childhood problems only caused me to have more anxiety. Understanding anxiety, where it comes from in the body, why its there, how it effects the body and behavior was much more effective for me, it made me realise that negative behaviors I had no control over, that where increasing my anxiety, where a direct result of the anxiety, this self awareness stopped the viscous cycle and the negative behaviors stopped which resulted in improved anxiety. Sounds mad buts its crazy how the mind works.
Medication would be a last resort imo but if you feel like you need it then try it out for sure but its not a quick fix.

cookie24

also mid thirties male, and can relate to everything you've said.

still dont know where i am. have avoided, so far, any sort of presentation in work, but it holds you back - sweat in meetings and all the rest of it - its truly awful. also tried cbt but it was too expensive. was prescribed numerous magic bullets....xanax, lithium, valium, emcor, about 10 others. for me the only ones that worked were valium and xanax. unfortunately ther're not something you want cos massively addictive. i even tried to buy them online from foreign country and on the black market here in ireland.

alcohol has become a crutch for me. ruined my last relationship. too anxious to meet without 'settling the nerves'. one of the most debilitating things out there is anxiety.

i have a feeling anxiety is like a weird glass house. you just to smash through it and it'll be gone. ive never had the balls to do that though so purely speculation.

i tried mindfulness and other similar programs, all to no avail. its ****ty, and i have no recommendations. i think alot it stems from a lack of confidence - in my case anyway - so anything to improve confidence....public speaking course, toastmasters, etc, may help.

i sincerely wish you well.

ETA: another thing i think it may stem from. i'm no psychologist so bear with me. people with anxiety, and i include myself, are massively self centered/narcissistic. dont know if they're the right words. basically my time is spent wondering what others think of me. truth is, but still cant resolve it in my mind, people dont give a **** about you. they dont care you're blushing, sweating, being anxious. they're equally self centered and worrying about themselves. its odd - i go to a meeting with a 'lesser' client and i'm fine. send me to one with someone of equal knowledge and i freak out - immediately on the defensive over my work. if they ask me a question, can i answer it? having an 'i dont a **** attitude' attitude helps, but not for long i reckon.

i've tries, it helps somewhat. develop that attitude. i dont care, therefore nothing to be anxious about. it may help, but dont take the piss

TomOnBoard

First step which will have an immediate effect is to dump the alcohol completely by weaning off it. Stay away from the Xanax/ Valiums if you can at all. Obviously if you're in bad shape with the anxiety, you may need to use them, but in the long term they hurt your system. Give the CBT another chance, but one really needs to work at it. Try and speak to your GP about it. And discuss whether you need to attend with a psychiatrist before starting on an SSRI med like sertraline. But if you do, it won't be immediate and will have side effects. However, if the CBT and/or other talk therapies don't work for you, it may help after a month or so.

Wish you well and know that it does get better.

cookie24

what i wrote about 3.5 years ago. i got complacent. didnt work. try your darnedest to sort it

I'm hoping for a happy next 2 weeks. Start work, get stuck in, turn my life around. For some reason that was easier to type than I think the reality will be.
Once I have no panic attacks/unable to communicate in front of everyone/unable to write in front of people it should be fine

Remaining positive though. This is my chance to change how my life will pan out for the next 30+ years. All I need is that one bit of courage to overcome what lays ahead.

I kinda compare it to simultaneous equations. It took me ages to understand but when it clicked it was as easy as pie. I am hoping my anxiety will 'click' and then it can be a distant memory.

Hope everyone else is good on this cold Friday evening

Creol1

CemeteryGates wrote: »

So do I go to my Doctor and tell him I want to go on meds - does he refer me or how does it work?

How long before I start to feel halfway better? I know meds arent a magic bullet.

Thanks guys.

Basically yes. Not how I would open the encounter, but present with your symptoms and the doctor will probably broach the subject of medication himself when he talks about treatment.

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

Medication can take weeks or months to kick in, in the mean time the side effects can range from mild to sever. It can also take a bit of time to find the right medication for you as different meds work differently for people.

The main medications for anxiety are SSRIs and benzodiazepines and serious side effects are unusual. SSRIs can take a long time to work, if they ever work, but benzos kick in instantly. However, there is a lot of stigma and misinformation around benzos and most GPs are resistant to prescribing them.

Airyfairy12

Creol1 wrote: »

Basically yes. Not how I would open the encounter, but present with your symptoms and the doctor will probably broach the subject of medication himself when he talks about treatment.



The main medications for anxiety are SSRIs and benzodiazepines and serious side effects are unusual. SSRIs can take a long time to work, if they ever work, but benzos kick in instantly. However, there is a lot of stigma and misinformation around benzos and most GPs are resistant to prescribing them.

Have you ever been on SSRIs? I have, it wasn't a fun experience.
Different people react to meds differently, if they work for you thats great, delighted for you but id really suggest the op try all the alternatives first, gradually add them into your routine, stick with it for about a month and see how you feel.

No doctor is going to prescribe you Benzo's theyre rarely prescribed to anyone besides terminally ill patients and old people not to mention theyre highly addictive.

Creol1

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

Have you ever been on SSRIs? I have, it wasn't a fun experience.
Different people react to meds differently, if they work for you thats great, delighted for you but id really suggest the op try all the alternatives first, gradually add them into your routine, stick with it for about a month and see how you feel.

No doctor is going to prescribe you Benzo's theyre rarely prescribed to anyone besides terminally ill patients and old people not to mention theyre highly addictive.

The OP has already said he has tried alternatives and has now decided he wants to try medication. He is not asking whether he should try medication.