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Men of boards: how are you?

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  • 03-06-2018 11:10pm
    #1
    ginandtonicsky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 710 ✭✭✭


    I've had some enlightening conversations with some male colleagues over the past few months about their mental health. Separately, a few different fellas have opened up to me and told me about their struggles with depression, anxiety and panic attacks. All very confident, competent and outwardly laddish types, the types I wouldn't have suspected (not that you ever can, mind you)

    It reflects a pattern I've noticed with a few ex-partners of mine too, who all had this internal darkness in common. My last partner had pretty significant depressive episodes, which he often binge-drank to cope with. A real chicken-and-egg scenario with the booze and the depression.

    I'd suppose the fact that I'd tend to be a sympathetic ear in general and have been through my own wars might make me a good candidate to open up to about these things. But it got me thinking about how common mental health struggles are among men - I mean the statistics around suicide alone in this country are pretty grim. It also got me thinking about what support networks if any do lads out there have to deal with these things? For me, talking has been integral. Leaning on mates, opening up to family members. A few of these guys told me they tend to find themselves seldomly opening up, and it's usually with women rather than men - it's not exactly down-the-pub fodder, not really something you talk about with the lads.

    What about you? Have you suffered with depression, anxiety or mental health problems? Have you sought help, or found a way of dealing with it? Who do you talk to?


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    #2
    jaxxx
    Registered Users Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    Depression: Yup. Sought help: Yes. Did it work? Nope. Methods tried: A->Z. Dealt with it other ways: No. Talk to: Myself. Talked to someone in the past: Yes. Did it work? Nope. Conclusion: F-ed.

    Some people just wanna watch the world burn, while some others just wanna watch themselves burn....

    Oh geez that's a good philosophical saying actually (the latter part which I shall be trademarking!). Actually, that's kinda how I deal with it. Posting silly stuff so as to make an eejit of myself in front of people, with part or whole fragments of truth :)


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    #3
    verycool
    Closed Accounts Posts: 965 ✭✭✭verycool


    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056481009


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    #4
    ginandtonicsky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 710 ✭✭✭ginandtonicsky


    jaxxx wrote: »
    Depression: Yup. Sought help: Yes. Did it work? Nope. Methods tried: A->Z. Dealt with it other ways: No. Talk to: Myself. Talked to someone in the past: Yes. Did it work? Nope. Conclusion: F-ed.

    Some people just wanna watch the world burn, while some others just wanna watch themselves burn....

    Oh geez that's a good philosophical saying actually (the latter part which I shall be trademarking!). Actually, that's kinda how I deal with it. Posting silly stuff so as to make an eejit of myself in front of people, with part or whole fragments of truth :)

    Who did you talk to? Professional or family member/friend?

    What's helped for me is in knowing, jesus maybe I'm not going mad.Someone else / a lot of other people feel like this! I feel like my conversations with female friends would always tend towards the emotional side of things, how we're feeling, what we're going through, how we're dealing with work / relationships / breakups / family situations etc. Whereas with lads it's more about subjects, news, things etc.


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    #5
    Pac1Man
    Registered Users Posts: 4,394 ✭✭✭Pac1Man


    I prefer dealing with stuff by not talking to anyone. There will come a time when those people will not be there so dealing with it myself now will allow me to deal with it in the future too.

    Possilbly terrible logic!


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    #6
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,277 ✭✭✭Your Face


    What's the OPs angle here?


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    #7
    Stigura
    Registered Users Posts: 3,413 ✭✭✭Stigura


    Just a suggestion :)


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    #8
    endacl
    Registered Users Posts: 22,241 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Conservatory wrote: »
    Sometimes I think all kids should be sat down and told that their daddies are human just like they are.
    Can be really important for both kids and daddies if daddy is the one to sit them down and tell them this.


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    #9
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I've been on Lexapro for almost two years and could not imagine coming off it ever. Massively reduces my anxiety. My quality of life is far higher. I can deal with everything in my stride. I didn't realise how much of an issue it was because I never knew any different. Also exercise and mediation helps enormously.


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