Babe, hun, dear, darling..

Lori2018

Just curious what’s peoples opinion on a man using words like babe, hun, dear, darling.. an a woman he doesn’t personally know, like a bus drivers for instance?

Cupcake_Crisis

U ok hun?

If it's someone like a bus driver and they sound like they do it with anyone, be grand

Tell me how

For the most part, the same as a woman using, "love", "my dear", "honey" such as a woman working in a shop might do.

I do think some words cross the line like, for instance, the man using "babe" or the woman using "stud". I think those are more commonly associated with flirting and while I wouldn't say should never ever be used (because flirting has a place) but not so much.

Roger Hassenforder

Lori2018 wrote: »

Just curious what’s peoples opinion on a man using words like babe, hun, dear, darling.. an a woman he doesn’t personally know, like a bus drivers for instance?

Why just a man using such terms?


Personaly i wouldnt, "babe" and "hun" is tacky, as is when a man says "thanks kid", but when an elderly person calls me "dear" for giving her a hand with something, i dont get offended.
Context and tone is key.

Darkglasses

I've never understood how Chicken caught on so much as a fond name.

Graces7

In Yorkshire it is "petal" and "flower"

As a senior lady, I do object when folk call me a "good girl" .

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

If he calls me hun I know he’s not listening

everlast75

Holden Icy Bed wrote: »

If he calls me hun I know he’s not listening

Or being racist..

Roger Hassenforder

Holden Icy Bed wrote: »

If he calls me hun I know he’s not listening

He's probably not listening anyway!

DickSwiveller

They are terms of endearment. If people are bothered by them, they need to get a life.

Mr.Crinklewood

As if they'd allow women drive buses

rockatansky

Lori2018 wrote: »

Just curious what’s peoples opinion on a man using words like babe, hun, dear, darling.. an a woman he doesn’t personally know, like a bus drivers for instance?

For women I know I don't see a problem with this.

For women I don't know or have just met for the first time I keep it mannerly, so usually sugartits.

Shenshen

Really depends on context. I've no problem with it if it's the bus driver, or a shop assistant or similar. In a short, every-day kind of exchange.

If the situation is a bit more complex, if I'm trying to lodge a complaint, for example, I'd find it somewhat inappropriate. It would come across as rather patronising.

I realise that that's just my personal opinion, and I can see that this is something where consensus will be pretty impossible.
However, as I only experienced being addressed in such a way when I came to live in Ireland (nobody would do that in Germany), I'm kind of fond of this "tradition". I'd hate to see it disappear altogether.

Malayalam

I get called 'pet' a lot in shops, on buses, etc. Quite often 'darling', not infrequently 'love', the odd time 'dear'. 'Hun' is kind of a south-eastern thing and to be expected there. It'd be a sad day if I started bristling at nice strangers using terms of endearment towards me. It's not my nature to be so easily familiar and warm towards others with spoken terms, but I do look people in the eye and acknowledge their humanity.

threetrees

It's not what's said but how it's said. I don't like babe or hun but if it's said in terms of thanks or with a general gratuitous tone then it's ok.

In Moore Street everyone is "love". I don't think it's much different.

The Bishop Basher

In Glasgow it’s “hen” which is a phrase I always liked when I hear it used.

All terms of endearment.

Context is everything of course but I’d hate to see these things die out

We’re becoming so clinical.

Oops69

Lori2018 wrote: »

Just curious what’s peoples opinion on a man using words like babe, hun, dear, darling.. an a woman he doesn’t personally know, like a bus drivers for instance?

let's just remove all character from our city/ buses , like in London , where people get into buses and the driver is just ignored as if he's a machine , i want the lady in Marks and Spencers to call me love / pet , whatever .

DickSwiveller

The kind of person who has a problem with these terms.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzqHeaHgtdw

Wibbs

Following from stuff on the I bet you didn't know that thread hereabouts, oddly enough back in the 1960's on the Apollo moon missions the astronauts called each other "babe" regularly. Seemed to be a thing back then, in certain quarters anyway. And these were middle aged blokes with military and engineering backgrounds a generation older than the "hippie" youth of the time. I had an oul dig around on the interwebs and the only clue I could find was apparently it was a Southern US male term of endearment for another man, usually a young lad. Makes sense as many of the astronauts were from that neck of the woods.

Cupcake_Crisis

It’s harmless imo. I picked up the habit in work, now every second person I encounter is ‘love’ or ‘pet’. My niece is chicky. Only ever gets called her actual name when she’s being a sh!t.

DickSwiveller

My best friends mam is from Ballyfermot and she always called us 'chicken' when we were growing up. These small things make the world a nicer place to live in. Please don't let the permanently offended brigade ruin it.

Autosport

I'm banjaxed so as I call everyone "Hun"

Lori2018

DickSwiveller wrote: »

They are terms of endearment. If people are bothered by them, they need to get a life.

That’s what I was thinking.. but can’t help but feel a little uncomfortable when a random person uses them towards me (even more so if it was a girl), I think it’s just because I associate them more with my family if anything, if you get me..

Cleopatra_

You can call me fcukface if you like. Just don't call me sweetheart. I find it massively patronising but that's because I was seeing this older guy who was an absolute arse and he always called me sweetheart in a way that made me seem like a moron.

liquoriceall

I don't mind if my friends do it but when I'm at work and someone calls me love it just makes me bristle!

DickSwiveller

Lori2018 wrote: »

That’s what I was thinking.. but can’t help but feel a little uncomfortable when a random person uses them towards me (even more so if it was a girl), I think it’s just because I associate them more with my family if anything, if you get me..

I have no problem with a random person using them, and actually like it. I was in Newcastle last year and the waitresses kept referring to me and my friends as "pet". It's a nice thing.

Tell me how

Lori2018 wrote:

That’s what I was thinking.. but can’t help but feel a little uncomfortable when a random person uses them towards me (even more so if it was a girl), I think it’s just because I associate them more with my family if anything, if you get me..

90% communication is non verbal, it's their body language, tone, and the type of interaction you'd generally expect in such a circumstance which influences how exactly you feel about someone when they say it.

There's none of these types of words which wouldn't be annoying if it was used in the wrong way.

Tell me how

Cleopatra_ wrote:

You can call me fcukface if you like. Just don't call me sweetheart. I find it massively patronising but that's because I was seeing this older guy who was an absolute arse and he always called me sweetheart in a way that made me seem like a moron.

I went out with a girl who didn't want me to call her "honey", "babe", "my love". She told me the words specifically. It was because of an ex who used to call her those but ultimately broke her heart.

I did feel that she was dismissive of any desire I might have to use such affectionate words in that way.

DickSwiveller

Tell me how wrote: »

90% communication is non verbal, it's their body language, tone, and the type of interaction you'd generally expect in such a circumstance which influences how exactly you feel about someone when they say it.

There's none of these types of words which wouldn't be annoying if it was used in the wrong way.

That's fair enough. If someone uses these terms in a patronizing or aggressive manner then it's a different story. There was a story a while ago where a female presenter on Talksport was talking to someone who had rung the station and he kept calling her 'babe', but in a patronising way. People said she was being overly sensitive but I thought she was right to complain because he was being a dick.That is out of order; but I think 99 per cent of the time people are just being nice.

MarkY91

Lori2018 wrote: »

Just curious what’s peoples opinion on a man using words like babe, hun, dear, darling.. an a woman he doesn’t personally know, like a bus drivers for instance?

It's women I do hear using the word hun to strangers. Don't think I ever heard a man say it.

Cleopatra_

Tell me how wrote: »

I went out with a girl who didn't want me to call her "honey", "babe", "my love". She told me the words specifically. It was because of an ex who used to call her those but ultimately broke her heart.

I did feel that she was dismissive of any desire I might have to use such affectionate words in that way.

I understand that it could be used in a different way by someone else but when I hear a man say it in a certain way it makes me shudder, it's a reaction I can't help.

I love when someone calls me babe though, I have a weakness for it somehow.

Tell me how

DickSwiveller wrote:

That's fair enough. If someone uses these terms in a patronizing or aggressive manner then it's a different story. There was a story a while ago where a female presenter on Talksport was talking to someone who had rung the station and he kept calling her 'babe', but in a patronising way. People said she was being overly sensitive but I thought she was right to complain because he was being a dick.That is out of order; but I think 99 per cent of the time people are just being nice.

Yeah he was being condescending.

Teyla Emmagan

I hate 'hun' with a passion.

FFred

Tom Mann Centuria

Woman I work with calls everyone hun, men and women, they're all hun. So it's really no big deal.

PandaPoo

There's a customer that comes in every day and she calls me her gorgeous friend. I think it's so sweet. Another gentleman comes in and calls me darling. If someone my age called me pet I'd probably laugh at them.

I started calling my husband (boyfriend at the time) Chicky because he really hated any kind of lovey dovey names. Now he calls me Chicky all the time!! It stuck even our 2 year old corrects him when he calls me Emma...she says not Emma that's Chicky. Nightmare

Autosport

Tom Mann Centuria wrote: »

Woman I work with calls everyone hun, men and women, they're all hun. So it's really no big deal.

Sounds like me .