Relationship second chance good or bad?

allblack

Hey peeps,
I've been broken up with my ex around 6 month's. However we've seen each other out a handful of times and each time everyone says still something there with us. I agree.
We stay in contact every so often. We finished for different reasons, however I'll admit I was one afraid of change not her. Although last few months and seeing her made me realise 1. I miss her alot and 2. I'm seeing bigger picture now. (Surprise,suprise!)
I want open up but afraid she thinks just phase and not real thing plus a red card.
What do people think, good or bad idea? My thinking is,if don't ask I'll never know.

WIZWEB

Depends on how big the issues were on either side that caused the breakup. Also if they can be resolved or will they be reignited again. Ultimately she may have moved on emotionally and no longer see you in a romantic context. You said it yourself that she didn't fear change. Which in this case she may have evolved from coupledom. However there's only one way of finding out so ask away maybe somewhere neutral though over a coffee or drink. Great if you can resolve things. But beware also that you may not get the response you desire.

Big Bag of Chips

What other people think is irrelevant. She may no longer be interested in a relationship with you. No harm in asking, but just because others tell you they think you should get back together, doesn't mean she feels the same.

allblack

I agree on all the above. We had met up for a chat (previous to this) and said we had feelings but needed clear our heads. However it's only made me want it more.
I'm going to ask and if we do, definitely thru coffee. At least I'll have peace of mind knowing I asked. That's my feeling.

heretothere

Ask her, nothing to lose. Unless it was a really bad break up and more based on circumstances at the time it might work again. But she's the only one who can tell you that

bucketybuck

Before you try and figure out if she wants to give it another go, I would really recommend figuring out for definite if you want to give it another go.

I would say its common enough for people who left a relationship to feel remorse 4/5 months down the line. You forget the grind of the relationship and only remember the good things, you're over the worst of the post-breakup stresses and are getting reflective, and worse again you have sporadic contact with her which reminds you of the good times without touching any of the bad.

I think in general giving failed relationships another go is a futile idea, in my experience it rarely if ever works. Maybe this would be different but to be honest it doesn't sound like it. Sounds more like you are just having a few second thoughts, like its doubt about your decision rather than a burning desire to reclaim a lost love.

I would say to take a long hard think about the reasons you split up in the first place, and if those reasons haven't changed then don't let a vague sense of "we are good together" steer you towards a decision you might regret.

allblack

So we spoke and she's thinking about it. I didn't want an answer immediately. Her heart says yes but her head says no. (Her words). I was upfront and very honest. So she has think more about it which I respect.
Too be honest,glad I said it, as now I can say least I tried than regretted.
Thanks again for everyone input. Much appreciated.