GOT PHONE CALL FROM EX GIRLFRIEND- NOW PREGNANT

Jimbob77

Need people's advice.
Met a woman 81/2 months ago. She's 34.I'm 38. Very rocky relationship. Two break ups in that period, one for a month and another for two weeks. I have issues, culminating in a suicide attempt 6 weeks ago, i ended up sleeping rough in my car for three days at the time. She calls me to come back from the cliffs, saying this is the last chance. When back she says the next day:"i want to try for a baby in a couple of weeks". I replied "we'll discuss that in a few days", as obviously i have other things on my mind and a baby is something the needs a serious discussion.. She replies:"we don't need to discuss it". No more was said.
Two weeks later she deliberately got pregnant. I only find out that she is pregnant when she calls me a month later. I had left three days after the conception, not knowing or thinking anything about a pregnancy.
Advice needed.
What do people think of this woman deliberately setting out to get pregnant just 2 weeks after my suicide attempt? Is it normal? Or concerning? Or how would you describe it?

December2012

I think that you should talk this out with a mental health professional who is helping you after your suicide attempt. If you aren't in treatment you should seek treatment.

I don't want to dismiss you, but I feel that you're vulnerable and need safe space to process this.

duffman13

First of all you should contact the smaratians or Pieta house, pregnancy aside you need to try and have a conversation with someone who can help.

As regards the pregnancy, that's bizarre, this woman knew you weren't in the right frame of mind for that conversation or having a child. It takes two to Tango but id be very concious of trusting anything this woman says based on the behaviour you described. Was she doing ovulation sticks etc? It's not a simple task getting pregnant when you choose.

Tbh she seems like she's desperate for a baby based on your description of events. Thread very carefully

GingerLily

Have you posted about this before? I'm sure I've read at least two threads that are extremely similar.

LolaJJ

Well, in answer to your question - It is not normal behaviour for a woman to deliberately get herself pregnant without agreement.

Even in a solid long term relationship (this doesn't sound like either of those things) the right thing is for both people to discuss.

I think you know this.

You obviously have issues of your own that you need to deal with, she has shown her true colours in that she's put her own agenda ahead of what possibly would have been the right or fair thing to do.

Without knowing any further info it's hard to make any assumptions on where you go from here but get yourself some help. It sounds like life is getting on top of you and talking to a friend or professional might really help you. At this time you need to put your own sanity first

Martina1991

I don't understand how she "deliberately" got pregnant without your knowledge.

Unless she lied about contraception that is.

osarusan

First of all, try to get help for yourself so that you are not heading to the cliffs again in the future. That should be the main priority here.

The woman herself is behaving very oddly too - did she somehow see a pregnancy as a kind of solution to your issues or something? To answer your question - it certainly isn't normal in my eyes.

Faith

Is this a different ex girlfriend from the one you posted about before, where you asked for advice about an odd comment she made about wanting to get pregnant, and then a month later you told us that all took place in 2016 and she was already pregnant at that time?!

Or is this the second woman to get pregnant by you in similar circumstances?

ASISEEIT

You need help. This is priority number one. I would get a close family member or friend to communicate with the woman. If her story is true then a paternity test will be needed but child or no child -you will be no use dead. Do not communicate with her directly. Go through a friend

Big Bag of Chips

Jimbob77,

I'm locking this thread as I don't believe you are being fully honest with the posters here. It is unfair to ask people to take time to advise you if you are not fully honest.

You need help with your mental health, and I suggest you make contact with at least one of the organisations in this list.

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