Invited to ex’s party, don’t want to attend.

LegacyUser

Bit of a dilemma here.

I’m a 20 year old man, for about three months or so last year I went out with a girl that I really liked before she absolutely broke my heart. She apologized properly about two months later, and while it did clear the air I’d be lying if I said I still didn’t hold a slight grudge over it.

I’ve been invited to a joint 21st between my ex and her best friend who I happened to be very friendly with before I ever met the ex, and so this is where my dilemma starts.

I really don’t want to attend. I felt uncomfortable being in the same nightclub as my ex some months ago and don’t want to think about what it would be like in a private function. What’s more, it has gone from me being able to choose between whether I want to go or not, to me being pressured into attending by a mutual friend of myself and the other girl turning 21 due to the fact that some of her friends from college won’t be able to attend, and so she needs as many friends as she can get it seems.

It’s not that I absolutely hate my ex, it’s just that I’d rather draw a line under that whole thing and move on with no communication. I just don’t want to be in the same room while she is one half of the center of attention, I think that watching that would probably just annoy/upset/enrage me and I don’t want to do that to myself

Is it selfish of me to not want to attend?
If ye’ve any questions or if I’ve not been clear enough then I’ll clarify if need be, thanks.

allybhoy

Dont go.. simple. Its not a big deal...

rainbowtrout

MrCheese100 wrote: »

to me being pressured into attending by a mutual friend of myself and the other girl turning 21 due to the fact that some of her friends from college won’t be able to attend, and so she needs as many friends as she can get it seems.

If her other friends aren't attending that's not your problem. If you don't want to go, don't go. No point going if you're not going to enjoy it.

Everyone frets that nobody will show up at their party. Come 10:30, that’s all forgotten about.

Take your friend for a drink or lunch some other time but don’t feel pressured into going.

Mr. Incognito

Make up some other engagement- take your friend out for a meal the week of in advance instead and ignore your ex if thats what your headspeace requires

scarepanda

Don't go if you don't want to, but don't just not show up either. Send the other girl a message saying that you have something else on and that you can't make it.

Rubberchikken

Dont go.
Best for now to put some distance between you. In time youll chalk all this up to experience.

LegacyUser

I know it’s not a big deal, I’d my mind made up until lately when the mutual friend said how much she’d appreciate it and would be in-debt to me for it.
Just wanted to see if I wasn’t being super selfish and I’m glad to see people agree with me, cheers lads.