I hate the ice cream van man

NinetyTwoTeam

this bollix is driving me mad, he has the loudest bell ive ever heard and it's totally out of tune. he is patrolling my estate and the others nearby non stop at all hours, late into the evening. and while he's been at it full time lately, he is often going around in the dead of winter too.

we have a shop in the estate that sells all the same stuff, ive never even seen him be stopped for a sale. any advice on how to stop this roaming noise pollutor without resorting to violence or property destruction?

and i don't wanna hear, 'he has to earn a living', people who earn their living at night are having their rest disturbed, people have babies sleeping, etc.

it wouldn't be so bad if it was a nice tune, it's just a grating noise that sounds like something Pennywise would use to torture his victims, and so loud you would think he's in your kitchen when he's actually in the next estate over.

I'm thinking find out where he lives and continually drive by his home blasting black metal. I don't own a car but I am thinking of buying one for this purpose. also then i dont have to walk to the shop to buy ice cream.

SCOOP 64

Why don't you go and give out to him, he will soon change his tune.

verycool

Now you leave black metal out of this!

NinetyTwoTeam

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

I'm thinking find out where he lives and continually drive by his home blasting black metal. I don't own a car but I am thinking of buying one for this purpose. also then i dont have to walk to the shop to buy ice cream.

He presumably wouldn't be there if he is out all hours...

colm_mcm

I don’t get how they’re allowed to make such noise when conducting business, if I was selling burgers and played loud music in housing estates, I surely wouldn’t be allowed continue?

Herpes Free Since03

Call the Gardai and tell them there's a man in a white van approaching kids....

PowerToWait

Who was it used to tell their kids the van only played music when it was out of ice cream?


They are annoying. Going around here all during those cold snaps.

jester77

Close your windows to keep the sound out

hatrickpatrick

You should engage in some cone-ing just to f*ck with his head

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WygNjMSllLQ

colm_mcm

PowerToWait wrote: »

Who was it used to tell their kids the van only played music when it was out of ice cream?


They are annoying. Going around here all during those cold snaps.

Ray Darcy used to say it years ago.

SEPT 23 1989

Do you burst the ball if it's kicked over your wall as well?

Pauliedragon

Walk towards him with a Yes or No flyer in you're hand. That gets me running the other way pretty quick.

Samuel T. Cogley

colm_mcm wrote: »

I don’t get how they’re allowed to make such noise when conducting business, if I was selling burgers and played loud music in housing estates, I surely wouldn’t be allowed continue?

Are you *THAT* Colm?

BrokenArrows

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

this bollix is driving me mad, he has the loudest bell ive ever heard and it's totally out of tune. he is patrolling my estate and the others nearby non stop at all hours, late into the evening. and while he's been at it full time lately, he is often going around in the dead of winter too.

we have a shop in the estate that sells all the same stuff, ive never even seen him be stopped for a sale. any advice on how to stop this roaming noise pollutor without resorting to violence or property destruction?

and i don't wanna hear, 'he has to earn a living', people who earn their living at night are having their rest disturbed, people have babies sleeping, etc.

it wouldn't be so bad if it was a nice tune, it's just a grating noise that sounds like something Pennywise would use to torture his victims, and so loud you would think he's in your kitchen when he's actually in the next estate over.

I'm thinking find out where he lives and continually drive by his home blasting black metal. I don't own a car but I am thinking of buying one for this purpose. also then i dont have to walk to the shop to buy ice cream.

Have you considered asking him to turn the volume down?

VainHard Bendix

Out of tune music is icecream van code for we sell drugs also.

Samuel T. Cogley

VainHard Bendix wrote: »

Out of tune music is icecream van code for we sell drugs also.

We have three of the little blighters going around my place. Do you think they really are? They out in the dead of winter, although to be fair they get a lot of custom.

Come to think of it only one of them is around at the moment. Wonder if anyone has been done recently and is a guest of the state?

Reckon they'd be any good if they're local like?

NeonCookies

Just moved to a new estate. There's usually loads of young kids playing on the green, out on bikes etc, so obviously need to be careful driving in and out. Yet the ice cream van man with his blaring music FLIES past our house at least once a day?! Flies straight back out again too so obviously no takers.

whisky_galore

NeonCookies wrote: »

Just moved to a new estate. There's usually loads of young kids playing on the green, out on bikes etc, so obviously need to be careful driving in and out. Yet the ice cream van man with his blaring music FLIES past our house at least once a day?! Flies straight back out again too so obviously no takers.

Maybe it's the ice cream van that doesn't sell ice cream?:cool:

ouxbbkqtswdfaw

Get the taxman after him!

NinetyTwoTeam

jester77 wrote: »

Close your windows to keep the sound out

my bedroom is on the third floor at the back of the house and it's clear as day, no windows open.

Samuel T. Cogley

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

my bedroom is on the third floor at the back of the house and it's clear as day, no windows open.

Get better windows.

Why do people in Kerry have double glazing?
So the kids can't hear the Ice Cream van.

Budum tish.

afkasurfjunkie

Well our guy is mad. Actually a raving lunatic. Last time I dared go get an ice cream he tried to persuade me he was just back from playing at that Manchester concert they had after the terrorist attack. Told me he he was back stage and served Katy Perry. His ice cream was mank too.

Bob Harris

NeonCookies wrote: »

Just moved to a new estate. There's usually loads of young kids playing on the green, out on bikes etc, so obviously need to be careful driving in and out. Yet the ice cream van man with his blaring music FLIES past our house at least once a day?! Flies straight back out again too so obviously no takers.

It wouldn't be an ambulance by any chance?

NinetyTwoTeam

VainHard Bendix wrote: »

Out of tune music is icecream van code for we sell drugs also.

Even when I'm really stoned it's an impossible tune to enjoy, and in that state I can listen to Revolution No. 9 all the way through no bother.

Fr_Dougal

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

this bollix is driving me mad, he has the loudest bell ive ever heard and it's totally out of tune. he is patrolling my estate and the others nearby non stop at all hours, late into the evening. and while he's been at it full time lately, he is often going around in the dead of winter too.

we have a shop in the estate that sells all the same stuff, ive never even seen him be stopped for a sale. any advice on how to stop this roaming noise pollutor without resorting to violence or property destruction?

and i don't wanna hear, 'he has to earn a living', people who earn their living at night are having their rest disturbed, people have babies sleeping, etc.

it wouldn't be so bad if it was a nice tune, it's just a grating noise that sounds like something Pennywise would use to torture his victims, and so loud you would think he's in your kitchen when he's actually in the next estate over.

I'm thinking find out where he lives and continually drive by his home blasting black metal. I don't own a car but I am thinking of buying one for this purpose. also then i dont have to walk to the shop to buy ice cream.

+7million

They should be outlawed

Uncharted

Next time he arrives,approach the window and,calm as you like,furiously spray week old p1ss and sh1t all over the interior of his van.


#Gamechanger.

mikeym

The poor man has a wife and 8 kids to feed

Speedsie

The Ice Cream Man
https://youtu.be/EKGcdzgg8aw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKGcdzgg8aw

Uncharted

mikeym wrote: »

The poor man has a wife and 8 kids to feed

Give 'em icecream

Esel

afkasurfjunkie wrote: »

Well our guy is mad. Actually a raving lunatic. Last time I dared go get an ice cream he tried to persuade me he was just back from playing at that Manchester concert they had after the terrorist attack. Told me he he was back stage and served Katy Perry. His ice cream was mank too.

Definitely a drug dealer so.

freshpopcorn

When I was at secondary school I did after school study the odd time. The ice-cream mans be great for waking me up at 17:50 to pack my bag to go home!

blinding

afkasurfjunkie wrote: »

Well our guy is mad. Actually a raving lunatic. Last time I dared go get an ice cream he tried to persuade me he was just back from playing at that Manchester concert they had after the terrorist attack. Told me he he was back stage and served Katy Perry. His ice cream was mank too.

So his Ice cream was from Manchester !

afkasurfjunkie

Esel wrote: »

Definitely a drug dealer so.

Might’ve sampled his own product by the sound of him.

Capt'n Midnight

Be careful OP

Six people were killed during the Glasow Ice Cream Wars. For real.

blinding

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Be careful OP

Six people were killed during the Glasow Ice Cream Wars. For real.

At least it was something worth dying for .:eek:

Do you want Blood with that ?

mea_k

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

Get better windows.

Why do people in Kerry have double glazing?
So the kids can't hear the Ice Cream van.

Budum tish.

Hands down best joke i heard all week 😎

ayux4rj6zql2ph

This post has been deleted.

Textronic

How come they're the only ones driving round with the sirens blaring?

VainHard Bendix

If you are going to score drugs just keep in mind that if they are
not dealers they are 100% certain to be cops posing as ice cream van
to do surveillance and you will go to jail for the rest of your life.

James 007

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Be careful OP

Six people were killed during the Glasow Ice Cream Wars. For real.

That's the problem when people try to defend themselves with magnums.

kfallon

Would love a 99 now!!

Herpes Free Since03

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

Get better windows.

Why do people in Kerry have double glazing?
So the kids can't hear the Ice Cream van.

Budum tish.

Ice cream van never came to my street...I actually felt gutted as a child ....we didn't have double glazing either

bodhrandude

A Glaswegian sketch, but funny enough.

Capt'n Midnight

They're Justified, and they're Ancient,
And they drive an ice cream van.

NinetyTwoTeam

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Be careful OP

Six people were killed during the Glasow Ice Cream Wars. For real.

just looked that up, had never heard of it. wild.

if he was selling drugs I'd be fine with that. But I doubt it. The neighborhood children seem too sober and fat for that to be the case.

to be clear, i have nothing against the sale of ice cream. i enjoy walking to the shop where a childless 30-something can order a child's 99 no questions asked (it's that generous a portion i cannot imagine how there could be an adult size without it tipping over)

ive been hoping he would drive by while I'm walking home happily consuming a 99 from the shop and that it would make him sad but he seems to only go by when I'm napping or watching TV or talking on the phone.

but recent posts have given me an idea. i could buy a heap of drugs, then when he comes round, buy an ice cream and say, hey i love these, i could eat them all day. then when he comes back a half hour later, go back to buy another one and ask him does he have a bin to throw away the wrapper from the old one.

BUT, unbeknownst to him, the wrapper has an illicit substance hidden inside. do this a bunch of times, then ring the cops and say there's a drug dealer going round in an ice cream van who keeps his stash in ice cream wrappers in his bin.

however, if i had the money to do it, or a large amount of drugs, presumably I'd be a happier more content person and not someone who devotes an inordinate amount of time to conceiving convoluted plots to destroy the lives of ice cream vendors.

anyway, i have to go to bed now so i can get to the voting booth early in the morning. I'm voting YES obviously. Less children = less ice cream vans.

jpfahy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjIDrWn0DQ4

blinding

Would the Gardaí be more popular if they sold good quality Ice cream ?

VainHard Bendix

blinding wrote: »

Would the Gardaí be more popular if they sold good quality Ice cream ?

It would be very efficient for them to add ice cream to their core business.
They already have in every locality the buildings, the motor fleet and the staff.
The only real expense would be the product itself. And some refrigerators.

Huge synergy.

Discounts on ice creams for those who rat out their friends. Report on a crime and you get 50c off a 99. Sign a confession and you get a box of Loop the Loops.

blinding

VainHard Bendix wrote: »

It would be very efficient for them to add ice cream to their core business.
They already have in every locality the buildings, the motor fleet and the staff.
The only real expense would be the product itself. And some refrigerators.

Huge synergy.

Discounts on ice creams for those who rat out their friends. Report on a crime and you get 50c off a 99. Sign a confession and you get a box of Loop the Loops.

Sounds like a Plan and When the Fuzz say Freeze it can mean more than on thing .

somefeen

There was one around here with the Benny hill tune playing but it was about twice the tempo. I was hearing it all day imagining this ice cream van chasing kids around a housing estate.

I came across it later stuck in traffic moving very slowly but had the fecking music still playing. I found it more hilarious than any right thinking human being should and nearly fell over laughing on the foot path.
I had been awake more than 48 hours though.