Finding things to do when your off work

thetimeisnow

I'm a single man in my late 30s, I work shift with 4 on 4 off schedule. All my friends have settled down so I find the days off to be a real bore as I have no one to do stuff with. Watching DVDs and playing the PS4 has gotten very boring. Would appreciate some advise, Its a tough thing to make friends in Ireland especially as you get older.

evolving_doors

Golf!

Or learn an instrument with a flexible teacher , some do rotating days if they have slots.rock Band instrument teachers are straightforward and easy enough to find.
Brass instruments are good for socialising if there's a group near ya. You gotta practice though

Benicetomonty

evolving_doors wrote: »

Golf!

Or learn an instrument with a flexible teacher , some do rotating days if they have slots.rock Band instrument teachers are straightforward and easy enough to find.
Brass instruments are good for socialising if there's a group near ya. You gotta practice though

Second for golf. Youll never have nothing to do ever again once you get bitten by it. It takes ages as well so the days will fly by!

omerin

yeah, take up golf if you have given up on life :pac:

thetimeisnow

Looking for ideas for more of a social outlet

Solomon Pleasant

Hi OP,

I think you need something to give you some focus and direction in your life.

1) You could try working out. Try setting the goal of becoming fitter than you've ever been in your life.

2) Learn a foreign language. Use it to meet new people, go travelling to the country where the language is spoken.

3) You could try starting a side hustle. Make extra money and even better if it's something you enjoy!

Best of luck OP and don't bother with the golf.

tayto lover

What about volunteering for a few hourw a week to teach adults to read and write. Very rewarding and worthwhile. Your local ETB will train you as will NALA.

https://www.nala.ie/support-us/volunteer-as-a-tutor

thetimeisnow

Thanks for the responses so far. Ive actually been going to gym and whilst Golf would take up my time with the gym im looking to develop a more social type of situation

Conservatory

Join a soccer team. The over 35 leagues used to end up in boozing sessions after every game.

zoe 3619

Would a men's shed be suitable?

Conservatory

zoe 3619 wrote: »

Would a men's shed be suitable?

I have two sheds and there wouldn’t be much socializing going on in either of them.

In seriousness I think they are an older age group and run during the day for the retired.

batistuta9

thetimeisnow wrote: »

Thanks for the responses so far. Ive actually been going to gym and whilst Golf would take up my time with the gym im looking to develop a more social type of situation

Multiplayer on the ps4

Book club, acting classes, dancing etc.

going away for a few days, touristy places or whatever & you'll meet people

kerryjack

You could come down here for a week and look after my 4 kids you would never complain about having some free time again

Conservatory

kerryjack wrote: »

You could come down here for a week and look after my 4 kids you would never complain about having some free time again

You might want to upgrade the old vetting process there bud.

khaldrogo

brazilian jiu jitsu.......

fallen01angel

What kind of interests do you have,there's loads of meet up groups for loads of different things,a quick Google will point you in the right direction.
I'm a bit older than you,similar work and friend situation, took up surfing last year,absolutely terrible at it, but you get to meet lots of nice friendly people, plus it's great fun exercise as well as the perfect way to clear your head space.

Purple Mountain

You need an OH

WhatsGoingOn2

Join a cycling club. Clubs go on regular cycles and cater for all abilities. There is always a coffee stop to give you the chance to talk to people. Some clubs organise nights out and trips to Spain or France.

Run in your local park run on a Saturday morning. Volunteer at it and help organise.

OldMrBrennan83

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thetimeisnow

fallen01angel wrote: »

What kind of interests do you have,there's loads of meet up groups for loads of different things,a quick Google will point you in the right direction.
I'm a bit older than you,similar work and friend situation, took up surfing last year,absolutely terrible at it, but you get to meet lots of nice friendly people, plus it's great fun exercise as well as the perfect way to clear your head space.

Meet up looks good in Dublin and Cork alright but not where I live. Do you think there would be any objection to me doing events in those areas if I don't live there? Cork is my home from home as that's where the parents live

milli milli

Patww79 wrote: »

I've been in the same boat for years, I just come home and watch telly and sleep til it's work time again. Only for going grocery shopping with the Mrs I'd probably never leave the house. There's no point in telling you to do something if you're not interested in it though. What are you interested in?

That’s no way to live Pat. Sorry for poking my nose in and it’s probably none of my business, but so many people seem to do this - sleepwalk through life.
Look if you’re happy, then fair enough, but I get this ‘ah whatever’ vibe from people.
There are tons of things to do. You are never too old or unskilled to take up virtually any hobby or skill. If you’re working then you probably have the cash so that’s not an issue either.
Think of all the things you’d like to do, no matter how seemingly ‘outlandish’ - skydiving, parachuting, novelwriting or just normal things like horse riding, drama, collecting things, dancing, football, learn an instrument, a language, volunteering, juggling; whatever floats your boat.

Ok I’ll shut up now. I just hate to see a life wasted. Especially when we’re lucky enough to live now and in this part of the world. One quote that might strike a nerve is this:

Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried til they’re 75.

fallen01angel

thetimeisnow wrote: »

Meet up looks good in Dublin and Cork alright but not where I live. Do you think there would be any objection to me doing events in those areas if I don't live there? Cork is my home from home as that's where the parents live

I can't imagine there'd be any issue with that at all,depending on the group activities that you're interested in. Best of luck to you

OldMrBrennan83

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aaakev

Iv a few hobbies, i go gym every morning before work. I do a bit of off road driving, dirt biking and hunting/shooting. The shooting is a great one for meeting people and its very social especially if you join a target shooting club. (Many people like shooting but dont fancy hunting)

I hunt more so than shoot targets so am not a member of a club but nearly all my shooting friends have come about from boards and another forum and many have been my friends now for nearly 9 years.

The hunting is great for getting out of the house, if im hunting deer i would be up at 5 and roaming about the mountains until the early afternoon. Great craic alone or with a buddy

johnayo

Join a walking club. I know the shift work will get in the way some of the time but they are generally very sociable.

Alpha_zero

You need a friend with benefits, think single moms or tinder chick in early 20's.

witchgirl26

Patww79 wrote: »

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That's a load of bull. I'm learning golf in my 30's and was playing one of the major courses in the country and everyone was encouraging and enthusiastic. In fact there were a lot of comments made about getting younger people interested. I've never felt not wanted on a course and I've played a few.

Look if sport is your thing, golf can be great. My mam is retired and has found the competitions a brilliant way to make friends and meet new people. Your better off to join a club rather than just casually go to play though as then you can really get to know people.

In terms of the gym - if you're going to one that's just where people come in, do their thing and leave it can be harder to socialise it. However if there are classes where you can get chatting to people during, or its a smaller gym that do events then happy days.

Do you like doing wordwork or building things? I've a friend who was off work for a number of months due to an injury and did a part-time course in wordwork. Built a set of tables and a few other bits of furniture which look fab.

I wouldn't discount the mens shed thing either - similar to the ICA, there's a lot more younger members joining who are in a similar position to you. Just maybe worth sussing out the average age of the nearest one. And who knows, even if it is all older lads, it might be a good laugh still.

Apocalypticism

i am 22 and have the same problem, what I do is learn new languages, might be useful in the future me thinks.

OldMrBrennan83

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Pawwed Rig

aaakev wrote: »

Iv a few hobbies, i go gym every morning before work. I do a bit of off road driving, dirt biking and hunting/shooting. The shooting is a great one for meeting people and its very social especially if you join a target shooting club. (Many people like shooting but dont fancy hunting)

Are you in Ireland? I found all of those things very accessible when I was in the US but not common at all over here.

I remember one night going to Walmart and buying beers and hundreds of bullets to go out into the desert with an American (fanatical hunter) guy to shoot clay pigeons and then screaming around on quads. Great times.

aaakev

Yeah man im in kildare! Very accessible just strict licencing laws if you want to own a gun. There is a shooting forum here on boards where you can get all the info and advice you need

thetimeisnow

Thanks everyone for the replies. A lot of people have suggested I need an OH:) which is probably my end game. But its a constant gnaw and worry in my head that if I ever do meet someone they will be put off by how little I have going in my life outside of work

witchgirl26

Patww79 wrote: »

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I really don't find that at all. Maybe just trying the wrong clubs though. My mam learnt to play in her late 50's and is very much a welcomed and valued member in her club (which isn't an upper society type place at all - everyone welcome).

thetimeisnow wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the replies. A lot of people have suggested I need an OH:) which is probably my end game. But its a constant gnaw and worry in my head that if I ever do meet someone they will be put off by how little I have going in my life outside of work

Honestly OP, I think the fact that you want to have stuff going on would counteract that. People understand that sometimes with work and how life is, that when people get down time, they just want to chill out. Just do stuff you want to do, even if it means doing it by yourself for a bit.

bren2001

Patww79 wrote: »

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Literally couldn't be further from my experience with golf. I've found clubs and people to be welcoming regardless of abilities. Once you follow the rules and etiquette (which are pretty obvious), I've never run into an issue. Any time I see a new person hacking up a course, I just smile and am glad I'm past that stage (barely!).

Pawwed Rig

Not a golfer myself but have heard the terms hacker be used disparagingly on numerous occasions. Usually in relation to holding up the supposed pro trying to play through.

OldMrBrennan83

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Bowlardo

Tennis is meant to be a great one to play. You can play it for the rest of your life. Not t as pricey as golf. Games are shorter than golf. Haven’t taken it up myself yet but will do in the future

eeloe

Someone mentioned it already, but i’m gonna say it again. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, it’s a fantastic sport, I’ve been to number of clubs around the country at this stage, and not one of them made me feel uncomfortable to enter, everyone is so helpful.

And don’t gimme the ‘30’s is too old to start’ I started at 32.

We have members in our gym from 15-58. The comoradere in the clubs is fantastic, you’ll make some great friends, you’ll get fitter and learn an awesome new skill.

Try it, most clubs give your first couple of classes free so you have nothing to lose.

eeloe

OP, join a role-playing club. Yup. D&D, or any of the white wolf releases. I've found that there's been a surge of interest for men in the 30-40 age range, and you'll meet similar lads to yourself. And a few creepy lasses too. Good fun.

I'd also suggest dance classes. I did Salsa/Tango when I was in my late 20s, (I did ballroom/traditional dance in my 30s) and it was an excellent way to meet women (for all manner of relationships). I've found plenty of use for it while on holidays/travels too, and it's nice to be able to do something most other guys can't/won't. Women love that you can.

Lastly, consider writing short stories and getting them published. Not a huge commitment of time needed, and if you get them published to magazines, you can make quite a bit of cash. I've recently switched from short stories to writing novels, which requires far more commitment/discipline, but if you have the time available...

eeloe wrote: »

Try it, most clubs give your first couple of classes free so you have nothing to lose.

I'd second that. I've done a variety of marital arts intros for free and they're interesting to try out.