Personal issues with relationship

monday10

Hi guys, advice please. I went out with a guy for about a year 7 years ago. It turns out he was gay. We became best friends. The problem is he is in the closet big time. He won't talk about it, he won't admit it nothing. Infact I think he has being seeing some guy in secret for the last few years( good for him as far as I'm concerned). His family think I'm his girlfriend and they hate me because I cheat on him all the time ( I sometimes go on dates and get seen by some member of his family) .

Ok this is where it gets messy. Go back 15 years ago I went out with his older brother! I was madly in love with him and he was madly in love with me. He dumped me because his sister's told him to ( he was an alcoholic at the time and they didn't want me involved with him as they where afraid I would get hurt. They used to like me) ........ anyway my point is I'm still in love with him. What can I do to move on?? I would really like to meet someone else but I can't forget about him..... like it's being 15 years..... one part of me wants to tell him the other part of me knows I can't without taken the brother out of the closet....... I'm Sure he has probably never given me a second thought and hates me because he thinks I'm cheating on him brother!! I never even speak to him as himself and his brother don't are not close.

osarusan

Does the rest of his family think you have been cheating on him for the last 6 years? And he has allowed that to continue all that time? And you've allowed it too?

Him telling his family he is gay is his business.

But if they think you are cheating on him, they think you are in a relationship with him, and that's your business - tell them you are no longer in a relationship, or get him to tell them. You don't have to be a part of that game, and he can't make you be one.

He doesn't need to reveal anything about his sexuality to do that either, and that will allow you to move on.

monday10

He tell the family nothing..... That's the point. He says nothing to them about his personal life. I told them 6 years ago that thing just didn't work out and that we where good friends. But I sometimes go to his house for a few drinks and stay over! That's why they think we are an on/off couple.

Big Bag of Chips

Where do you stay? And is it really that much hassle to go home. I know he's a great friend of yours, but if you have designs on his older brother then maybe you'd want to lay off the staying over with the younger brother! Older brother is really very unlikely to go anywhere near you if he has any respect for his brother at all.

I think you've burned whatever bridges with the older brother. If the family think you're messing his brother around he's not likely to be too interested. Whether or not your friend wants to tell his family he is gay is completely his own business, but you need to put a stop to any thoughts that you are a couple.. that might mean no longer staying at his after a night out.

monday10

In a spare bedroom, we both live out the country side and it's very hard to get taxi .