Confused and curious...a horrible combination

corinna32

I’m a confused woman. I’ve always had feelings for women and even had a kiss or two. The thing is now I’m married I feel even more confused. I’m not a horrible person..and I do love my husband but I can’t stop thinking about being with a woman. I don’t know what to do anymore.

A Pint of Goo

corinna32 wrote: »

I’m a confused woman. I’ve always had feelings for women and even had a kiss or two. The thing is now I’m married I feel even more confused. I’m not a horrible person..and I do love my husband but I can’t stop thinking about being with a woman. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Suggest a threesome. As a straight male I can tell you he's unlikely to say no.

Annasopra

A Pint of Goo wrote: »

Suggest a threesome. As a straight male I can tell you he's unlikely to say no.

Mod

Dont post in this thread again

A Pint of Goo

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Mod

Dont post in this thread again

Why?

corinna32

Just to clarify...I am not looking for a threesome! This is something I want to experience with a woman without a man!!

JackTaylorFan

Not to sound patronising or anything... but have you ever discussed these urges with your husband? Or are you planning to?

Avatar MIA

Are you sexually attracted to your husband?

baby and crumble

A Pint of Goo wrote: »

Why?

Your comment was not appropriate given the nature of the forum. If you have a problem with a mod instruction, take it to PM. Don't argue on thread, it's in the charter.

P_1

Sit down with your husband, explain your sexuality and your feelings .Establish how feels.

While not being as crude as the poster who suggested a threesome, if it's something that both of you are comfortable with then opening your relationship somewhat could be the solution.

Best of luck with it OP.

corinna32

JackTaylorFan wrote: »

Not to sound patronising or anything... but have you ever discussed these urges with your husband? Or are you planning to?

Hi, I have in a round about way..he knows I have a lot of celebrity female crushes and stuff and only talked about it as a possible 3 some thing he’d like, but as I said, I’d prefer to explore things with a woman by myself first.

JackTaylorFan

corinna32 wrote: »

Hi, I have in a round about way..he knows I have a lot of celebrity female crushes and stuff and only talked about it as a possible 3 some thing he’d like, but as I said, I’d prefer to explore things with a woman by myself first.

So you've made jokes and throwaway comments and never actually addressed the issue head-on - like a mature adult. Yeah, you're not really being fair to anyone here - yourself or your husband. And even though he might entertain the idea of a threesome - you've already made it clear that's not what you really want. You want something without a man; without your husband. I suppose with his permission you could do that... but right now your marriage is in danger of becoming a bad storyline from a 90's sitcom.

Sorry to be so flippant but your approach is not healthy.

corinna32

Avatar MIA wrote: »

Are you sexually attracted to your husband?

Yes I am. But I am also attracted to women and that’s the problem I’m facing.

corinna32

JackTaylorFan wrote: »

So you've made jokes and throwaway comments and never actually addressed the issue head-on - like a mature adult. Yeah, you're not really being fair to anyone here - yourself or your husband. And even though he might entertain the idea of a threesome - you've already made it clear that's not what you really want. You want something without a man; without your husband. I suppose with his permission you could do that... but right now your marriage is in danger of becoming a bad storyline from a 90's sitcom.

Sorry to be so flippant but your approach is not healthy.

I appreciate your comment and I think I just have to work up the nerve to address this with him in a mature way.

Avatar MIA

corinna32 wrote: »

Yes I am. But I am also attracted to women and that’s the problem I’m facing.

Would you be okay with your husband having sex with someone else he was attracted to?

corinna32

P_1 wrote: »

Sit down with your husband, explain your sexuality and your feelings .Establish how feels.

While not being as crude as the poster who suggested a threesome, if it's something that both of you are comfortable with then opening your relationship somewhat could be the solution.


Best of luck with it OP.

Thank you x I get the feeling that this is the best course of action for me

khaldrogo

How would you feel if your husband told you he wanted to have sex with someone else?

corinna32

Avatar MIA wrote: »

Would you be okay with your husband having sex with someone else he was attracted to?

I don’t know..I’m just so confused.

corinna32

khaldrogo wrote: »

How would you feel if your husband told you he wanted to have sex with someone else?

I would feel hurt I’m sure.

Avatar MIA

corinna32 wrote: »

I don’t know..I’m just so confused.

You've kindly answered my questions.

When we get married we're supposed to forsake all others. Or at least be open with the other person you may have sexual desires you think will need to be fulfilled outside of the marriage. Ideally you should have been up front about this beforehand.

Saying you've celebrity crushes wont register with a man as someone being bi or lesbian, they'll just think cool, but she's with me so must be happy. Over time the penny might drop, but that's months/years down the line.

Now, plenty of people in marriages straight and otherwise will have people being unfaithful. Do you want to be that type of person?

If, and I know you said you're sexually attracted to your husband, and that's fine, buy IF you're not do yourself and your husband a big big favour and be honest with yourself and your husband.

Good luck, and I hope it works out for you.

A Pint of Goo

corinna32 wrote: »

Just to clarify...I am not looking for a threesome! This is something I want to experience with a woman without a man!!

<snip>

cgcsb

corinna32 wrote: »

I’m a confused woman. I’ve always had feelings for women and even had a kiss or two. The thing is now I’m married I feel even more confused. I’m not a horrible person..and I do love my husband but I can’t stop thinking about being with a woman. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Are you gay or bisexual? Why did you marry him?

bullvine

Just stumbled across this thread.

I can relate to this, lets just say I have a friend in a similar situation. Best not to keep it to yourself. If you cant shake the feeling and the thoughts you probably never will but you should not go through your life with what ifs. A lot of women can be bi-curious until they meet the right one and then they realize they are bi. This does not mean the end of your relationship. Communication is Key!

The most important thing is to tell your husband, doing something behind his back will just hurt him and possibly destroy your relationship.

Plenty of options for you to take if you wish to pursue it.

wakka12

Well, do you think you might be gay, and not attracted to your husband? If not, then were really just trying to justify cheating I guess? Which of course wouldnt go down too well if the thread was about you seeing another man you wanted to sleep with, be faithful to your husband if you love him and well if you would prefer be with a woman then maybe its something you should try to talk to him about

baby and crumble

In reality you have three options.

1) Stay committed to your husband and feel attraction to other people thoughout your life but don't act on it.

2) Cheat on your husband. The gender of people here really makes no difference.

3) Talk to your husband and explain that you are not sexually happy in the relationship as it stands. Be aware that most people are not going to be super supportive about opening up a relationship etc, even if it is for someone to simply explore a facet of who they are.

You can still identify as bisexual if you are not currently havving sex with members of more than one gender. You still are bisexual or pansexual if you aren't having sex with anyone. The physical act doesn't define your sexuality.

WIZWEB

My 'straight' sister let it slip recently to me and my other sister that she recently had two lesbian experiences. I didn't bat an eyelid as I know sexuality can be fluid. My other straight sister was a little less accepting though which we were both a bit surprised with though. Maybe feels a bit repressed. Hope you worked something out with your husband OP.

AllForIt

WIZWEB wrote: »

My 'straight' sister let it slip recently to me and my other sister that she recently had two lesbian experiences. I didn't bat an eyelid as I know sexuality can be fluid. My other straight sister was a little less accepting though which we were both a bit surprised with though. Maybe feels a bit repressed. Hope you worked something out with your husband OP.

I don't think sexual preference is 'generally' fluid...as if it could turn at any minute for anyone. I'd eat my hat if I ever fancied the female form myself (no offence women!)

368100

AllForIt wrote: »

I don't think sexual preference is 'generally' fluid...as if it could turn at any minute for anyone. I'd eat my hat if I ever fancied the female form myself (no offence women!)

The poster said "can be" not "is generally"

AllForIt

368100 wrote: »

The poster said "can be" not "is generally"

Yes quite right. I didn't notice the quotes he put around 'straight sister' on first reading.