Destent to break up??

Kellie93

Ok so sorry for the long post to begin with but I am at a complete loss. Me and my partner have been together 3 years ( on and off for 7) if known him for about 10 years. He was friends with my brother and I knew the minute I set eyes on him he was the one. It took a few years between him working abroad and constantly being gone for us to properly settle down. We have 2 under 2 now and this past year I'm fighting with myself every other day to stay and make it work.. don't get me wrong he's so caring loyal funny kind amazing but silly things are just becoming unbearable.. he works but when it comes to the kids or house he's lazy he's childish and what's really killing it is his personal hygiene. He showers once a week twice if I'm lucky. He never brushes his teeth and he knows that I can't stand neglected teeth I'm constantly dropping hints and buying new brushes. I don't want to be in any way intimate with him because of this he's just turning me off even tho he's so handsome. I just feel like things are getto mg worse we went from neber argueing to me being silent with him every other day. I feel like I'm constantly finding somethimg to be pissed at him with. I don't want to break our family up I really don't ( we both come from broken family backrounds) but I just feel in constantly fighting an urge... I hate being so unhappy with him bit he doesn't take anything I say seriously. He works and I stay home with our babies do the house work cook his dinner make sure his washing is done make his lunch get the grocery shop in.. I basically do everything at home without asking for help and he has the cheek to tell me then that I never want him.. he is starting to repulse me... any advice welcome sorry again

Ken.

Hey Kellie, your post would probably be better off in the relationship forum. I'll move it there and it can always be moved back if you want.

Ken.

Mod-Moved from Separation & Divorce. Please read the local(very strict) charter before replying. Thank you.

zapper55

The hints aren't working. The picking fights aren't working and are a terrible idea.

You need to sit down with him when the kids are in bed and properly talk to him. If he's not taking care of his personal hygiene is there a chance he's struggling with his mental health? It can be a sign.

Or maybe deep down he's just struggling with being in a settled relationship as you mentioned it took him a long time to get with him.

Either way you need a proper talk with him.

Sunflower 27

You are holding onto hope of who he may be: if he took your hints on board and changed himself. Clearly this isn't happening, he is who he is.

It's sad that you have a young family and clearly want it to work, but if he isn't prepared to change, you are flogging a dead horse.

If you told him it's either make more effort with his personal hygiene or you leave, what would he say? If he isn't overly botheted, you know what you have to do.

Teyla Emmagan

Just tell him to brush his teeth and have a shower every day. Never mind the hints. I wouldn't kiss anyone with furry teeth either, it's completely gross. Being clean for your partner are the absolute basics.

Mr. Incognito

You need to sit down like an adult and talk to him.

No more hints.

C3PO

A daily shower and washing your teeth at least twice a day is just basic personal hygiene! Tell him to clean up his act!