BF looking up escorts

Blondie1994

I have been with my bf for over a year and a half we have had a few problems in the past and he ended the relationship we broke up for only a week got back together. In the past I had caught him talking to other girls and I felt really insecure as it became quite a toxic relationship I was paranoid he was cheating on me the whole time and could not trust him. Since getting back together he has turned into the perfect bf I check his phone now and again as I do find it hard to believe that he has changed so much but there is nothing ever there and know that he is trying to make things work and it really is! Last night I looked at his web history and seen he had looked up escorts in his Dublin area I don’t know wether to say anything as I shouldn’t of been looking at his phone but I just don’t want to get fooled again by him! Is this a big deal? Btw in the past he used to look up escorts the whole time I have never confronted him about it but I don’t want to go back to that paranoid state of having no trust!

defrule

Coming from a guy here, all it could mean is that he’s masterbating to the photos.

I look them up to quite often but never used them.

Blondie1994

Thanks for commenting. I guess that fact that he is actually looking up escorts in his area is what seemed the most suspicious

pc7

If you don’t trust him and have to look at his phone I think the writing is on the wall. It’s no way to live.

whippet

Probably innocent enough .. however; if I had suspicions that my partner was having sneaky peeks at my phone and web history I’d plant some mental stuff in there and wait for the rebuttal and get rid.

Put it this way .. either your suspicious of him or he isn’t to be trusted ... so in both cases it looks like you probably are not supposed to be together

punisher5112

Is this the same person with all the other thread of them split up or is that another Blondie?????

Why do you that is looking?

Has he gone off with any?

Dial Hard

Blondie1994 wrote:

I don’t want to go back to that paranoid state of having no trust!

Erm, I hate to break it to you, love, but you're already there.

Actually, correction, you're still there, because you never left that state in the first place.

This relationship is dead on its feet. You don't trust him and you never will. Do both of you a favour and end it.

Blondie1994

Thanks for commenting. I guess that fact that he is actually looking up escorts in his area is what seemed the most suspicious

Seth Brundle

Blondie1994 wrote: »

Thanks for commenting. I guess that fact that he is actually looking up escorts in his area is what seemed the most suspicious

You wouldn't know what he had been looking up if your lack of trust didn't push you into snooping through his phone.
It's a pointless relationship as it will never go anywhere if one person doesn't trust the other!

joeguevara

defrule wrote: »

Coming from a guy here, all it could mean is that he’s masterbating to the photos.

I look them up to quite often but never used them.

Doubt it’s the masturbating thing. Much better things on internet for that. More than likely it’s curiosity as it’s a sub culture and taboo so maybe fueling fantasies. He might be calling to bring that further.

Doubtful he is using them as he would probably do a better job hiding history. Not that I would ever think you should invade anyone’s privacy (but you have looked up his history) if there is random numbers called at strange times then that would be more damning.

My advice is ask him. Probably just a fantasy that may even boost your sex life.not knowing will eat away at you and more than likely spell the end.

GreeBo

Does he know you are checking his phone?
I'd be...upset...If I was him.

Blondie1994

GreeBo wrote: »

Does he know you are checking his phone?
I'd be...upset...If I was him.

No he dosnt I know he would be upset but every girl does it

Gee_G

Blondie1994 wrote: »

No he dosnt I know he would be upset but every girl does it

No, I think only girls that have insecurities with their partners do it. I'd confront him about it or it will eat you up :-)

Blondie1994

Gee_G wrote: »

No, I think only girls that have insecurities with their partners do it. I'd confront him about it or it will eat you up :-)

I just don’t know how to bring it up as I know I am in the wrong for looking at his phone and I can’t even prove that he got an escort and I don’t think he has but it just annoys me that he is looking at them and makes me feel like he dosnt find me attractive!

Gee_G

Blondie1994 wrote: »

I just don’t know how to bring it up as I know I am in the wrong for looking at his phone and I can’t even prove that he got an escort and I don’t think he has but it just annoys me that he is looking at them and makes me feel like he dosnt find me attractive!

That's absolutely no way for you to live! I'd chance bringing it up anyway and tell him why you felt like you needed to and if he is innocent and if he respects you at all, he will tell you the truth about it all and you can either move on with him or without ;-)

akelly02

Blondie1994 wrote: »

No he dosnt I know he would be upset but every girl does it

No they don’t

joeguevara

Blondie1994 wrote: »

I just don’t know how to bring it up as I know I am in the wrong for looking at his phone and I can’t even prove that he got an escort and I don’t think he has but it just annoys me that he is looking at them and makes me feel like he dosnt find me attractive!

There are a few parts to this post. Firstly you are annoyed that he is looking at them as it makes you think he doesn’t find you attractive. Would you feel the same about porn or is it that the escorts are attainable at the end of the phone. If it is the former then that is your issue as the vast majority of people look at/use porn. If it is the latter then you need to know if he is using them.

Ok, I will get this out of the way. You were wrong for invading his privacy and looking at his phone laptop. If you found nothing then that makes you a bad person. But fcuk it. You found what you found. Confront him and straight up say ‘I am going to give you one chance to answer this honestly. If I think you are lying it’s over. Why were you looking at escorts and have you ever had sex with them’. If he try’s to deflect and question how you know, say I am giving you one chance to be honest.

Get your answer and make an informed decision. For most it would be a deal breaker. However the only positive is that it was physical cheating (if it happened) rather than emotional cheating if he started seeing someone behind your back. Subtle difference that probably won’t change.

Don’t let the unknown eat away at you. Make decisions with actual information.

wirelessdude01

Blondie1994 wrote:

No he dosnt I know he would be upset but every girl does it

No they don't

Ultimate Seduction

Bad enough checking his phone for txts or Snapchat to see if he's chatting girls, but looking up his browsing history is a serious invasion of privacy! Leave they guy, you don't trust him and you never will.

beefburrito

I just don't get it, seriously run to the hills.

Your gut tells you not to trust him....red flag

He's looking up escorts.....forest of red flags

There's no compromise here.

Run run run.....

Common sense is all that's needed

Blondie1994

Ultimate Seduction wrote: »

Bad enough checking his phone for txts or Snapchat to see if he's chatting girls, but looking up his browsing history is a serious invasion of privacy! Leave they guy, you don't trust him and you never will.

Yes it is and I feel bad for looking but don’t I have a right to know these things?? I couldn’t care less if he was watching porn but looking up escorts is a lot different!

ManOfMystery

And this is how relationships deteriorate.

He played up first by talking to other girls and looking up escorts, fuelling your insecurities. You then give in to said insecurities and start snooping on him, which is of course wrong but still not on the same level of wrong as actually cheating or - potentially - seeing escorts. And he still seems to continue in his behaviour, only more discreetly.

IMO this relationship is dead in the water, you have no trust and without that the relationship is effectively meaningless. It's just two people who get along, one trying to catch the other out and the other trying to hide his behaviour. That's not how it's meant to be.

Mackerel and Avocado Sandwich

Just to chime in ive looked at these sites as have most blokes I know at one stage or another. Just out of curiously and to look at the pictures really!

max life

Blondie1994 wrote: »

I have been with my bf for over a year and a half we have had a few problems in the past and he ended the relationship we broke up for only a week got back together. In the past I had caught him talking to other girls and I felt really insecure as it became quite a toxic relationship I was paranoid he was cheating on me the whole time and could not trust him. Since getting back together he has turned into the perfect bf I check his phone now and again as I do find it hard to believe that he has changed so much but there is nothing ever there and know that he is trying to make things work and it really is! Last night I looked at his web history and seen he had looked up escorts in his Dublin area I don’t know wether to say anything as I shouldn’t of been looking at his phone but I just don’t want to get fooled again by him! Is this a big deal? Btw in the past he used to look up escorts the whole time I have never confronted him about it but I don’t want to go back to that paranoid state of having no trust!

It is quite obvious that you checked his phone because of a lack of trust. NO relationship can last without
trust. Best to cut your losses

bucketybuck

joeguevara wrote: »

Ok, I will get this out of the way. You were wrong for invading his privacy and looking at his phone laptop. If you found nothing then that makes you a bad person. But fcuk it. You found what you found. Confront him and straight up say ‘I am going to give you one chance to answer this honestly. If I think you are lying it’s over. Why were you looking at escorts and have you ever had sex with them’. If he try’s to deflect and question how you know, say I am giving you one chance to be honest.

Get your answer and make an informed decision. For most it would be a deal breaker.

Damn right if a girl came out with that lot to me it would be a deal breaker.

"You have one chance or its over"? There is the door, take yourself through it as quick as you went through my internet history."

LolaJJ

I was in a relationship like this before. My ex would come back a changed man, but deep down I knew he hadn't changed and whenever I looked hard enough to find evidence against him...I would find it. Because your gut instinct already knows what he is like.

I don't think the escorts are the important detail here. You're in a relationship that has broken trust. There's no real way to fix that and you might tell yourself that checking his phone is normal, it's not. In a healthy relationship, you would respect your partner too much to violate him that way.

Maybe move on to someone who doesn't provoke that side of you

Ursus Horribilis

Take that job you've been offered (in the other thread) and leave him.

power pants

Would be very surprised if he wasnt going with escorts

The juat curious or getting off on the pics is just a classic cliched excuse