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Sisters a troublemaker

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  • 04-05-2018 11:03am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So my bf sister is a real piece of work to deal with, she doesn't like me and I'm okay with that, I've known that since I started dating my bf 7 years ago, nd even though I technically never did anything to her ever for her to dislike me, I just figured she's set in her ways and she doesn't seem to have a lot of mates or like anyone in general I suppose so it doesn't bother me about her. She's just a plank in my eyes a brain with no filter.

    she's the oldest in his family in her late 30s, he's 28 and I'm 25, she thinks she can dominate everyone and everything, constant criticism etc from her. Iv dealt with that didn't want to say much even when she was being Smart c*nt towards me out of respect that she's my bf sister. Once she had the cheek to say to my bf that I was too immature for him even though she acts like a spoilt 15 year old herself that pulls strops when she doesn't get her way with his parents among other people.

    So she fell out with me recently over a very stupid issue like usual with her, an issue that makes her look extremely immature and quite frankly sad Tbh. When she realised she wasn't getting to me she made up lies about me, tried to cause trouble between the two of us and and completely blew everything out of proportion... I haven't spoken to her in over a month neither has my bf, it doesn't bother either of us we actually haven't argued once since we fell out with her as appose to the numerous occasions she has being the cause of our conflict before. With her interference and trouble making.

    Anyways she basically went back and told a pack of lies about me and my bf to his other sisters and their partners saying we were talking about them and what not and just tried making us look like c*nts to them. Now they won't speak to us and I don't know what she has said because no one will have the decency to tell us so we can defend ourselves, but I'm assuming it's mostly directed at me because they seem to have more of a problem with me then they do with my bf.

    One of the others sisters child's communion is on next weekend and iv made it clear and I hope I don't get criticism on here for doing it but I told my bf hell will freeze over before I set foot at it because of their attitude towards me. He has agreed that he can see my point but now he is saying that if I don't go he won't which is completely unfair because not only will it make him look bad for not going to his nieces communion but it will also be another thing for them to talk about and hold against me, because I know for a fact they will turn it around and blame me for it. And that's something she ie. Sister that hates me would love ino well.

    What should I do about it in regards to the communion?? Should I give in to him nd go for him even though his sisters will just ignore me and treat me like a piece of dirt?? and what the hell are you suppose to do with people like this???


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    #2
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    Have you actually been invited to the communion?? If so, I'd see that as an olive branch and it would be very poor form not to attend (and as your boyfriend said, ammunition against you in the future).


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    #3
    GingerLily
    Registered Users Posts: 4,767 ✭✭✭GingerLily


    What actually happened with the sister?
    It's really hard to make out who the actual troublemaker is in this situation, there's a pair of you in it from what I can see.

    Are you serious about your boyfriend? Would you consider trying to get along with his family and just not engaging with that sister?


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    #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    The reason his sister fell out with me is because she had asked me to leave my back door unlocked one day for her teenager to call up after school as we live in the town and they live out the countryside and said teenager was not getting the bus home this particular day, I forgot to do it I was running late for work and I just never thought, went to work and about an hour later got a very abusive text off the sister. Then a phone call off my brother to say that she had rang him saying I did it on purpose and that she had to drive the whole way into town to pick up the child, which is 5min drive god love her!!! (Hence why I said it was such a stupid situation that she fell out with me for)

    I do love my bf and we get on extremely well, all my family love him and are very accepting people, I get on very greatly with his parents and two brothers and their said partners. It's pretty much just his sister really that seems to have it in for me, and wants his other sisters to also for some reason I'm to blame for everything that goes wrong.

    In regards to being invited to the communion in the past 7 years we have being to family events were never invited they don't do the whole invite /invitation thing with anyone they just give a date and time and you either go or don't go. I just didn't think I had to go when I was being treated so rudely that's all


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    #5
    Blondie1994
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭Blondie1994


    I think you should go to the communion just so she can’t say anything else about you and it shows you are the bigger person! Maybe you and your bf should try cut her out of your lives as much as possible she seems to be very negative and that must be hard in your relationship at the end of the day you are going out with him and not his sisters. Family is important but if they are causing this much trouble I wouldn’t give them the time of day


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    #6
    Ghekko
    Closed Accounts Posts: 942 ✭✭✭Ghekko


    Given its not her child I think you should both go. Speak to those who will talk to you as if nothing is untoward, and just steer clear of her. Don't get into a situation where ye are alone in a room with her. Make sure there are others around at all times so that she cannot then tell more lies about you. Even if she did start an argument hold your tongue and be polite. Let her be the one to show herself up.


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    #7
    SirChenjin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,111 ✭✭✭SirChenjin


    Ghekko wrote: »
    Given its not her child I think you should both go. Speak to those who will talk to you as if nothing is untoward, and just steer clear of her. Don't get into a situation where ye are alone in a room with her. Make sure there are others around at all times so that she cannot then tell more lies about you. Even if she did start an argument hold your tongue and be polite. Let her be the one to show herself up.

    +1 to this.
    And don't react to any drama on the day, should it occur, as this would be unfair to the child and parents involved.


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    #8
    nikkibikki
    Registered Users Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭nikkibikki


    SirChenjin wrote:
    +1 to this. And don't react to any drama on the day, should it occur, as this would be unfair to the child and parents involved.


    Another +1. If she tries to start anything just say today is the child's day, it really shouldn't be about anyone else.


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    #9
    valoren
    Registered Users Posts: 5,458 ✭✭✭valoren


    It seems like you have a malignant narcissist OP. I'd suggest reading up on that particular type. The sister appears to be a perfect fit i.e. a **** stirring, trouble making drama queen with nothing better to do than cause problems.

    If I were you I would go to the communion but you should go looking your very best and be polite, courteous and radiant. You have something that she doesn't have. I'd hazard a guess at you being better looking, fitter and younger than her. She won't cause any trouble with people there. She will instead make up whatever she can to smear you e.g. she will say you insulted her/her dress/her hair outside the church, it would be your word against her's kind of thing. Your only winning move with someone like that is to not play their games. You ignore them and let them rot. In this case, ask your boyfriend to remain with you at all times so she can't use that manipulative tactic.

    She's out to destroy you OP, you're not a door mat, you are your own person and she knows it, the only thing she can do is drive you away. It's what people like that do unfortunately. Thankfully, you have longevity in your relationship so she can't look to manipulate your boyfriend against you. You're together 7 years and he clearly sees a future there.

    We'd all love to have our own and our partners families to be polite, respectful, tactful and downright good and decent people but life isn't that simple or easy. I'd suggest reading about that particular personality disorder mentioned above and going to the communion and actually enjoying it. Nothing would drive that crazy bint more than seeing that her crap doesn't stick.


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