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Approaching a woman I am attracted to

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  • 03-05-2018 10:33pm
    #1
    jk23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 877 ✭✭✭


    Hi, I am just hoping for some help in regard to a woman I think is very attractive and I have been chatting to a few times.

    What is the best way to tell if she is interested or if there would be a way of swapping numbers. It’s find it’s awkward and hard to do this outside of a pub environment in Ireland.

    I really appreciate any advice or pointers? Thank you..


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    #2
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users Posts: 13,419 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Ask her would she like to go for coffee/a drink some time. It really is as simple as that.


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    #3
    368100
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,067 ✭✭✭368100


    Yep, keep it casual and ask her for a coffee....if you dont ask you dont get. Go for it.


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    #4
    jk23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 877 ✭✭✭jk23


    Dial Hard wrote: »
    Ask her would she like to go for coffee/a drink some time. It really is as simple as that.

    Thanks for replying. The straight to the point approach would probably be the best alright but is there any way to tell if she is interested or is difficult to tell the signs that’s if she is interested at all in meeting up?...


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    #5
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,316 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Nike*

    Ask her for a casual coffee. Find a shared hobby that you might be able to do together and suggest it over the coffee.

    When you get to my age you will wonder what all the fuss was about and wish you were more upfront with people.

    Worst case scenario is she says no. Might be a bit awkward if you let it but she will not think any less of you for asking.







    *just do it


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    #6
    odyssey06
    Registered Users Posts: 28,303 ✭✭✭✭odyssey06


    Casually ask her about her plans for the weekend... if she doesnt like you and cops you like her she will be busy. Always. If she mentions she has no plans thats a good sign. This approach isnt sound if she is a social butterfly so not an exact science but then romance never is.

    "To follow knowledge like a sinking star..." (Tennyson's Ulysses)



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    #7
    jk23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 877 ✭✭✭jk23


    odyssey06 wrote: »
    Casually ask her about her plans for the weekend... if she doesnt like you and cops you like her she will be busy. Always. If she mentions she has no plans thats a good sign. This approach isnt sound if she is a social butterfly so not an exact science but then romance never is.

    Yes that is my big worry that I will be rejected and embarrassed so reading a signal or two would be helpful. Thanks for the tip :)


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    #8
    368100
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,067 ✭✭✭368100


    jk23 wrote: »
    Yes that is my big worry that I will be rejected and embarrassed so reading a signal or two would be helpful. Thanks for the tip :)

    Is she friendly to you when you're in her company? Does she always smile and touch your arms etc when she's talking to you?

    Theyre probable signs but its not an exact science, some people make it very obvious, others keep it contained. It shouldnt put you off either way


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    #9
    jk23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 877 ✭✭✭jk23


    368100 wrote: »
    Is she friendly to you when you're in her company? Does she always smile and touch your arms etc when she's talking to you?

    Theyre probable signs but its not an exact science, some people make it very obvious, others keep it contained. It shouldnt put you off either way

    Yes she is friendly but a lot of women are like that and it’s rarely flirting. There hasn’t been any touching or obvious signs of interest contact wise.

    I think you are right, the best approach is to ask her straight out for a meet up. Thanks to you and and everyone who posted here. I appreciate it :)


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    #10
    368100
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,067 ✭✭✭368100


    jk23 wrote: »
    Yes she is friendly but a lot of women are like that and it’s rarely flirting. There hasn’t been any touching or obvious signs of interest contact wise.

    I think you are right, the best approach is to ask her straight out for a meet up. Thanks to you and and everyone who posted here. I appreciate it :)

    Best of luck!


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    #11
    jk23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 877 ✭✭✭jk23


    368100 wrote: »
    Best of luck!

    Thank you :) what’s the worst that can happen! Famous last words!!


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    #12
    Murdoc90
    Registered Users Posts: 924 ✭✭✭Murdoc90


    Does she make a point of approaching you or talking to you? do you have much in common as in hobbies or shared interests like favourite band/movie. Direct approach is probably the best if you have the nerve! Least then you will know for sure either way! Good luck


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    #13
    GreeBo
    Registered Users Posts: 27,110 ✭✭✭✭GreeBo


    Asking her for a coffee has the benefit of using her positive response to determine she is interested while a negative response isnt such a big deal, it was just a coffee.

    Asking her for a romantic dinner on the other hand will have much more of a downside, at least to your ego :)


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    #14
    BetsyEllen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭BetsyEllen


    If I’m around a guy I like, and I want him to ask me out I will try to find a way to drop into conversation that I’m single. Or that I’m not up to much that weekend.
    Has she ever stated to you that she’s single? If so I would see this as a clear sign that she finds you attractive.

    If you’re not friends on FB, add her and try to start a conversation through that if you’re too nervous to ask her out face to face.


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    #15
    joeguevara
    Registered Users Posts: 8,047 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    Not sure about the Facebook add with work colleagues. Some people think that’s a line crossed.

    Coffee idea is good but could also come across as platonic. Last girl I was seeing, we went to a gallery opening after work but both liked the artist and there was free drink. I also broke the ice by saying I had lost my phone number and could I have hers. But there was a lot of chemistry and I knew she would find it funny. It could easily have crashed and burned with someone else.

    Girl before that I came back from lunch with an ice cream. Went from there.

    Be yourself. If she likes you, it should be natural. Also don’t worry too much if it doesn’t go anywhere. She sounds nice and while awkward for a few minutes she will be flattered. Good luck. Beginning of something is exciting and the best part.


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