Men vs Women with a pram on DB

cherryghost

We have a baby for some time now and it's come to my attention that women get more priority with a pram than men. My wife is normally solo on the bus and when the bus is busy, she'll always be offered space in the disabled zone or a seat near the stairs.

Occasionally I have to be solo with our baby and I have found the entire experience exhausting and frustrating. A few days ago was just breaking point. There was 2 young people standing in disabled zone, bus wasnt that busy. I asked them both to move and only 1 moved, the other looked at me like I just spoke complete gibberish. I said it again and ended forcibly moving the pram into the zone and cutting her space into the corner as she refused to move (there was ****ing seats down below too!). A wheelchair user boarded about 10mins later so I proceeded to move to seating area. Had to ask a young woman twice to move as baby is young and asleep, would prefer not to take her out of the pram.

Fast forward to my departing stop. Back doors weren't opened. At this point the bus was packed. Proceeded to move to front of bus and a young man with headphones on was blocking the exit, asked him to move, obviously couldnt listen and didn't move. Driver just nodding his head in disgust at this point. So asked the driver to to open back doors. 2 people blocking back doors, one didn't move at all and I had to ask the 2nd to get off the bus so I could negotiate the pram off the bus... This isn't a once off either but its probably the worst experience I've had so far.

Anyway there are times we're both on the bus and I've noticed passengers are much more accommodating to her. Our body language is the same so I feel very frustrated at the situation.

Has anyone else had same, worse, or better experience on DB?

splinter65

cherryghost wrote: »

We have a baby for some time now and it's come to my attention that women get more priority with a pram than men. My wife is normally solo on the bus and when the bus is busy, she'll always be offered space in the disabled zone or a seat near the stairs.

Occasionally I have to be solo with our baby and I have found the entire experience exhausting and frustrating. A few days ago was just breaking point. There was 2 young people standing in disabled zone, bus wasnt that busy. I asked them both to move and only 1 moved, the other looked at me like I just spoke complete gibberish. I said it again and ended forcibly moving the pram into the zone and cutting her space into the corner as she refused to move (there was ****ing seats down below too!). A wheelchair user boarded about 10mins later so I proceeded to move to seating area. Had to ask a young woman twice to move as baby is young and asleep, would prefer not to take her out of the pram.

Fast forward to my departing stop. Back doors weren't opened. At this point the bus was packed. Proceeded to move to front of bus and a young man with headphones on was blocking the exit, asked him to move, obviously couldnt listen and didn't move. Driver just nodding his head in disgust at this point. So asked the driver to to open back doors. 2 people blocking back doors, one didn't move at all and I had to ask the 2nd to get off the bus so I could negotiate the pram off the bus... This isn't a once off either but its probably the worst experience I've had so far.

Anyway there are times we're both on the bus and I've noticed passengers are much more accommodating to her. Our body language is the same so I feel very frustrated at the situation.

Has anyone else had same, worse, or better experience on DB?

This is public transport all over the world. People are awful. That’s pretty much it. Before you had a baby yourself did you notice the guy with the pram?

PlaneSpeeking

Sadly that seems to be true - young man the other day on the LUAS with a toddler and a baby, no one offered to stand. Two stops later, woman gets on with toddler and a baby. Almost a fight to be the first to stand.

Very unfair.

MFlack2012

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

Sadly that seems to be true - young man the other day on the LUAS with a toddler and a baby, no one offered to stand. Two stops later, woman gets on with toddler and a baby. Almost a fight to be the first to stand.

Very unfair.

30 Year old, female. Don't normally get public transport and stay away from Buses altogether. But did board one with a younger cousin a few months back. Young lad, about cousins age (17) got on with a screaming baby, bus packed, couldn't figure out how to fold the buggy, was flying about with the baby in his arms while trying to fold the buggy. I asked him if he wanted me to take the baby, gratefully flung the baby at me. Got the buggy folded up and put away, didn't bother to take the baby back. Not that I minded at all! When he was getting off, I got off with him, holding the doors, passed the baby over and got back on. While all this was going on, 17 year old, female cousin, looked at me with disgust and shame. Continued on her phone until we got off. I think it's more to do with generation than anything else.

Samuel T. Cogley

splinter65 wrote: »

This is public transport all over the world. People are awful. That’s pretty much it. Before you had a baby yourself did you notice the guy with the pram?

It's not though. It's a peculiarly Irish thing to a) Stand in door ways and constricted spaces b) order buses with rear doors and not use them.

cherryghost

splinter65 wrote: »

This is public transport all over the world. People are awful. That’s pretty much it. Before you had a baby yourself did you notice the guy with the pram?

Yes, and in many cases have helped and/or made sure they had sufficient room they required. It just hits me harder now that I'm on the other end.

bk

I actually find the opposite. My missus seems to have more issues then I do when I'm on the bus with the little one.

I definitely have experienced everything you mentioned, drooling idiots who stand in the buggy/wheelchair bay and the muppets who hang onto the bar by the driver the entire time despite there being loads of seats.

But the difference between me and her is that she is relatively quiet and timid, so people are slow to react. I on the other hand am more assertive about it. I assume most people will see the buggy coming and move and in fairness the majority do. But for the slow idiots I say in a polite, but assertive and loudly: "you are standing in the buggy area, could you please move to one of the free seats". That quickly embarrasses most of them into quickly moving. For the very odd truly idiots then whoops the buggies muddy wheels gets run over their nice white runners.

When we are all together, I normally bring the buggy on the bus, put it in the bay and then go sit at the back and she stays with the baby. I do this as usually I've less trouble getting them cleared out.

I agree though it is mostly a generational thing. It is usually younger people, school/college age, maybe the odd mid 20's. Anyone older then this are usually great and very helpful.

Actually now that I think of it, one area that is a bit more awkward is the new buggy area on the newer buses behind the stairs. It is actually a much better spot to put the buggy, but there can be some issues with older folks moving from there if there is already a wheelchair/buggy in the normal bay, even if there is empty seats directly behind them (which are actually the designated seats for elderly people on the new buses). They are use to these seats being the designated "elderly" seats on the older buses and don't like being asked to move.

PlaneSpeeking

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

It's not though. It's a peculiarly Irish thing to a) Stand in door ways and constricted spaces b) order buses with rear doors and not use them.

This morning we had that, absolutely jammers LUAS and at Jervis when it empties out a tad, the two either side of the door would not move.

Pelvis

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

Sadly that seems to be true - young man the other day on the LUAS with a toddler and a baby, no one offered to stand. Two stops later, woman gets on with toddler and a baby. Almost a fight to be the first to stand.

Very unfair.

Unless they're standing holding a toddler in their arms, why should there be an obligation on anyone else to vacate their seat?

I'll get up for pregnant women or the elderly (who look like they need it) or the disabled. But people pushing a buggy?? Na.

PlaneSpeeking

Pelvis wrote: »

Unless they're standing holding a toddler in their arms, why should there be an obligation on anyone else to vacate their seat?

I'll get up for pregnant women or the elderly (who look like they need it) or the disabled. But people pushing a buggy?? Na.

I'd generally agree - but two kids I think, fair enough.

What I won't do is (as happened a few weeks ago) stand up because little Fintan "likes the flippy chairs" - "ask the lady can she stand up so you can play with them".

Get. To. F***

irelandrover

Pelvis wrote: »

Unless they're standing holding a toddler in their arms, why should there be an obligation on anyone else to vacate their seat?

I'll get up for pregnant women or the elderly (who look like they need it) or the disabled. But people pushing a buggy?? Na.

The thread is about how men and women are treated differently on teh bus. In this case both had a toddler and a baby and people only got up for the woman.

I must say people have been pretty good when i have the buggy. Although i do go as close as possible to them if they dont move and forget to put on the brake. Its terrible how they get hit when the bus starts moving.

PlaneSpeeking

irelandrover wrote: »

The thread is about how men and women are treated differently on teh bus. In this case both had a toddler and a baby and people only got up for the woman.

I must say people have been pretty good when i have the buggy. Although i do go as close as possible to them if they dont move and forget to put on the brake. Its terrible how they get hit when the bus starts moving.