Still shook up after a nightmare a week ago.

I rarely have nightmares but in my life, I've had 4 specific ones that I can remember where I've died in a lot of detail.

The one from last week though was way worse because the dream was set in a hospital, and I was so sick and dying that I was begging to be let die. And when I started to die, I felt like I was half way there, but then death started slipping away.

A few seconds later, I realised I was awake but was incredibly upset that I hadn't managed to die. That whole day felt weird and the person I was in the dream hasn't really left me since or something.

It's just been a weird week with this nagging feeling that I woke up unhappy that I was alive.

I'm sure it'll pass. I just had to write it down.

Whispered

Have you been under a lot of stress lately. It sounds oddly like a panic attack I had where I was convinced I was about to die, to the point I could "feel" my death happening while being aware that it wasn't actually happening. I can still remember details such as how it "felt" for my wrists to shatter in the impact, an impact that didn't really happen.

I was in a daze for hours after, feeling like I shouldn't be alive, sure hadn't I died. All the while my logical brain was telling me to cop on, while something inside me shouted that I had just died. If someone told me that there were alternate realities and I died in one of them and somehow felt the impact here I probably wouldn't have been too hard to convince at the time. It felt so real. It still feels surreal to think about at this was years ago.

Anyway my point; panic attack brought on by a phobia, anxiety and a week of drinking heavily caused me to feel similarly to what you're describing. Could you be under a lot of stress, worrying about something, any major life changes?

Thanks for the reply.

Yeah, I've been dealing with a severe amount of stress for around a year and a half, because of various things (mostly my and my girlfriend's health problems). Ironically, some of that stress got "solved" on Saturday during a business meeting and instead of happiness, I've had severe anxiety and panic.

I'm just my own worst enemy and I'm drinking myself into a stupor since that meeting in an effort to not think about it. It's a dream come through and I'm filled with terror at losing it. I haven't been sober in like 50 hours or something and I'm just listening to music as loud as possible so I can't think about stuff.


Everything is a mess, though on paper's it's all good. I'm being offered five figures a month for my work and it's killing me.

Whispered

It's very likely to be anxiety then. And I don't need to tell you that drinking will absolutely make that anxiety worse.

fear of loosing something good is a very natural reaction. Anxiety about it is normal too. It does sound like you're letting yourself sink into the anxiety now that you can let go a bit. Think about it, if you've been fighting various stressors for a while, now is the first chance you've had to relax about something. It's like someone who handles crisis well then breaks down after.

I don't want to advise you on how to handle anxiety, it's different for everyone. Maybe even recognising it for what it is will help.

Look after yourself and enjoy the good that's coming to you. It sounds like you deserve it!