Second time round?

bigsheep1

Hi all,

Recently I have been thinking a lot about an ex. It has been around 4/5 years since we broke up. I took it hard, was depressed as it had been my "first love" and was totally blindsided by him ending it. For a few months after the break-up, I would see him out and about in social circles infrequently and we slept together a few times in the few months after breaking up.

I moved away with work soon after so didn't see him much. I didn't date anyone else seriously until about three years after because my heart wasn't in it, and I was focussed on new job etc. I did then date someone for a year or so, ending when I moved to the US with work. In the past few years I have gotten over him, but have never found someone that I want to be with like him. I've been told that I am a good-looking girl with a lot to offer, and people are surprised when they hear I am single.

I have heard from mutual acquaintances throughout the years that he still asks after me and is interested to know am I home for Xmas etc but we haven't seen each other in years. I heard recently that he had seen me somewhere but didn't have the nerve to come over. Since then I have been thinking a lot about him, and wondering if life is too short not to see if there is any feelings still there. In the years that we have been apart, he hasn't had anything long term. I'm not naive, and he did treat me badly before but I am wondering if I should contact him and see. I know well that he might not have thought of me since we broke up but wondering if any one else has given things another shot second time round? Thanks!

justfillmein

I know how you're feeling now.
I seen my ex two weeks ago after being finished a long time. while I have zero romantic feelings for him anymore, I have been thinking about him, and all the good parts since.
I was thinking how I would love to meet up with him as friends. just for a chat, to sit with someone who I really get on with. we were great together on a personality level.
not many people seem to 'get me', and he was able to read me like a book. he is the only ex that I the slightest bit of interest in.

in saying that, it didn't end too well either. he didn't treat me bad, but he let me down a lot, and for that reason, I know it wouldn't be a good idea to have any kind of contact with him again.

I'm sure lots of people think of a particular ex like this, until they eventually meet someone else who they gel with. your time will come again:)

I'd rather stay single and hopeful, than go over old ground again. ex's are best left in the past I think.

Arrival

justfillmein wrote: »

I know how you're feeling now.
I seen my ex two weeks ago after being finished a long time. while I have zero romantic feelings for him anymore, I have been thinking about him, and all the good parts since.
I was thinking how I would love to meet up with him as friends. just for a chat, to sit with someone who I really get on with. we were great together on a personality level.
not many people seem to 'get me', and he was able to read me like a book. he is the only ex that I the slightest bit of interest in.

in saying that, it didn't end too well either. he didn't treat me bad, but he let me down a lot, and for that reason, I know it wouldn't be a good idea to have any kind of contact with him again.

I'm sure lots of people think of a particular ex like this, until they eventually meet someone else who they gel with. your time will come again:)

I'd rather stay single and hopeful, than go over old ground again. ex's are best left in the past I think.

My ex's Grandparents broke up for 4 or 5 years when they were young. When they got back together again they married shortly afterwards and have been inseparable ever since. They're in their eighties now and you should see how they are together, they're an inspiring couple and even though I never see them anymore due to my relationship ending with their granddaughter I still think about how happy they were which made me happy being around them. It's not black and white, as you imply. Maybe for relationships that ended due to abuse and cheating and such, but many highly compatible couples break up due to issues that could be resolved with some work on their communication skills but unfortunately many people don't seem comfortable with having to work hard for things these days, even things as important as potentially lifelong relationships

justfillmein

oh i'm sure it has worked out in some cases.
but nowadays relationships are very disposable I think.
for many, there doesn't seem to be as much effort into making them work in the first place.

I'm a trier, even when it's probably not the best relationship. I think once you start something, you should work on it. although once I feel I've said enough times what I'm not happy with, and it falling on deaf ears, I'm done!
there's no going back for me