Marriage Counselling

T1986 · 14-04-2018 8:08pm #1

Has anyone here benefited from marriage counselling? Husband has told me he is unhappy with our relationship & thinks we should try it. I didn't realise he felt things were so bad. I knew we weren't communicating well with a while & we have both been busy & have 2 children. Things have just come to a head recently.

Sardonicat · 14-04-2018 8:25pm

What have you got to lose by trying it?

T1986 · 14-04-2018 8:34pm

Nothing at all. And everything to gain. I was just wondering if anyone had experience of it.

justfillmein · 14-04-2018 11:31pm

sorry to hear that you are at this point T1986.
I have two friends in the same boat, only for both their husbands laughed at the idea of counselling:(

at least your husband is willing to try and work with you on your marriage.

I've no experience myself with marriage counselling, but I'd imagine that at least if things can't get back on track, the counselling might help with clearing up what went wrong within the marriage.

fingers crossed anyway that it's just a little hiccup.
good luck with the counselling:)

LegacyUser · 15-04-2018 7:55am

Yes, I've been to marriage counseling and it was hugely beneficial. I was the one who suggested it to my husband and he felt similarly to you (is it that bad that we need it??). But we both got a lot out of it. Good luck.

LegacyUser · 16-04-2018 8:49am

Counselling saved my marriage.
We were in a terrible place, and the position had been growing worse for a long time.

We started on a weekly basis for about 6 weeks.
Now we're out to a "catch-up" session every three months.
Communication is key, along with making time for each other.

If you're both committed to the process it works.

I would highly recommend giving it a shot.
As Sardonicat said above....what have you got to lose?

Best of luck OP.....I genuinely hope you can get things back on track

T1986 · 16-04-2018 4:06pm

Thank you all so much for your comments, they are really reasuring & its comforting to know that we are not the only ones. We are looking into Accord & just waiting to hear back about booking our first appointment.

Dial Hard · 16-04-2018 4:27pm

T1986 wrote: »

We are looking into Accord & just waiting to hear back about booking our first appointment.

If possible I'd try and go with a non-religious organisation. Accord are affiliated to the Catholic church and will be informed by a Catholic ethos.

endacl · 16-04-2018 4:30pm

Hugely beneficial. If you'd like a recommendation, and if it's not crossing any forum charter lines, I'd be happy to pass on the name of an excellent therapist by pm. I'll wait for a mod to clear first though.

julyjane · 16-04-2018 4:32pm

If you're looking for a reliable counsellor with proper accreditation and qualifications look on www.iacp.ie

You can do a search using your county and "marriage/relationship" or couples. It may not be the cheapest counsellor available but IMO you get what you pay for and a few hundred spent on quality counselling now is a worthwhile investment

woodchuck · 16-04-2018 5:00pm

Dial Hard wrote: »

If possible I'd try and go with a non-religious organisation. Accord are affiliated to the Catholic church and will be informed by a Catholic ethos.

I used Accord for couples counselling before and there were no religious undertones. And we were an unwed couple living in sin :P

The relationship didn't work out despite counselling, however I knew my partner had already given up on us. In order for counselling to help, both people need to be willing to work on the relationship. Luckily that sounds like it is the case for you OP, so I wish you the best of luck.

Dial Hard · 16-04-2018 7:01pm

woodchuck wrote:

I used Accord for couples counselling before and there were no religious undertones. And we were an unwed couple living in sin

I've also been to Accord counselling and honestly, they were worse than useless.

qwerty13 · 17-04-2018 6:49am

Dial Hard wrote: »

T1986 wrote: »

We are looking into Accord & just waiting to hear back about booking our first appointment.

If possible I'd try and go with a non-religious organisation. Accord are affiliated to the Catholic church and will be informed by a Catholic ethos.

Be very careful about this OP. Accord are linked with the Catholic Church, and as such will tend towards ‘saving the marriage’ above all else. I think it’s very important to go to a counseling service without a pre-set agenda.

Wanderer78 · 17-04-2018 6:52am

I would also recommend a non religious affiliated service, your GP might be able to advise, I've availed of one to one counseling services and had very positive results. Best of luck

Ditto23 · 17-04-2018 5:03pm

Hi Just been through 7 weeks of counselling with Accord and unfortuntely I have to say it was of no use to us as a couple as my wife only wanted to use it to say good bye in a neutral environment. As others have said both sides need to be open and committed to making the process work , if they are then with the help of a trained counsellor I have no doubt good things can come out of the process. I disagree with qwerty 13 Accord certainly did not impose any catholic values on our sessions and I would have been delighted if they had tried to save my marriage above all else. If anything they tried to facilitate my understanding of my wifes decision and set out and discussed the options available from here on all of which are pretty sh1t to be honest but I found them ( Accord ) and the process very fair and good but alas it did not benefit us in the way I had hoped

Xterminator · 18-04-2018 11:27am

Dial Hard wrote: »

If possible I'd try and go with a non-religious organisation. Accord are affiliated to the Catholic church and will be informed by a Catholic ethos.

My experience of accord was a positive one. It possible to be both catholic and a decent counsellor.

I wonder if the poster had a bad expereince or is making assumptions? I think accoes have a wide network, and are going to be closer to some people and have decent availability.

Dial Hard · 18-04-2018 11:38am

Xterminator wrote: »

My experience of accord was a positive one. It possible to be both catholic and a decent counsellor.

I wonder if the poster had a bad expereince or is making assumptions? I think accoes have a wide network, and are going to be closer to some people and have decent availability.

As I clarified in a later post, I've been to Accord for marriage counselling and found them useless. It's possible we just got a poor counsellor, but that was my experience of them.

And I don't dispute that it's possible to be a Catholic and a good counsellor, I just don't think the Church should really have any skin in this game. Obviously that's a personal opinion and for all we know the OP is a practising Catholic and might be perfectly happy to go to Accord.

Either way, I wish him the very best.

seachto7 · 18-04-2018 1:09pm

I've been to Accord and not once was there a feeling that a particular belief or solution was being pushed on us. (Both non religious people).
They're not going to provide a *solution* to your problems.

woodchuck · 18-04-2018 1:28pm

Dial Hard wrote: »

As I clarified in a later post, I've been to Accord for marriage counselling and found them useless. It's possible we just got a poor counsellor, but that was my experience of them.

And I don't dispute that it's possible to be a Catholic and a good counsellor, I just don't think the Church should really have any skin in this game. Obviously that's a personal opinion and for all we know the OP is a practising Catholic and might be perfectly happy to go to Accord.

Either way, I wish him the very best.

I agree that religion shouldn't come into the equation when it comes to counselling. But like others here, my experience with Accord was positive and not religious in the slightest.

Maybe it would be helpful to clarify why you found them useless? Was the Church brought up in your sessions?

Marriage Counselling

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