Feeling very low

Redderthanever

Hi guys, I'm sorry if this post is a bit of a downer but I'm in a bad place and wondering how to get past it. I want to escape from this feeling of complete sadness and apathy, I just feel blackness at the moment. I feel like I'm trapped, going no where fast. I look around at people I know, friends and they're all progressing in life, buying houses, starting careers, making something of themselves and I'm not. I'm 30, living at home, on the dole, not working and I feel like the biggest failure and embarrassment. I'm isolating myself from so many people because I really can't bear them seeing how pathetic I am: A few friends were home for Easter and I didn't get in contact, I feel so embarrassed and ashamed about my life that I couldn't, which makes me feel even lonelier than before. A self of perpetuating cycle of sadness.

I can't bear feeling like a victim, seen as someone who can never seem to get their **** together, constantly feeling lost.. Because that's what I'm seen as. Constantly looking to people for advice and guidance, friends try to do their best but there's only so much you can help a friend while trying to live your own life.

I was seeing someone up until relatively recently and it ended, I felt I had nothing to offer to be honest. Past ex's have moved on with new partners and I feel I am left behind.

I know everyone goes through difficult periods in life, but they seem to be able to conquer it and thrive. I'm not thriving, I'm stagnant. It feels like I have nothing to live for anymore, I don't really see the point. I don't blame anyone for living their life and moving forward, I just wish I could so the same. I'm really scared. I'm really scared for the future it seems pretty hopeless. I'm in such a pit I don't know how to climb out of it. I don't see any way out. In the end, people move on with their lives, they get jobs, meet people they love.. Get engaged, all of the markers of life that people aspire to having.. I don't see any of those things for me. I don't see how any of those things could happen for me.

I'm sorry if this message feels so self endulgant but I'm just looking for some guidance. I've started attending councelling so hopefully that will be of some benefit. Has anyone been in a similar place, if so how did you crawl out of it?

Airyfairy12

Stop comparing your life to other peoples. Maybe a break from social media would be good for you?

Its great that youre in counselling, this is a really good step in the right direction which will help you deal with your depression. I was long term unemployed while also living ruraly with no transport, to say I was depressed is an understatement, looking back I dont know how I managed to stick it through those years, feeling like a complete waster, life slipping by and people can be very judgmental, especially if you tell them youre on the dole. When youre in the thick of it you see no light at the end of the tunnel but if you keep pushing it does eventually get better, save what you can every week and keep applying to jobs and courses, eventually an opportunity will arise.
Im interested to know whats blocking you from achieving your goals? You want to move out of your parents house, have a career and make your own money, so whats stopping you? Do you have health issues? lack of transportation? or a mental illness that prevents you from taking the steps to achieving these things? Could the barriers be broken down or solved in some way?

Some more information on your situation would be helpful.

Dog walker 1234

Hi OP,
You are mildly depressed. Have you been to your GP for help? It is good that you are attending counselling as this will help you to discover the root cause of your unhappiness and give you insight into how to you can regain control of your situation. As this is happening you need to take steps to help the counselling by

1. Exercise. There are big benefits by a rapid daily walk of 30 minutes. This will give you a natural lift in mood.
2. You need to decide where you want your life to go. Write it down, then break the 2 main goals down into a series of smaller and smaller steps. Decide to do something to change. Then make a plan. As you succeed you can tackle other goals.
3. Diet. Try to eat a decent diet, junk food will not help to lift your mood.
4. Socialise. You need to maintain friendships. Isolation will only cause you to become more depressed and negative. Try to get out and about.

Hope this helps. Best of luck.