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Father and his family have committed fraud for over a decade now?

  • 09-04-2018 3:30pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2


    This is long but I have condensed it as much as possible. It is a stressful situation that has gone on for over a decade, so please hear me out. I desperately need advice on how to stop the double standards that have been occurring.


    My father and mother separated 6 years ago. When I was 13, he was diagnosed with bipolar II, since then my siblings and I witnessed many of his psychotic episodes, and breakdowns, which was extremely disturbing, he also became abusive. His family ostracized us while he was living here, but kept communicating with my father. Four years after this,( 6 years ago) none of us could handle it anymore, my mother separated from him, he moved out of the house, and lived in an apartment.


    My two sisters decided to stay away from him, and repair their lives as much as possible, my brother and I still had sympathy for his diagnosis, and went to see him every now and again. We didn't think he had anything to do with us being ostracized at the time.


    Over a year ago I decided to go visit my grandfather, now that he was in a nursing home and had alzheimers, I felt it was the right thing to do. I wanted prove to myself that he didn't purposely ostracize me and that none of this was my fault. He welcomed my visits and was nothing but nice to me, my father refused to ever visit him with me. He was very happy when my mom came to visit him once with me, I wondered why he hadn't spoken in so many years to us.



    A few days later my mom gets a solicitors letter stating that my grandmother is the executor of the will, my aunt is the co-executor. It said my mother better stay away from my grandfather, because he was distressed for days after her visit, ( this was complete crap by the way). She did and after this I went fishing for answers. I asked him about my aunts husband, who always went over to visit him about four days a week, strangely they didn't have a close relationship. He told me the marriage of my aunt and her husband is an arrangement, that he was terrified of him, that he holds the key to everything, he showed the face he puts on when he visits to show no fear towards him. He told me it was dangerous for me to get involved in any of this, he said he no longer has a cent to his name, and has no idea what they are doing with it. I rang elder abuse and they said they could help him if he agreed to meet them, he refused.


    Since he passed away, my mom or siblings weren't told about the funeral, just like we weren't told about other funerals we would have liked to go to. My father told us he was respecting his families wishes. Since then my father has refused to speak to any of us, he has put divorce papers through without talking or letting anyone know, we have the house up for sale with a very high mortgage because he kept remortgaging it when he took out hundreds of thousands worth of loans that he was never able to repay, he is going to take 50% of whatever profit there is after the high mortgage. He told my mother if she wants to keep the hosue she lived in for 20 years she can pay the mortgage, she has no way of doing this, yet his family refuse to pay his debt, even though they fund my aunt her husbands and cousins lifestyle, they bought them a large house, put money into my aunts husbands business and they brashly post photos on social media of themselves living the life of riley, meanwhile we are about to lose our home of 20 years.


    I asked my grandmother for help through text, she blocked me. I also contacted my cousins through facebook messenger after a decade asking the why we have been ostracized, they ignored me. They have been leaving us out in the cold while they live it up with my grandfathers money. My mom said this is now when they want to properly secure the will, that is why the divorce is going through, and why your father is refusing to speak to any of his kids. It seems the most likely thing is that they got my grandfather to sign everything over to them under duress and need to ostracize us so we do not figure out what is going on. we just want to keep our home, and get to the bottom of what on earth is going on. We went to a solicitor to ask about this, he said that as much as what is happening is immoral it is not illegal. Apparently we have no entitlement to see the will only the executor and co executor, and because we have clearly been taken out of it also. They have not put it through probate, as they are waiting for the divorce to go through it seems, before they make it public.


    Is there anything you can recommend to do? this is causing a huge amount of stress. Going through emotional and financial hardship for years, being ostracized by my father and his family. About to lose our home, with a tiny amount of profit. Meanwhile there is money being hidden from us on my fathers side of the family, that they refuse to help us with. It needs to come to and end. My mother, my siblings and I have been through enough, we can't allow this to occur anymore.

    Is there any legal action we can take?

    Thank you for reading this, I do appreciate it very much.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,323 ✭✭✭davo2001


    As your solicitor said:

    "what is happening is immoral it is not illegal"

    I doubt there is much you can do.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,576 ✭✭✭Glass fused light



    he has put divorce papers through without talking or letting anyone know, we have the house up for sale with a very high mortgage because he kept remortgaging

    Is there any legal action we can take?

    Thank you for reading this, I do appreciate it very much.

    Your mother needs legal representation for the divorce proceedings

    Your Dad's family do not owe you nor your mother any financial support, that was and remains your Dad "responsibility" eg child support and loan repayments.

    If your grandfather had a will and this has gone through probate it will be a matter of public record. But it is likely that your mother or you are included? Your father could claim if 'left out' of the will but even if he succeeds he is the one gaining. The other family stuff is 'background noise' which will distract your mothers focus from the legal issues arising from loans and the divorce proceedings.

    If she a co-owner of the house and/or is currently living there and has not signed any documents for the remortgage the bank may have a problem in recovering the monies loaned. But as the house is currently up for sale they will look to recover their money and as they (should) have a charge against the title the buyers solicitor will not allow the closing without this being resolved.
    If she has signed any documents, it probably a joint mortgage agreement, if so she owes the bank 100% of the monies outstanding.

    She needs legal representation for the settlement of jointly held debts, to facilitate the divorce and division of any assets (if any remain). The settlement of joint debts is easier done when your parents are 'cash rich' from the proceeds of the house sale.

    Edit if your father has been included in the will and has filed any financial statements with the court, a solicitor can advise your mother on the best structure for the financial settlement as it may be possible to revisited this once the probate is resolved. But be realistic about the current advice your solicitor has to offer, and don't expect that any money will be forthcoming.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,769 ✭✭✭nuac


    Closed for mod review


This discussion has been closed.
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