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First date

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  • 08-04-2018 10:17pm
    #1
    username82
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭


    Well, Hello everyone. First time poster.

    I guess I will get right to it. I am 35 recently have come out to some friends. And have decided to start getting out and about. I am a quite guy who enjoys my own company but also want to meet new people and go on dates. I live rural enough, not in the middle of nowhere but not a lot of options around. I have a car as i work in Galway city so meeting up wouldn't be an issue.

    Been talking to a few guys on tinder and I would love to be able to meet up for a drink or a chat or something but as I said I am a quiet person not always confident enough to make the first move to arrange or set up a date.

    I guess I am just looking for advice on what would be a good idea for a first date and how to go about it. I can be very shy at first and it can be awkward and annoying for some people. I am no means very quite but just making small talk at the start can be painful.

    Thanks for any advice you can offer.


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    #2
    Maz2016
    Registered Users Posts: 1,104 ✭✭✭Maz2016


    Hey op. Sounds like you were writing about me - very similar. I think once your honest , maybe say it to the person before you meet. Then they will know it’s not because your not interested. Just be yourself. If limerick wasn’t too far , I could meet you for a beer as a practice run for you Good luck


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    #3
    AustinLostin
    Registered Users Posts: 181 ✭✭AustinLostin


    I can only speak for what worked for me as a very nervous first dater a few years ago.

    I planned dates on weeknights or say early in the weekend afternoons. This gave me an excuse to head away if i felt it wasn't going well (work the next morning or plans for weekend night) - but really it was because I felt that I wouldn't be able to sustain that opening conversation for more than an hour or two. If we got on then I was way more comfortable to meet on a Friday or Saturday for some drinks.

    Nothing is really going to calm your nerves that much, everyone is nervous on a first date, but I can almost guarantee you you will be happy you did it, even if the date goes good or bad. The conversation (for me anyway) was never as awkward or bad as I pictured in my head.

    Really hoping it all goes well for you though!!


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    #4
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    AustinLostin wrote: »

    I planned dates on weeknights or say early in the weekend afternoons. This gave me an excuse to head away if i felt it wasn't going well (work the next morning or plans for weekend night)

    Agree with this tactic. Never do a dinner first date. If you and your date don't click, then an hour or so over a 3 course meal is gonna be hell.

    My last first date was spectacularly awful. Only upside is that I had arranged it for an early Sunday coffee. The guy traveled all the way from Laois and before we even entered the cafe, just seeing him walking up the street - his dress sense and body language - well, I already knew it was a no-go. So a quick coffee and a stifled chat about the weather and I made my excuses. Long drive back to Laois for him. I felt kinda bad he came all the way to Galway for a taste of rejection... but, Jesus it was awkward. I even did the whole "help!" text to a friend.


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    #5
    CreativeSen
    Registered Users Posts: 90 ✭✭CreativeSen


    How to go about it, you are both on Tinder, you are both there for at least one of two things, hook ups or dates. It is totally acceptable to ask someone you are chatting to on Tinder to meet up. So dont be shy or nervous about doing that.

    As for what to do to take the pressure off, weeknights and early weekend is great advice. I lived abroad for a while and they had a concept of "lunch time dates" during the work week. Head off at lunch break for a quick coffee and sandwich with someone and you are both under legitimate time constraints.

    Also, not everybody is Casanova, you are nervous, shy and lacking a certain amount of confidence, SO IS EVERYBODY ELSE. Chances are, the other guy is going through the exact same emotional roller coaster. So before you meet him realize all the things you have in common:
    - both looking to meet someone
    - both on tinder
    - both are more than likely nervous
    - both want to have a good time

    Build on all of that and enjoy the experience!


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    #6
    username82
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭username82


    Hey, Thanks everyone for the messages. I am very grateful for all the help and advice

    I will just be up front from the start and say I can be quite at the beginning. I also will try the mid week date and early on the weekends.

    If I go on any dates I will update ye :)


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