Hiding from family member

LegacyUser

Hi

I am a student in university living in on campus accommodation.

I have a family member who is trying to contact me and I do NOT want them too. I am very worried that they will contact the student accommodations at my college and try to find out where I am living/what student village (I don't think I am over reacting, there is a very strong chance they will have the idea to do this because they know what college I am in). If they find out they will show up.

Can I go to the reception where I live and tell them to not talk to this person? I am embarrassed beyond belief about it, but it's very common that student's parents etc. sort things out/pay bills for their child by ringing reception and this person would be 'normal' enough on the phone to be able to pass off as a parent etc so I am sick every day that this will happen. It is all so relaxed and I just don't think the receptionists would even think 'oh maybe I shouldn't say that she lives here'. Am I allowed to do this or do I need to go to the guards and get permission to keep this person away from me before reception would be able to listen to me? They have never physically attacked me and from what I've read online there is just no chance of me getting a restraining order or anything like that. What do I say to the reception because I don't want to give details of the person really? Thanks

LegacyUser

I'm sorry to hear about this stressful situation.

First of all, you should not be embarrassed.

Secondly, I would definitely contact reception and probably management too and indeed the relevant office in the university. As an adult, no one but you is entitled to your personal information (which if course includes where you live). You are correct though that sometimes people can be lax about this sort of thing but once alerted to a potential issue people are generally very considerate.

I would explain that there is a person who you do not wish to have contact with and who you expect may attempt to blag information about you from the reception/uni office etc. Explain that this is a real fear for you (you do not have to provide any information) and you just want to warn them that this individual is not above shady tactics to access information about you. They will most likely reply by saying they would never share the personal information of students/residents but raising this as an issue makes it much more likely the staff on the ground won't be fooled by this individual.

I think it would be worth sending this by email [something in print can make sure it is kept on the record] as well as mentioning it in person/over the phone. So long as you explain this is a genuine request you should have no problems whatsoever.

Best of luck

wiggle16

Hi OP

Just go to the reception/accommodation services and tell them that an individual has been harrassing you, and that if anyone contacts them looking for your address or asking if you live on-campus, not to give them that info.

Essentially you'll be asking them not to confirm your address to anyone who might ask them, considering that this individual might well lie about who they are or why they are asking.

Generally speaking, having worked for a university, they would not give out that information anyway - addresses aren't generally covered by data protection law but most institutions treat them as if they are for the sake of protecting the privacy of their service-users. But there is no harm asking accommodation not to give out your address, and no, you are not doing anything improper by asking them - you will certainly not have been the first person to make such a request, trust me.

Purple Mountain

I would add to book an appointment with the college counsellor too if you feel you want to talk about what's bothering you in a safe and confidential space.

ironwalk

Ah here- you don't need that stress.
Go to reception- as PP says, you won't be the first or last to make that request.

Then, go get some advice in the student support service.

never_mind

If it’s a very close family member (dad/mum) it’s possible that they might give them the address but might not. Talk to The accommodation officer discretely about it and they will have it flagged on their system.

MissShihTzu

I would drop them an e-mail to follow up, after calling in to the reception. Have them confirm back to you in writing that your wish not to have your address confirmed will be respected.

Good luck!

El Weirdo

ironwalk wrote: »

... you won't be the first or last to make that request.

I used to work in student accommodation. Can confirm.

ladygirl

Hi OP

I work in a student accommodation complex and my advise to you is talk to the people in the office. We are here to help you in any way. I have had instances like this in the past and all I would do is inform the person calling that due to data protection we are unable to confirm the name of any person living there.

EmmaH1997

Hi OP - this sounds like an awful situation I think you're right to discuss this with the office. Like you said, they otherwise easily could inform this person of your address without prior knowledge of these people being unwanted at best and weirdos at worst. I think it maybe feel like an awks convo for you but this is not an uncommon situation for a senior member at the office. Good luck!

Jane1012

Another option is to change you address back to family home and then you will be sure your current student address could not be given out mistakenly (presuming this person already knows that address)