Kids at wedding

hufpc8w3adnk65

Hi all. There will be a few kids at our wedding. I’m looking at maybe hiring an entertainer or someone to come and play with the children in the room next to the Reception room in the evening. Has anyone done this before? Any recommendations or any ideas on it. ? Thanks in advance

Toots

Mod note:

Please keep replies on topic and helpful to the OP. This is not the place for a debate on having kids at weddings.

the_syco

What are the youngest and oldest, and what age group are most of the kids? This may allow people to give better answers.

hufpc8w3adnk65

There would only be 4/5 kids around 6 years old all of them

irishgirl19

I hired FUNtastic childcare events. Can highly recommend. They took kids into a separate room and gave them dinner and done games arts and crafts etc. Kids seemed to love it and was great for us. They took them for 3 hours just before the meal started.

Ghekko

Are the kids local to the venue? If so you could ask one of the parents if they have a regular babysitter who could come in to entertain them. Babysitter could do the arts and crafts, bring them in for a bit of the dancing and then maybe the hotel could provide a tv with DVD player for a movie. This was done at a wedding I attended. Bride and groom were parents to a couple of the kids and brought their regular babysitter.

Toots

Are you looking at having them in the separate room for the meal or would they go in after? We had a whole pile of kids at our wedding (ages ranged from about 8 months up to 15 years) and for anyone under about the age of 12, we got colouring books and crayons and put them on their place at the dinner table - sort of like a wedding favour - and they seemed to really enjoy them. For the entertainer, have you asked the hotel have they any recommendations? They might have had a similar set up before and could suggest someone suitable.

clint_silver

theres a few things that seem to work. If you can fit the table in the corner of the wedding room all the better. Bundles of crayons and coloring books, your local euro shop is your friend here.
ample supply of tablets, headphones, youtube and working wifi
a deck of cards. or 2.
jigsaw puzzles
A games console, someone always has one spare, ask the hotel if they have a spare tv to set up so you dont have to bring your own.

meeeeh

We had a child minder and she brought some stuff with her to entertain them. They were also at their own diner table. We had four kids, three grand and one who is complete nightmare.

jenjoeful

I've recently heard a horror story from a bride who had said she didn't want children at her wedding, for her bridesmaid to wreak havoc for the bride about it and it extended to other parts of their relationship and basicalldestroyeded it....(the bridesmaid had the same policy a year before for her own wedding, but since had a baby, who was over 1 at the time of the wedding, short memory eh?). 
The same bride had issues on her day of her wedding where parents just decided to bring them anyways, even though they weren't invited, and needless to say, they were crying throughout the ceremony, and the vows!!! 
How do you politely say no kids, invites? a wedding website? Just by excluding the names?
I'm due to get married next year and looking for ways to politely say this. I have nieces and nephews who will be flower  girls and page boys but I don't mind them, they are my own close family, I just don't want everyone elses....

clint_silver

jenjoeful wrote: »

I've recently heard a horror story from a bride who had said she didn't want children at her wedding, for her bridesmaid to wreak havoc for the bride about it and it extended to other parts of their relationship and basicalldestroyeded it....(the bridesmaid had the same policy a year before for her own wedding, but since had a baby, who was over 1 at the time of the wedding, short memory eh?). 
The same bride had issues on her day of her wedding where parents just decided to bring them anyways, even though they weren't invited, and needless to say, they were crying throughout the ceremony, and the vows!!! 
How do you politely say no kids, invites? a wedding website? Just by excluding the names?
I'm due to get married next year and looking for ways to politely say this. I have nieces and nephews who will be flower  girls and page boys but I don't mind them, they are my own close family, I just don't want everyone elses....

diplomatically if previous threads on here are anything to go by.

Parents see kids as extensions of themselves and cant see the issue but most are adult about it and will ask either yourselves or your parents.

Some people just can not get sitters, or there maybe an issue with a child being sick or whatever, but really want to go to the wedding, and you really want them to be there, do they not go? Can they organize a child minder for the hotel? Will that suffice?

jenjoeful

But if people can't get sitters, they shouldn't go, because it doesn't suit. A wedding is not a summons (despite what people say;)) it's an invitation which can be declined if for what ever reason you can't make it. I don't mind, but of course I'd like everyone to go. 
Well it's other limitations I have... 
Both myself and husband to be are the youngest of all of our first cousins, and we have 40 first cousins approx between us, most of which have children. All of our first cousins and their partners are invited. To open those floodgates (so to speak) to our first cousin's children (50ish kids if they all went!!!) would mean a huge increase in cost for us to begin with and secondly we're having about 170 guests and the room only caters for about 180. We don't even have room for any more than those we exclusively invite, so kids are just a no. Only named guests on the invite are included. 
If someone defies that and brings their little darling- well that will mean trouble for me and the groom because others could potentially kick off about it. If you don't have a sitter, it's ok to stay not attend, we'll understand!

meeeeh

jenjoeful wrote: »

The same bride had issues on her day of her wedding where parents just decided to bring them anyways, even though they weren't invited, and needless to say, they were crying throughout the ceremony, and the vows!!! 

Whatever about bringing kids to the dinner, kids acting up at the ceremony are just about only interesting thing going on. It's not like anyone is interested to listen to the vows.

As for reception I think just not mentioning kids on the invite is usually enough. Most people don't want to mind their own kids during the reception and with exception of mine or very close family weddings I have no desire bringing my own kids. Not everyone invited will come so you will have a few places spare if someone shows up with little darlings. There is no point stressing about it a year before wedding.

ec18

meeeeh wrote: »

Whatever about bringing kids to the dinner, kids acting up at the ceremony are just about only interesting thing going on. It's not like anyone is interested to listen to the vows.

While they may not want to listen to them, they are the central point of the day and it should be the couples decision whether they want to have kids and associated noises at the ceremony. Any other point of view is irrelevant as the ceremony is all about the couple

meeeeh

ec18 wrote: »

While they may not want to listen to them, they are the central point of the day and it should be the couples decision whether they want to have kids and associated noises at the ceremony. Any other point of view is irrelevant as the ceremony is all about the couple

And as far as I know wedding has to be in a venue open to public. Unless you want to put someone at the gate kicking out kids there is very little you can do. There is no perfect wedding, the less you bother about minor stuff more you will enjoy your day.

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SarahS2013

meeeeh wrote: »

And as far as I know wedding has to be in a venue open to public. Unless you want to put someone at the gate kicking out kids there is very little you can do. There is no perfect wedding, the less you bother about minor stuff more you will enjoy your day.

There's a big difference between a random child wandering into your public venue and having all of your guests kids there?!?!

meeeeh

SarahS2013 wrote: »

There's a big difference between a random child wandering into your public venue and having all of your guests kids there?!?!

And how many times you were at the wedding where all of the guests had kids there? I've been to the wedding where photographer annoyed everybody though.

SarahS2013

meeeeh wrote: »

And how many times you were at the wedding where all of the guests had kids there? I've been to the wedding where photographer annoyed everybody though.

First it's random wandering kids and now it's photographers. Some people just don't like kids at weddings, it's a personal choice. Personally if a kid howled their way through my ceremony/vows there would be steam coming out of my ears.

jenjoeful

SarahS2013 wrote: »

meeeeh wrote: »

And how many times you were at the wedding where all of the guests had kids there? I've been to the wedding where photographer annoyed everybody though.

First it's random wandering kids and now it's photographers. Some people just don't like kids at weddings, it's a personal choice. Personally if a kid howled their way through my ceremony/vows there would be steam coming out of my ears.

Agreed!!! There are people who are self-aware and careful about how they (and indeed their children) affect those around them, and there are some that don't! 
I'm guessing 'Meeeh' is one of those that are oblivious! 
I like the idea of sending the best man down and showing them to the nearest exit! Spot on! there is no excuse for children screaming and left to be screaming at a ceremony they shouldn't be at in the first place, parents take them out or be asked to take them out - i know i'd prefer not to be asked!! 
It doesn't mean we don't like children it just means they weren't invited and therefore shouldn't be there and their parents should be sensible enough to know that and leave them at home. if they can't find a babysitter, then they can't attend, it's rather simple!

meeeeh

SarahS2013 wrote: »

First it's random wandering kids and now it's photographers. Some people just don't like kids at weddings, it's a personal choice. Personally if a kid howled their way through my ceremony/vows there would be steam coming out of my ears.

It might a personal choice, you can do very little about it though unless you want to get a whole pile of more aggro. Or you could just invite people who don't have young kids.

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SarahS2013

meeeeh wrote: »

It might a personal choice, you can do very little about it though unless you want to get a whole pile of more aggro. Or you could just invite people who don't have young kids.

Or I make the personal choice not to invite their kids??!! Simple!

meeeeh

SarahS2013 wrote: »

Or I make the personal choice not to invite their kids??!! Simple!

I've been to plenty of weddings where kids were not invited but did come to the ceremony and then went home before the reception. I know that at ours there were at least 10 extra kids at the ceremony, personally I couldn't care less but don't think that because they are not invited they won't show up.

lazygal

meeeeh wrote: »

And as far as I know wedding has to be in a venue open to public. Unless you want to put someone at the gate kicking out kids there is very little you can do. There is no perfect wedding, the less you bother about minor stuff more you will enjoy your day.

We had a venue that didn't allow children there after 6pm. Our ceremony wasn't open to the public either as it wasn't the legal ceremony, we did it the week before. I've two children and one on the way and I've never brought them to a wedding. Nor did we want any at ours.

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meeeeh

jenjoeful wrote: »

Agreed!!! There are people who are self-aware and careful about how they (and indeed their children) affect those around them, and there are some that don't!
I'm guessing 'Meeeh' is one of those that are oblivious!
I like the idea of sending the best man down and showing them to the nearest exit! Spot on! there is no excuse for children screaming and left to be screaming at a ceremony they shouldn't be at in the first place, parents take them out or be asked to take them out - i know i'd prefer not to be asked!!
It doesn't mean we don't like children it just means they weren't invited and therefore shouldn't be there and their parents should be sensible enough to know that and leave them at home. if they can't find a babysitter, then they can't attend, it's rather simple!

I brought kids to three weddings. One was mine, the other one was my brother's, I was witness and my daughter was 8 weeks old at the time. The third wedding was my Sil's and they were part of bridal party and invited by her. I don't bring kids to weddings and if they are acting up as one of them did at Sil's wedding they are brought out, I spent most of that wedding outside with another couple and their crying baby. So you can stuff your assumptions somewhere. But I am easy going and in my opinion there is no point sweating about stuff you have no control over. I would be a lot more worried about the food, band and other stuff you actually have control over.

meeeeh

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Only an idiot would invite people they find stupid or rude. Why would you put that on yourself? to boost cash donations?

jenjoeful

Anyone ever creates a wedding website so they could kind of politely put some, lets say 'pointers' up about the day?
- no kids
- Do not put a video of the bride walking up the aisle, the couples vows and walking back down live on snapchat/insta/fb and have some respect, or anything else with the  bridal party?
You'd be shocked how many peoples weddings i've seen in real time, unknown to the bride and groom! horrific!

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SarahS2013

meeeeh wrote: »

I've been to plenty of weddings where kids were not invited but did come to the ceremony and then went home before the reception. I know that at ours there were at least 10 extra kids at the ceremony, personally I couldn't care less but don't think that because they are not invited they won't show up.

They'd have to sit on their @rses on the floor at my wedding - I've only ordered enough chairs for the guests who are ACTUALLY invited!! :D:D

meeeeh

....... wrote: »

If we all only got to invite lovely reasonable people to our weddings what a wonderful world it would be eh. I guess you are in that position given your last comment - lucky you.

We actually did only have people that we like.

SarahS2013

jenjoeful wrote: »

Anyone ever creates a wedding website so they could kind of politely put some, lets say 'pointers' up about the day?
- no kids
- Do not put a video of the bride walking up the aisle, the couples vows and walking back down live on snapchat/insta/fb and have some respect, or anything else with the  bridal party?
You'd be shocked how many peoples weddings i've seen in real time, unknown to the bride and groom! horrific!

I'm a little bit allergic to those wedding websites I prefer a good aul fashioned RSVP. Although I'm having a line on my RSVP card "Don't do stamps? Send a photo of your RSVP to XXXXXX@gmail.com"

The kids thing - I honestly don't think any of our friends are going to turn up with their kids.

And for the photos etc I'm putting a note in the ceremony booklet that we're having an "Unplugged Ceremony". Our photographer is thanking us for this as you'd be shocked at the amount of shots that end up ruined because of people sticking their smartphones into the aisle.....never to even look at the photo/video again! We'll also get our celebrant to highlight it at the start of the ceremony.

Call me Al

What ages are we talking? If you've small toddler type ages (as in less than 3) and you dont have an entertainer they most likely will need to be at the parents table. 5-9/10 age group likely won't mind an entertainer but older pre-teens will think it's a bit babyish if it's catering for the smallies.

Ps please don't put all of the kids at one table and expect the older children to mind the small ones. From experience it doesn't work and it isn't fair (on either the parents or the older children).

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splinter65

Eventually everyone will just get over themselves and the invite will say

RSVP BY JUNE 1st
Our wedding day is an adults only occasion!
We understand if, for this reason, you won’t be able to attend!
Thank you!

MattressRick

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You get a groomsman or bridesmaid to go directly to whoevers child is screaming in the church and ask them to take the child outside as its noise is drowning out the vows.

Most people are reasonably civilised and leave without being told but for those idiots who cant, get someone ready to tell them.

I don't think any groomsman would do that. If you walked down a packed church and leaned across 20 people and asked a mother to go outside with the child people would think you acted solo and were the biggest prick on the planet!

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SarahS2013

A death stare down from the bride should get the message across quite easily!