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My friend thinks she is going to live with her boyfriend in Abu Dhabi?

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  • 05-04-2018 2:06pm
    #1
    Kilduffyras1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 61 ✭✭


    Ok so I was talking to my friend who is 28 and her boyfriend the same, and she told me she is hoping to go to work in Abu Dhabi in September with her boyfriend. They are not married. They are both teachers and she told me they will be living together? And when I asked her if she was going to get married before she goes and she said no.
    Is this not illegal, and you can get in big trouble over it if she is caught? I asked her if she thinks she's gonna be living in the same way she lives in Ireland, be able to hold hands, kiss, live together, sleep in the same bed, have intercourse. And she said yeah why Not?
    Is she completely deluded because I think she is? I think she sees it as the same as Australia or something. I am just worried that she goes over and gets in big trouble. I don't think she realises what's illegal over there.


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    #2
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,076 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    It is possible to live together but not permitted so she would be doing it at their own risk- deportation and imprisonment. Same with public displays of affection.

    I would have thought accommodation comes with the job in which case they will definitely not be housed together. If the school is paying them an allowance and they are finding their own accommodation they can say they are married but I wouldn't risk it.

    Think she needs to do a bit of homework before she goes!


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    #3
    Flipperdipper
    Registered Users Posts: 180 ✭✭Flipperdipper


    I was going to say "Sure give it a lash" but on second thoughts maybe it's not the right phrase to use. ;):D


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    #4
    A Law
    Registered Users Posts: 878 ✭✭✭A Law


    Tell her to move in with her boyfriend and sublet her own flat out. More money for her.


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    #5
    judeboy101
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,246 ✭✭✭judeboy101


    Tell them to pretend they were married, give the arabs a phone number to confirm this, make sure phone number is of a friend in Ireland who can pretend they are a priest and confirm they were married in the eyes of God, not man.simples


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    #6
    hgfj
    Registered Users Posts: 252 ✭✭hgfj


    "confirm they were married in the eyes of God"

    Yes, but which god?


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    #7
    judeboy101
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,246 ✭✭✭judeboy101


    hgfj wrote: »
    "confirm they were married in the eyes of God"

    Yes, but which god?
    All of them :-)


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    #8
    Milly33
    Registered Users Posts: 8,638 ✭✭✭Milly33


    They would be getting into a wee bit of trouble if caught.. Tis done alright but like if they ever annoyed anyone out there, then twud be easier to get married


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    #9
    dizzymom
    Registered Users Posts: 94 ✭✭dizzymom


    judeboy101 wrote: »
    Tell them to pretend they were married, give the arabs a phone number to confirm this, make sure phone number is of a friend in Ireland who can pretend they are a priest and confirm they were married in the eyes of God, not man.simples


    You are better off being married in an Arab country
    I lived 12 years in total in the Middle East
    Public displays of affection are frowned upon, drunken expats are not tolerated. You could get away with living together but is it worth the risk of losing your savings your job and being deported


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    #10
    Plague Maiden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 118 ✭✭Plague Maiden


    What's the positives of living in a country like that? That's not a deliberately cynical question by the way. I'm genuinely curious. I just cannot imagine living in a country where what I consider to be basic freedoms are not allowed. Then again I've never been there.


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    #11
    Jack Kanoff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,119 ✭✭✭Jack Kanoff


    Plague Maiden wrote: »
    What's the positives of living in a country like that? That's not a deliberately cynical question by the way. I'm genuinely curious. I just cannot imagine living in a country where what I consider to be basic freedoms are not allowed. Then again I've never been there.

    Sun and money


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    #12
    dizzymom
    Registered Users Posts: 94 ✭✭dizzymom


    You get tax free money that’s the biggest draw for the UAE, teachers get accommodation - flights - free healthcare- the class sizes are generally smaller too
    It’s blue sky every day - you barely need a light cardigan - the beach is nice - food & service in restaurants is great - the place is spotless - I could go on ..
    These are the positives - the negatives are the country is conservative - they do not tolerate drink driving or living with someone if you are not married - the summers are vvv hot - over 40c


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    #13
    Wanderer78
    Registered Users Posts: 28,810 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    I know a couple living there a few years, ones a teacher, they're actually getting married soon. They'll be fine, as long as they lie, and lie good, and if you think there's little or no alcohol in these countries, you d be well deluded, i.e. just lie like the locals though. Living in such countries requires change though, changing approach and perceptions of life, respect is key. It should be an exciting adventure for them, and if it doesn't work out for them, so what, move on


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    #14
    kerry4sam
    Registered Users Posts: 15,127 ✭✭✭✭kerry4sam


    Thread moved to where it would be better suited.

    Thanks,
    kerry4sam


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    #15
    HonalD
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭HonalD


    Plague Maiden wrote: »
    What's the positives of living in a country like that? That's not a deliberately cynical question by the way. I'm genuinely curious. I just cannot imagine living in a country where what I consider to be basic freedoms are not allowed. Then again I've never been there.
    If you are interested in learning a different culture and understanding how other humans live their lives in a completely different way to what you are used to, then it's an amazing experience. If you're not interested in learning, or even respecting a totally different culture then stay where you are.


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    #16
    893bet
    Registered Users Posts: 8,758 ✭✭✭893bet


    HonalD wrote: »
    If you are interested in learning a different culture and understanding how other humans live their lives in a completely different way to what you are used to, then it's an amazing experience. If you're not interested in learning, or even respecting a totally different culture then stay where you are.

    Oh the high horse.

    I am not interested in their backward hypocritical culture either. They can keep it. Not to mention the slavery that is used to actually build the place.


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    #17
    listermint
    Registered Users Posts: 33,655 ✭✭✭✭listermint


    HonalD wrote: »
    If you are interested in learning a different culture and understanding how other humans live their lives in a completely different way to what you are used to, then it's an amazing experience. If you're not interested in learning, or even respecting a totally different culture then stay where you are.

    Deluded statement, even the locals aren't interested in learning their culture it's a fascade built for the wealthy to retain a modicum of control same folks whom exit the place en masse during Ramadan to live it up elsewhere like London.

    A fascade not real. So don't give people lectures about being ignorant of middle Eastern culture that place isn't it , it's a construct.


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    #18
    Sir_Name
    Registered Users Posts: 792 ✭✭✭Sir_Name


    I currently live in Abu Dhabi, and while it is different to home I don't behave much different here to how I would in Ireland.
    Just a few points:
    -while it is illegal for non married people to live together, I know numerous couples that do. It is just not advertised. Locals are quite tolerant and as long as you are not flaunting any non acceptable behavior then they leave you at it. For couples, yes you can hold hands, or a peck on the cheek again I wouldn't be doing it right in front of their face numerous times! There are more westernised areas where things are little more laid back but I wouldnt be all over my boyf at home either!
    -The social scene is big over here with brunches and free flow drinks and I have seen people falling about all over the place. These are contained in hotels and bars and you wouldn't see someone falling around walking down the street. Straight into the taxi and then home. Anything else and yes you could get into trouble.
    -I would never lie and say you are married. They require attestation of all legal docs and believe me they will check it out. So, she needs to ensure she has a job before she goes over ideally. You can do visa runs however.
    -Don't rent the second apartment out - that will only draw attention. If at all possible try and take the second housing allowance as cash.


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    #19
    seachto7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,863 ✭✭✭seachto7


    HonalD wrote: »
    If you are interested in learning a different culture and understanding how other humans live their lives in a completely different way to what you are used to, then it's an amazing experience. If you're not interested in learning, or even respecting a totally different culture then stay where you are.

    If the money wasn't so good, do you think Irish people would be bothered going there?
    I have yet to meet an Irish person who has been there who has adopted the "culture" or learned the language.
    If a culture of shopping centres and 6 star hotels is supposed to be impressive, they can keep it...


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    #20
    irishman86
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,814 ✭✭✭irishman86


    seachto7 wrote: »
    If the money wasn't so good, do you think Irish people would be bothered going there?
    I have yet to meet an Irish person who has been there who has adopted the "culture" or learned the language.
    If a culture of shopping centres and 6 star hotels is supposed to be impressive, they can keep it...

    Yes why wouldnt they
    I would love to do a spell in the middle east
    Pretty ignorant to think everyone revolves around money


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    #21
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,076 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    Deanov wrote: »
    -The social scene is big over here with brunches and free flow drinks and I have seen people falling about all over the place. .

    Oh how I miss those bottomless brunches :)


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    #22
    HonalD
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭HonalD


    893bet wrote: »
    HonalD wrote: »
    If you are interested in learning a different culture and understanding how other humans live their lives in a completely different way to what you are used to, then it's an amazing experience. If you're not interested in learning, or even respecting a totally different culture then stay where you are.

    Oh the high horse.

    I am not interested in their backward hypocritical culture either. They can keep it. Not to mention the slavery that is used to actually build the place.

    On your first point, not all all. On your second, that’s your opinion and validates my comment.


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    #23
    HonalD
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭HonalD


    listermint wrote: »
    HonalD wrote: »
    If you are interested in learning a different culture and understanding how other humans live their lives in a completely different way to what you are used to, then it's an amazing experience. If you're not interested in learning, or even respecting a totally different culture then stay where you are.

    Deluded statement, even the locals aren't interested in learning their culture it's a fascade built for the wealthy to retain a modicum of control same folks whom exit the place en masse during Ramadan to live it up elsewhere like London.

    A fascade not real. So don't give people lectures about being ignorant of middle Eastern culture that place isn't it , it's a construct.

    I’m not lecturing anybody just outlining that there’s an opportunity to learn about Arab culture, if that’s what someone is interested in.


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    #24
    Milly33
    Registered Users Posts: 8,638 ✭✭✭Milly33


    It is a great experience, and have to say you learn a lot of respect for people and things.. People have this horrible attitude towards the Arabs and Indians and it is disgusting to see, nothing like a kick up the arse to show you what a privileged life we live.


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    #25
    HonalD
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭HonalD


    seachto7 wrote: »
    HonalD wrote: »
    If you are interested in learning a different culture and understanding how other humans live their lives in a completely different way to what you are used to, then it's an amazing experience. If you're not interested in learning, or even respecting a totally different culture then stay where you are.

    If the money wasn't so good, do you think Irish people would be bothered going there?
    I have yet to meet an Irish person who has been there who has adopted the "culture" or learned the language.
    If a culture of shopping centres and 6 star hotels is supposed to be impressive, they can keep it...

    That’s a perfectly valid opinion to have but I think our understanding of culture differs.


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    #26
    seachto7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,863 ✭✭✭seachto7


    irishman86 wrote: »
    Yes why wouldnt they
    I would love to do a spell in the middle east
    Pretty ignorant to think everyone revolves around money

    Isn't that why most people go to Dubai though? For the money?


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    #27
    irishman86
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,814 ✭✭✭irishman86


    seachto7 wrote: »
    Isn't that why most people go to Dubai though? For the money?

    You realise Abu Dhabi isnt the same place as Dubai
    You could say that about most places regarding money, do you think the Polish come here for the Irish charm
    That doesnt mean everyone moves for money and its ignorant to think thats the case


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    #28
    HonalD
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭HonalD


    irishman86 wrote: »
    seachto7 wrote: »
    Isn't that why most people go to Dubai though? For the money?

    You realise Abu Dhabi isnt the same place as Dubai
    You could say that about most places regarding money, do you think the Polish come here for the Irish charm
    That doesnt mean everyone moves for money and its ignorant to think thats the case

    Have to echo what @irishman86 is saying there. Anyone who emigrates, does so for a number of reasons. One of which could be money. But everyone is different and posting stereotypical views doesn’t capture the diversity of people’s circumstances.


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    #29
    Sile Na Gig
    Registered Users Posts: 161 ✭✭Sile Na Gig


    I always carried my marriage certificate when travelling through uae. I’m a different race to my husband and we have different last names so I was particularly paranoid.

    Abu Dhabi is the party town, Dubai is more conservative. Most of the Irish I knew that lived there hated it but made enough to get a deposit on a house back home.


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    #30
    seachto7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,863 ✭✭✭seachto7


    Sile Na Gig wrote: »
    I always carried my marriage certificate when travelling through uae. I’m a different race to my husband and we have different last names so I was particularly paranoid.

    Abu Dhabi is the party town, Dubai is more conservative. Most of the Irish I knew that lived there hated it but made enough to get a deposit on a house back home.

    This is what I was getting at. How many Irish do you know who learned the language or embraced the "culture". Very few I'd say. Most pics I see seem to be of people on the pi55 in the same types of places you'd find in Australia or other warm countries.


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    #31
    Sile Na Gig
    Registered Users Posts: 161 ✭✭Sile Na Gig


    seachto7 wrote: »

    This is what I was getting at. How many Irish do you know who learned the language or embraced the "culture". Very few I'd say. Most pics I see seem to be of people on the pi55 in the same types of places you'd find in Australia or other warm countries.

    As a woman I found it very hard to connect with any of the locals. The men were superficially polite but had no interest in connecting with me. Some women were more approachable but only if their men folk weren’t around.

    By contrast all of the foreign workers, who make up a majority of the population, were much more open. If it’s an insular culture that is disinterested in socialising outside their cultural group you can hardly blame people if they don’t have a genuine connection with their culture.


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