Shocked

Rosepetals85

Got my non identifying info yesterday. All went well until social worker asked me about did I think about siblings. I said I presumed if I did, I would have been the eldest. When she told me I had three older siblings that had been adopted I was completely shocked. The first child born in 1979, second in 1981, third in 1984 and then myself in 1985. I honestly didn’t know how to take this is.
Has anyone been in this situation before. I just feel like crap knowing this like it was giving puppies away.
Thanks

afkasurfjunkie

Happened to me too. In my case an older sibling made contact with me. Turns out I’m not the oldest. I’m the middle of 5! I was delighted to be honest. I always wanted a sister. We’ve made contact and met a few times and get on so well. It’s interesting to see the similarities in our personalities even though we were raised in different ends of the country.
Don’t judge your birth mum. I’m sure it wasn’t like giving away puppies. As far as I know contraception wasn’t available to unmarried women in the late 70’s, early 80’s. I only had this conversation with my mum yesterday. I said birth mum could have kept us and dragged us up in poverty in what might have been less than desirable circumstances. She didn’t. She made a decision I don’t believe was at easy for her. And as a result we are all happy, well-adjusted adults who were brought up in loving homes.
Hope things work out for you. It is quite a shock to get.

Rosepetals85

Thank you for your reply. I’m probably just shocked that my birth mother gave up 4 children in six years. I was told she had a very hard life, spent her teenage years in a convent before moving to Dublin. I was told the three other siblings were placed in an adoption agency in glasnevin and I was placed with cunamh. I was told she put me into foster care then took me back and was in Denny house in donnybrook and was struggling to raise me and gave me back to Cunamh.

I just thought she was use to giving up children so when it came to me it wasn’t as hard as the first three.

Rosepetals85

Just to add. Do you know where I can find my original birth cert.
thanks.

Ghekko

You'd have to go to the General Registers Office and look through the records for baby girls born on your date of birth, with your original birth name (if you know it), and where the surname matches the mothers maiden name.

Rosepetals85

I don’t know my birth name or my birth mothers name. Is it still possible to find my birt cert ? Born in the Coombe. I know she’s from the Munster area and was working in catering in a hospital but was unemployed when she had me.

Ghekko

In that case you would need to look through the book and find girls where the surname matches the mothers maiden name. You may end up with a few for your date of birth but if you get copies of the certs you can narrow them down by place of birth. You could ask the social worker for your first name at birth. My husband was told his name, his birth mother and fathers first names and ages at the time.

Rosepetals85

Thanks, the social worker in cunamh told me they have a long waiting list if I wanted to do searching and due to some legislation next year, they will be closing down. That all files will be sent to Tulsa.
Do I still ask cunamh just for my first name, how long would it take to get that name or would it be on file from them to get it straight away.
Will they even give it to me. Is it as easy as just asking them.

Ghekko

They have it on file. When my husband initially wrote to TUSLA he asked specific questions, most of which they answered. Social workers differ with regards to what information they give out, which is very frustrating if you end up with a battle axe who won't give anything away. It's worth a try to ask the question and if she queries why tell her you are curious to know the name your birth mother chose for you. You needn't tell her you are doing your own search as no doubt this will be discouraged, but you are absolutely entitled to search yourself. Waiting lists are just too long.

Rosepetals85

Where is the GRO in Dublin. Also do I need to bring anything with me.

Ghekko

It's on Werburgh Street which is near Christchurch Cathedral. Have a look at the link for opening hours and fees you may incur.

https://www.welfare.ie/en/Pages/GRO_Research.aspx