Advice / Options / Criticisms on my car ad

irishgrover

Hi Boardsies,

I've put my car up for sale and want to get rid quick as have eye on an EV....
Can you please rip my ad to bits so I can rebuilt it better, stronger and faster....

DoneDeal ad is here

Also created new adverts ad as suggested by Kevin Irving here

Thanks in advance....

kirving

Hi,

Car looks good, but I'd change the following....

Don't curse about the Valet company.
Photo's in multiple places looks a bit strange.
Don't go on too much about saving money on Diesel, it will put people off.
Don't capitalise the TOP SPEC part, it looks shouty.
Greenlight Verification, super easy to do it so no reason not to.

Put the car on Adverts, I think people think that it's somehow safer than DoneDeal. I got far more interest in my car from Adverts recently.

Good luck with the sale, and the new car!

colm_mcm

I would change the bit about you being willing to travel as it’s like an open invitation to time wasters. Say you’re often in Clare/Galway/Westmeath area.

It’s a wack load of car for the money, hopefully it’ll sell easily enough.

irishgrover

thanks Lads, I've done as suggested, it's now on Adverts with your mark ups here

nextcarC5

I like your style of ad, very honest and clear. Leaves the viewer at ease.

However, you can eliminate some of the fluff that's not adding much value such as:

"I was originally looking for Skoda superb or bmw 5 series. However Laguna was much more reliable and better spec'ed."

And the bit about the new car, you can just say that you're looking to buy a new car for the family. Short & sweet.

I also would not label the Pros and Cons. Keep the little niggles sure, but don't list it as such. You're not being dishonest, you're just trying to make the ad as efficient as possible

Not sure about how formatting permits but try a list of features (It makes it super easy to read)

Features:

- Leather
- Air Con
- Sat Nav
- So on, so forth


GLWS



(Disclaimer: Never sold a car privately but have researched and bought many)

SpannerMonkey

Good idea for a thread . Im sure lots of people would like similar advice . Maybe worth a sticky ?

irishgrover

nextcarC5 wrote: »

I like your style of ad, very honest and clear. Leaves the viewer at ease.

However, you can eliminate some of the fluff that's not adding much value such as:

"I was originally looking for Skoda superb or bmw 5 series. However Laguna was much more reliable and better spec'ed."

And the bit about the new car, you can just say that you're looking to buy a new car for the family. Short & sweet.

I also would not label the Pros and Cons. Keep the little niggles sure, but don't list it as such. You're not being dishonest, you're just trying to make the ad as efficient as possible

Not sure about how formatting permits but try a list of features (It makes it super easy to read)

Features:

- Leather
- Air Con
- Sat Nav
- So on, so forth


GLWS



(Disclaimer: Never sold a car privately but have researched and bought many)

thanks, I've reformatted as suggested, however I've left in the bit about changing to EV. As if I was just getting another family car, and it was not an EV then I would not get rid of the car in the first place :-)

nextcarC5

It's nigh on perfect now Should really help sell the car

irishgrover

thanks again, great advice from all :-)
I'll get the green light verification done in the morning when I get my hands on the paperwork....

listermint

Buy a new radio button will ya just of order it now .

pah

Nice car Paddy. I had a 2004 Laguna initiale spec years ago I brought in from UK. Ridiculously high spec, I loved it.

Might just be personal preference but I like to order my photos. Exterior left and right possibly one with all doors open if it looks well. Then internal pics trying to show as many angles as you can then any docs such as service or NCT. I just think it flows better. The more pics the better IMO but maybe not everyone agrees.

You have loads of info on your description, I wonder have you a bit too much spiel though, prefer to keep it simple myself.

http://www.adverts.ie/12392067
That was my SMAX ad from last year, had same ad on done deal which is how I sold it in the end. Again just my 2c and maybe not to everyones taste.

Overall your ad looks very genuine and as mentioned above a lot of car for the money.

GLWS


Edit- just looked at the adverts link re pics so you've done that already

irishgrover

listermint wrote: »

Buy a new radio button will ya just of order it now .

yah, bit daft not too. I'll have a look online in the morning, it's literally just the little rubber thing..... it never bothered me as in reality you would exclusively use the controls on the steering wheel for everything....
I just didn't bother as I want to sell the car fast....

irishgrover

pah wrote: »

......

You have loads of info on your description, I wonder have you a bit too much spiel though, prefer to keep it simple myself.
.......

It's a very valid comment and one I struggle with. The point of giving all the additional information is to try and give an honest appraisal of the car. Also trying to inform that potential buyer that there is genuinely nothing wrong with the car and if it were not for the EV option I would be keeping it.....
....too much or too little info... I'm not sure..

bobwilliams

I think the add is perfect...i will be looking for a car probably next month.
Can I ask have you had any if the usual electrical Renault problems re electric windows etc??

irishgrover

bobwilliams wrote: »

I think the add is perfect...i will be looking for a car probably next month.
Can I ask have you had any if the usual electrical Renault problems re electric windows etc??

Hi no, no issues at all beyond standard services stuff and two bulbs (however I drive a lot and always leave the lights on) so to be expected. It's generally accepted that the mark 3 (post 2008) left behind the electrical issues that hampered mark 2s reliability. Good luck with your search. For what it's worth I had a Saab 93 previous to this and it too was a great car

Toyotafanboi

listermint wrote: »

Buy a new radio button will ya just of order it now .

The problem is you can't buy radio buttons separately.

You could acquire one from a scrap yard but even they would want to sell the full radio.

ba_barabus

Asking price is an issue with it, you can buy one privately with similar mileage for less money and one from a dealer ain't much more

millington

I would put in more exterior pictures and less interior pictures

legomanx51v

Not sure if I should make a new thread or post here, so mods can let me know if I'm out of place.
I posted in the sticky thread and it's on carzone too.

https://www.donedeal.ie/cars-for-sale/bmw-530d-high-spec-low-miles/17948301

What do you guys think of my ad? I haven't received any calls in the last 3 weeks. In fairness my older pics were with 17" winter alloys on and weren't great so I put better pictures up with nice summer alloys last week. It's priced competitively with UK +VRT route and in really good nick. I'd want to get a fair price for it and not give it away or anything.

nextcarC5

legomanx51v wrote: »

Not sure if I should make a new thread or post here, so mods can let me know if I'm out of place.
I posted in the sticky thread and it's on carzone too.

https://www.donedeal.ie/cars-for-sale/bmw-530d-high-spec-low-miles/17948301

What do you guys think of my ad? I haven't received any calls in the last 3 weeks. In fairness my older pics were with 17" winter alloys on and weren't great so I put better pictures up with nice summer alloys last week. It's priced competitively with UK +VRT route and in really good nick. I'd want to get a fair price for it and not give it away or anything.

Nice pictures, very good start.

Update the amount of previous owners as it's showing 0 right now

Remove all caps from spec list, reads better that way

Include one or two more pics of the rear of the interior

Perhaps include the cost of road tax (€750 right?). The 3 litres may scare some but the tax isn't that high if I'm right on the price

The low interest may be due to the price I think. Not many want to hand over €16,000 in cash and going other routes is effort

irishgrover

ba_barabus wrote: »

Asking price is an issue with it, you can buy one privately with similar mileage for less money and one from a dealer ain't much more

I can't check now as I'm at work, but I *think* it's the lowest price initiale available. The others are considerably lower spec.....
..but now that you've helped me built such a good add then if it's not shifting then it would imply price is an issue and it can be changed accordingly..
Decision I need to make is do a discount for a quick deal or hold out for closer to asking (which obviously comes with it's own risk)

ba_barabus

irishgrover wrote: »

I can't check now as I'm at work, but I *think* it's the lowest price initiale available. The others are considerably lower spec.....
..but now that you've helped me built such a good add then if it's not shifting then it would imply price is an issue and it can be changed accordingly..
Decision I need to make is do a discount for a quick deal or hold out for closer to asking (which obviously comes with it's own risk)

It could be the cheapest Initiale but people will just search Laguna and low miles.

Don't get me wrong I almost purchased one last year.

legomanx51v

nextcarC5 wrote: »

Perhaps include the cost of road tax (€750 right?). The 3 litres may scare some but the tax isn't that high if I'm right on the price

Its actually only 570€ and I've put that in the ad too.
Don't know why it keeps saying 0 owners, I've asked done deal to change it.
Will remove the all caps spec list, good point!

nextcarC5

legomanx51v wrote: »

Its actually only 570€ and I've put that in the ad too.
Don't know why it keeps saying 0 owners, I've asked done deal to change it.
Will remove the all caps spec list, good point!

Even better!

Cheap tax - Only €570 for a 3.0 Diesel Beemer is tempting

pah

ba_barabus wrote: »

It could be the cheapest Initiale but people will just search Laguna and low miles.

Don't get me wrong I almost purchased one last year.

Having owned this spec albeit a MK2 I can safely say it is one of the best I've ever owned. I haven't compromised on spec in other cars since owning that Laguna.

OP I wouldn't dream of dropping the price just to compete with any boggo spec models.

irishgrover

pah wrote: »

Having owned this spec albeit a MK2 I can safely say it is one of the best I've ever owned. I haven't compromised on spec in other cars since owning that Laguna.

OP I wouldn't dream of dropping the price just to compete with any boggo spec models.

It's funny, I really love the car and the spec's were very important to me. However for me personally what sold it to me was a.) High reliability index scoring and b.)the stereo.
Now I know that buying a car based on the quality of the stereo is pure daft, because you could spend a grand and put a great stereo in any car.....

Having said that, some people really don't give a sh!te about leather, or heated or power seats, or stereos or any other sh!te, They might just want reliability, or to put a hitch on the back of it, or whatever...

That's the thing, what I value in the car is not necessarily what others will value. So I have to treat it for what it is, something to be got rid of.

I'm happy that at this price there is a good chance it will sell fast, if I'm wrong I'll drop the price...... the market will dictate and I will follow.

At this point I'm happy (with all the help on editing the ad) that I'm best positioned to let the market do what it always does....

aerofoiled

Nice Laguna. A couple of small suggestions.

Change the mileage on your DD ad to kms, as it makes it more obvious that it's an Irish car. If I see miles listed on a post 08 car, I assume that it originally had a yellow plate. As already posted, get the VLC info in to your ad to remove all doubt.

You mention it has FSH but your photo is of 2 early service stamps. Have you had it dealer serviced outside of oil changes you do yourself? If so, get a more recent stamp up there.

millington

legomanx51v wrote: »

Not sure if I should make a new thread or post here, so mods can let me know if I'm out of place.
I posted in the sticky thread and it's on carzone too.

https://www.donedeal.ie/cars-for-sale/bmw-530d-high-spec-low-miles/17948301

What do you guys think of my ad? I haven't received any calls in the last 3 weeks. In fairness my older pics were with 17" winter alloys on and weren't great so I put better pictures up with nice summer alloys last week. It's priced competitively with UK +VRT route and in really good nick. I'd want to get a fair price for it and not give it away or anything.

530s don't sell too well over here. Out of interest, why did you go for an SE with the Sport interior over a full Sport?

legomanx51v

millington wrote: »

530s don't sell too well over here. Out of interest, why did you go for an SE with the Sport interior over a full Sport?

It was priced really well compared to a full M Sport, and had everything except the M sport bumpers and suspension. Both things I wasn't very interested in paying another couple of grand for.

893bet

Ain't no body gonna believe you change the oil every 5 k! That's every 5-6 weeks.

Looks in good nick!

irishgrover

893bet wrote: »

Ain't no body gonna believe you change the oil every 5 k! That's every 5-6 weeks.

Looks in good nick!

For me it's about every 6 or 7 weeks, dependent on millage.
I picked up an electric vacuum pump in aldi or lidl a couple of years ago and the job in done in 10 mins (you need to drive a bit before hand to warm up the oil but that's it).....
Actually I may as well throw in the pump with the car as won't be needing it any more :-).....
But yeah, I get your point...

irishgrover

Hi all, just wanted to say thanks for all the input and feedback. First people to view it bought it this morning (at very near asking peice) They came from cork so no doubt the ad was a major help....so thanks again....a good ad makes a major difference...
They should be happy, it was a good car at a good price....

ba_barabus

irishgrover wrote: »

Hi all, just wanted to say thanks for all the input and feedback. First people to view it bought it this morning (at very near asking peice) They came from cork so no doubt the ad was a major help....so thanks again....a good ad makes a major difference...
They should be happy, it was a good car at a good price....

Great to hear!