Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Would you date a very close friends ex?

Options
  • 31-03-2018 10:03pm
    #1
    Smile111
    Registered Users Posts: 536 ✭✭✭


    I personally would not even go there but this has happened to me.
    This "friend" always said she was using me.Quite literally it seems.
    Suddenly when she went behind my back she was too "busy" for weeks to meet yet not too "busy" for him.


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    Katgurl
    Registered Users Posts: 2,143 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    No.

    My previous view would have been only if she was ok with it.

    However many years ago I found myself in this situation - a friend's ex arrived in the country. She had since moved on and was in a serious relationship. He knew nobody so she introduced him to the group and he and I got quite friendly. I found myself very attracted to him. One evening over pints she said she may have picked up a vibe between us and if so, she had no problem with it. I was delighted. She was travelling with work and moved to another city. He and I began dating. I phoned her to let her know and she said it was great. It didn't work out with he and I. I went right off him even as a friend shortly after when I found out he was also dating a friend of a friend at the same time. Years later my friend still brings up the fact I 'went behind her back' and has conveniently forgotten we discussed it twice.

    So now if at all possible I would avoid.

    The only exception is if I don't really care about the friendship. Could this be the case here?


  • Options
    #3
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users Posts: 3,390 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    She told you she was using you and is now dating your ex? Shes not your friend.


  • Options
    #4
    Smile111
    Registered Users Posts: 536 ✭✭✭Smile111


    Yes she is.
    To be fair it suited me too but I think what she did was below the belt.
    Yes, I have said good bye to her. Of course she is playing victim card to the guy.


  • Options
    #5
    Smile111
    Registered Users Posts: 536 ✭✭✭Smile111


    Katgurl wrote: »
    No.

    My previous view would have been only if she was ok with it.

    However many years ago I found myself in this situation - a friend's ex arrived in the country. She had since moved on and was in a serious relationship. He knew nobody so she introduced him to the group and he and I got quite friendly. I found myself very attracted to him. One evening over pints she said she may have picked up a vibe between us and if so, she had no problem with it. I was delighted. She was travelling with work and moved to another city. He and I began dating. I phoned her to let her know and she said it was great. It didn't work out with he and I. I went right off him even as a friend shortly after when I found out he was also dating a friend of a friend at the same time. Years later my friend still brings up the fact I 'went behind her back' and has conveniently forgotten we discussed it twice.

    So now if at all possible I would avoid.

    The only exception is if I don't really care about the friendship. Could this be the case here?



    You did the decent thing and phoned.She went behind my back and only told me after she knew they were getting on and there was 99% chance I see them tog that night.


  • Options
    #6
    Bambi985
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Bambi985


    No I wouldnt, frankly. Good friends are bloody hard to come by.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    FizzleSticks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,172 ✭✭✭FizzleSticks


    This post has been deleted.


  • Options
    #8
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,801 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Mod Note

    Smile111, this is very similar to a thread you started last week and asked for it to be locked. You seem to have handled this by cutting contact with both of these people, so as such you are not looking for advice from the posters here but general discussion. As Personal Issues is a forum for seeking and offering advice, I will lock this thread.

    All the best.


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement