In laws (boyfriends family deleted OP on Facebook)

Joda

Hey. Just a quick question for you all to see what you think. I'm going out with my boyfriend with a while and his family are very different to what I usually deal with. There just different. I have met all his family and his cousins several times. What I think is weird is I asked two of his cousins to be friends on Facebook and they both deleted the request? I find that really rude as I'm going to meet these people again and what way am I supposed to be towards them? I know it's only Facebook but still. Then his own brother deleted me from Facebook last week and denies deleting me so he said to my boyfriend but if he didn't who did? I just don't understand what's the point. Is it that they just don't like me? Are they trying to cz an issue with me and my boyfriend? We are great though cz I don't take much notice and Iv an amazing family so that's all that matter and they are lovely to him so I'm happy but I would love to get a few opinions on what I should do and how I should react to this? Thanks

Capt'n Midnight

Moved from lifehacking.

justfillmein

why would you even care about being 'friends' with his family when you are only seeing each other 'a while'?
maybe they felt it was too soon to be connected with you.

you are in a relationship with your boyfriend, not him AND his family at this stage.

I wouldn't connect with any brothers/sisters/friends new partners unless they had been going out for a long time.
and I also have zero interest in meeting my own (future)partners family, until the wedding day at least;)

wirelessdude01

Why would you want to be Facebook friends with his cousins? I'm not with any of my OH's cousins and no intention of being. Just weird if you ask me.

Big Bag of Chips

You obviously take a lot of notice. Otherwise you wouldn't care enough to start a thread. I regularly get friend requests from people I barely know. I decline them. My husband's cousins would be people I barely know! I have also deleted people over time. People that I don't interact with at all on Facebook or in real life, and people who post something every 3 minutes. Either stupid updates on their daily life or numerous selfies a day. I have no desire to see a running commentary on what they're watching, eating, drinking, wearing, thinking etc.

These are people that I would still talk to and be friendly with if ever I meet them, but don't see the need to be Facebook friends with them.

What should you do if you see these people again? Exactly whatever it was you did before any Facebook interaction.

justfillmein

I have a lovely friend who connected with her boyfriends family on fb.
well when things were going downhill, she was thinking the relationship would work out because 'his family loved her'.
nope, your relationship is about you and him only my dear.
his families 'love for her' didn't help him want to stay with her in the end.

MissShihTzu

Does it even matter? Sounds like you have too much time on your hands. These are people you don't even know, so why should you worry about being 'friends' with them? Move on.

Seve OB

Joda wrote: »

I asked two of his cousins to be friends on Facebook and they both deleted the request? I find that really rude

Maybe they found your cyber request for "friendship" really rude

Dog walker 1234

Hi OP, you say your BF's family are different to what you usually deal with. Why would you Facebook them when you think this? Are you really surprised at the outcome?

Live your life, enjoy your relationship with your BF. Move on.

woodchuck

Unless you've been going out for years and have genuine friendships with the family members, it's a little odd to add them on facebook.

georgina toadbum

Do you post often on FB? If I accept someone and then I see they post 2-3 times a day I unfriend them. Just can't be dealing with it.

Bambi985

I was with my ex about two years and countless family events before any of the adding-on-social-media stuff! And even at that, it was following instagram accounts where E.G my ex's mother posts mainly arty pictures of her work etc. No facebook and thank god, we got on like a house on fire but I'd hate to have had to go through the deleting rigmarole after the breakup.

Maybe your bf has had a few relationships and his family have met a few girlfriends over the years and don't feel like adding another one to their social circle. Maybe it's a bit too personal for someone they briefly met one time. I know I'd be a bit "wtf" if I got the same request from a cousin's new boyfriend.

Social media represents different things to different people and not everyone is all about the adding every single person they meet in their daily lives, so that's something to consider moving forward. I'd act totally friendly and normal the next time you meet them and clock it down to an error of judgement on your part.

GingerLily

I've only added my cousins partners on Facebook when they get married and we're invited to the wedding, pretty much the same for my husbands family, I'm actually not friends with my SILs husbands - because there's no reason to be.

Its nice to have some distance

Katgurl

I really wouldn't take it personally OP or be sending anymore friend requests. Continue on as normal when you meet them.