Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Really stupid issue

Options
  • 26-03-2018 7:39pm
    #1
    Cookie_Queen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭


    So I was talking to a guy online (yes I know) for a few weeks we talked practically all day and night for weeks.

    There was 5hrs in the time difference between us, but he was always there no matter when woke up and messaged him etc. We really listened to each other and had open communication about everything. He always reassured me that he was there.

    The last week he seemed a bit distant, after some overtures of affection. Admittedly I was some what being slightly cautious, but I was making him aware I was returning the same feelings, on Wednesday I messaged him he replied a few hrs later, my last message to him was I will message you later as I am about to start work. The message was in relation to talking to him later about things in a round about way.

    I came back from work, got home to find he blocked me on everything and made his profiles private. Obviously I did send a message of I am not sure what happened but I wished him well. But no response at all since its been 5 days............I still don't have a clue .......I am not going to contact him again and look like a weirdo........but I am at a loss as to whats happened or if he will ever unblock me.


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    testicles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,198 ✭✭✭testicles


    This post has been deleted.


  • Options
    #3
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Yeah, agree with testicles here..just forget about it..if he does get back in contact leave it too..could be just gaslighting you..save yourself the torment..


  • Options
    #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    He’s in a time zone five hours different to own, we’ll assume he lives there. What exactly did you expect. He was probably bored/having a bit of craic for few weeks. You’re highly over invested in terms of distance, time and intensity. Messaging someone all day and night for weeks that you’ve only just met (online at that) bit ott no!?


  • Options
    #5
    GingerLily
    Registered Users Posts: 4,767 ✭✭✭GingerLily


    You don't know why they're acting this way, and you never will. They could be married or a 14 yo teenager.

    Best forget them.


  • Options
    #6
    Bambi985
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Bambi985


    You could not know this person less OP. They could be a “she”, or a geriatric, or a Russian bot, or 10 stone heavier than their pictures, or a serial killer for all you know.

    Take it as a harsh lesson in the murky online world and never invest your time, energy and emotions in a 2-dimensional online profile ever again, especially when they are in a different time zone and completely out of reach.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,928 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    Cookie_Queen wrote: »
    So I was talking to a guy online (yes I know) for a few weeks we talked practically all day and night for weeks.

    There was 5hrs in the time difference between us, but he was always there no matter when woke up and messaged him etc. We really listened to each other and had open communication about everything. He always reassured me that he was there.

    The last week he seemed a bit distant, after some overtures of affection. Admittedly I was some what being slightly cautious, but I was making him aware I was returning the same feelings, on Wednesday I messaged him he replied a few hrs later, my last message to him was I will message you later as I am about to start work. The message was in relation to talking to him later about things in a round about way.

    I came back from work, got home to find he blocked me on everything and made his profiles private. Obviously I did send a message of I am not sure what happened but I wished him well. But no response at all since its been 5 days............I still don't have a clue .......I am not going to contact him again and look like a weirdo........but I am at a loss as to whats happened or if he will ever unblock me.

    A lucky escape for you


  • Options
    #8
    Cookie_Queen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭Cookie_Queen


    Bambi985 wrote: »
    You could not know this person less OP. They could be a “she”, or a geriatric, or a Russian bot, or 10 stone heavier than their pictures, or a serial killer for all you know.

    Take it as a harsh lesson in the murky online world and never invest your time, energy and emotions in a 2-dimensional online profile ever again, especially when they are in a different time zone and completely out of reach.

    While that is true we face timed and spoke on the phone a lot. He'd also send me silly videos of himself and pictures going about his day. I know I don't know everything but I wouldn't get to into someone I hadn't even spoken to or seen.
    Thanks for all the kind comments after more perspective even though it sucks I'm actually quiet lucky.


  • Options
    #9
    Jasper_
    Registered Users Posts: 109 ✭✭Jasper_


    The only issue here is that you invested so much time and emotional energy in to a complete randomer that doesn't even live in the same country as you.

    Why start of with that obstacle? You don't live on an island with only 10 men on it.


  • Options
    #10
    Cookie_Queen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭Cookie_Queen


    Jasper_ wrote: »
    The only issue here is that you invested so much time and emotional energy in to a complete randomer that doesn't even live in the same country as you.

    Why start of with that obstacle? You don't live on an island with only 10 men on it.

    Being honest I hadn't planned on liking anyone, at least online. Not that I'm against it but as stated it raises complications. I have tried having more convenient relationships ...you like who you like I suppose.


  • Options
    #11
    Cookie_Queen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭Cookie_Queen


    Highlyoverinvested wrote: »
    He’s in a time zone five hours different to own, we’ll assume he lives there. What exactly did you expect. He was probably bored/having a bit of craic for few weeks. You’re highly over invested in terms of distance, time and intensity. Messaging someone all day and night for weeks that you’ve only just met (online at that) bit ott no!?

    Perhaps but he would message a lot too even if I was asleep and he knew that.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    Bambi985
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Bambi985


    How old are you OP? I feel like this is a trap that I and many of my friends walked into in our early 20s when we couldn't spot the red flags wrapped around someone who displays this kind of behaviour.

    The persistent over-and-backing night and day from someone that you don't know from adam, facetiming and phone-calls and investing every second in you when you haven't even met is not normal or healthy behaviour. Usually that sort of gung-ho behaviour fizzles as quickly as it starts when the fella gets bored and/or gets distracted by the next shiny new thing in front of him. It's no more than a guy fending off boredom and getting a cushy little ego boost while he's at it.

    It's only half-true that "you like who you like" OP, as having boundaries and standards for yourself is your own personal responsibility. Don't give someone that part of yourself until they've proven they are worth any of your time at all in future, and block anyone who starts to love-bomb you when they're not even in the same country.


  • Options
    #13
    Keyzer
    Registered Users Posts: 4,331 ✭✭✭Keyzer


    This kind of behaviour astounds me. Communicating with a total and utter stranger over the internet telling them god knows what.

    I really hope you didn't share any truly personal information.


  • Options
    #14
    osarusan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,586 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Keyzer wrote: »
    I really hope you didn't share any truly personal information.
    Not that it is necessarily the case here of course, but using a fake identity to build up a 'romantic' relationship with somebody online, to the point where they share naked/sexual images or videos of themselves, and then using those items and the threat of sharing them, for the purposes of blackmail, is something that happens online.


Advertisement