Issues with my boyfriend

babynice

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 10 months. Ever since we started going out with each other we have spent loads of time together. He always wants to do things and spend time together, always comes home from nights out instead of staying out with his friends and things like that. Now I never force him to do that and we just enjoy spending time together. He always tells me he loves me and would love a future with me.

We also work together and would have some mutual friends. There is one girl we work with that we are both friendly with and have sometimes gone on nights out with. She would sometimes go out with just me though. I have never really thought that they were flirting with each other or anything like that but noticed that seemed like good friends.

My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately (mostly over very petty things) and have been thinking that our relationship may not last, even though we both say we don’t want it to end. We had been fighting during the week and that night he told me that he wanted to spend some time by himself and I had no problem with that. The next day we decided that maybe we should go on a break to see how we felt. I had been thinking this myself but did not want to say it.

The next day (while we were meant to be on a break) he called me and asked me to meet him. He sounded very upset and suffers from depression so I went to meet him. He admitted to me that he went for a drink after work alone and ended up meeting this girl on the street. He started talking to her and told her that he was very upset because of all the fighting and other problems in his life. He told me that they got two drinks and then went for a take away which they ate in his house (he lives with his mother who was there at the time). She told me that she was there for twenty minutes and left.

I found this very upsetting as I had always trusted him 100%. I questioned this girl and she swears that nothing happened between them and that she didn’t really want to go with him but felt sorry for him because he was upset. She said she has a boyfriend and would not cheat on him. He says that nothing happened between them either and he was very upset that night and wanted someone to talk and felt that he couldn’t talk to me because I had been very moody with him lately (which is true).

She was also upset and said that she didn’t want to lose me as a friend and felt awful about it.

I know this sounds like a very sketchy situation and anyone would assume that there is something going on between them. But knowing the type of people that both of them are, I don’t believe that anything sexual happened between them. Am I stupid to think this? I am thinking myself that he was just very upset (he’s a very emotional person) and she just felt sorry for him. I do trust him but after hearing all this I don’t know what to think. I don’t want to break up with him because I do love him. Could it be that he just needed a friend to talk to? He told me that he tried to contact his male friend but they were busy.

After I found out about everything I told him that I wasn’t sure if I could trust him anymore and would need some time to think things over. I am just so confused I don’t know what to think.

GarIT

It seems like you have no reason to think anything improper happened. Don’t worry about it

mikemac2

From what’s you’ve posted it seems nothing happened between them

amdublin

I think your making a mountain out of a molehill here. Or something out of nothing.

Afroshack

amdublin wrote: »

I think your making a mountain out of a molehill here. Or something out of nothing.

Agree with this. Mountain out of molehill.

Dakota Dan

To make a short story long,if in doubt kick him out.

bee06

I don’t see why you would think anything happened between them? However it sounds like you have a lot of doubts about the future of the relationship and this is feeding into your mistrust.

babynice

bee06 wrote: »

I don’t see why you would think anything happened between them? However it sounds like you have a lot of doubts about the future of the relationship and this is feeding into your mistrust.

I think it’s the fact the they went back to his house. If they had just went for the drinks I don’t think l would be as insecure about it.

Help34

I don't think this is a sketchy situation. If it was sketchy he wouldn't have told you anything about it and you were on a break so he could do what he likes anyway without having to tell you.
You have the insecurity here and you need to deal with that or any relationship you ever have will end.

bee06

babynice wrote: »

I think it’s the fact the they went back to his house. If they had just went for the drinks I don’t think l would be as insecure about it.

His mom was there! If you are trying to get lucky you don’t take a girl back to a house with your mom in it. Especially if you are going to be cheating on your girlfriend.

Contessa Raven

If he was trying to seduce her, he wouldn't take her home when his mam was there. Trust me, not a good impression.

He was straight up about it. Why would he even mention it if he wanted to hide it? Also, if he was genuinely that upset and wanted someone to talk to, a familiar face would have been reassuring for him. And he knows you know her too. Maybe he felt comfortable because she knows you both?

If he was going to cheat, would he be stupid enough to cheat with your friend?

beertons

Chill the beans. He had a takeaway/food, and his mother, let's say, she was down the hall. They ate food, end of. Relax.

Metroid diorteM

I think your relationship was in question and you’re just seizing on this detail as an easy way out rather than confront the question about whether your relationship continues or not.

It’s up to you and it’s up to him if you love each other or not and if you want to have a very long relationship - marriage, kids, sex, house, travel, whatever.

That’s the real question. Do you want to stay with him for good or not? If you do then work on rebuilding the relationship together. If you don’t then it doesn’t matter what he does next.

Klonker

You say you trust him but you obviously don't. Sounds like she was just being a good friend.

babynice

Thanks everyone for your replies. I do want this relationship to continue because we have had some great times and I love him.

I think the reason I am so upset about this, which I didn’t make clear in the first post is that the night he met the girl we said we might see each other later but never contacted each other (I though he seemed weird so I left him alone). I met him the next day and it was then we spoke about the break, and it wasn’t until the next day again that he told me what had happened.