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Does he like me?

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  • 22-03-2018 11:50pm
    #1
    Confused_139
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭


    I’m 17 & have been flirting with a Muslim guy for 2 weeks. We go to the same school and spend a lot of time together (get the same bus to/from & hangout at lunch/ went out with friends three times). He told me he likes me but says he can’t do anything cause it’s haram. All his friends make it obvious that he’s told the about me but he refuses to develop the relationship any further. I just found out that one of his female friends told him she likes him & we had a fight because of it. I told him to date her if that’s what he wants. Now he’s ignoring me. What should I do?


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    #2
    Purpletoes
    Registered Users Posts: 181 ✭✭Purpletoes


    Confused_139 wrote: »
    I’m 17 & have been flirting with a Muslim guy for 2 weeks. We go to the same school and spend a lot of time together (get the same bus to/from & hangout at lunch/ went out with friends three times). He told me he likes me but says he can’t do anything cause it’s haram. All his friends make it obvious that he’s told the about me but he refuses to develop the relationship any further. I just found out that one of his female friends told him she likes him & we had a fight because of it. I told him to date her if that’s what he wants. Now he’s ignoring me. What should I do?


    Well I def wouldn't fight with other girls over him. If he likes you he will be with you. It sounds like his religion is very important to him so personally, I would step back of it were me.


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    #3
    K.Flyer
    Registered Users Posts: 8,565 ✭✭✭K.Flyer


    Confused_139 wrote: »
    He told me he likes me but says he can’t do anything cause it’s haram

    To answer your first question of whether he likes you, Yes he does, he told you so, but it is as a friend and no more.
    Definitely not worth fighting anyone over, because as he has explained already to you that anything more is forbidden [Haram].


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    #4
    rainbowtrout
    Registered Users Posts: 15,381 ✭✭✭✭rainbowtrout


    He told you he can't go out with you, so it's not going to go anywhere. What he does with other girls is none of your business.


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    #5
    Xterminator
    Registered Users Posts: 4,725 ✭✭✭Xterminator


    Hi Op

    To have a relationship with him there would be some hurdles, as he would be expected to date within his faith. Plus he has told you & shown you he doesn't want to take it any further.

    Now that would seem to be that. Unless you are going to volunteer to convert to islam, i would suggest you try to get over this, an move on.

    X


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    #6
    GuessWhoEh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 252 ✭✭GuessWhoEh


    Oh to be 17 again


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    #7
    never_mind
    Registered Users Posts: 915 ✭✭✭never_mind


    GuessWhoEh wrote: »
    Oh to be 17 again

    I know! Wouldn't it be lovely!!

    OP, you are a young woman and have college/work all ahead of you. You are going to meet lots of different guys in your life and are only starting out. Leave them at it and be adult enough to just move on.


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    #8
    TheBoyConor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,292 ✭✭✭TheBoyConor


    OP. Ah here, why would you even involve yourself in this level of drama.

    FWIW, if he's going on with all this haram craic, you'd be well advised to steer well clear in fact. Hard line Islam does not have any respect for women.


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    #9
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users Posts: 3,390 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    Dont chase after anyone, its not worth the effort.


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    #10
    justfillmein
    Registered Users Posts: 500 ✭✭✭justfillmein


    never ever fight with another girl over a boy/man!

    don't lower yourself like that again.

    you will regret that one day.


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    #11
    alastair
    Registered Users Posts: 19,307 ✭✭✭✭alastair


    TheBoyConor wrote: »
    OP. Ah here, why would you even involve yourself in this level of drama.

    FWIW, if he's going on with all this haram craic, you'd be well advised to steer well clear in fact. Hard line Islam does not have any respect for women.

    Nothing to suggest the fellah’s anything more than devout. He’s steered the OP clear in a considerate fashion himself, which seems pretty respectful tbh.


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    #12
    racso1975
    Registered Users Posts: 5,273 ✭✭✭racso1975


    I think the op mean she had a fight with the fella as in argument not fisty cuffs with another girl!!


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    #13
    Mongfinder General
    Registered Users Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General


    Religion is a factor from the start. He has probably been raised in line with the Koran. Be prepared to abide by what is written in that book if you plan on staying with him.


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    #14
    justfillmein
    Registered Users Posts: 500 ✭✭✭justfillmein


    racso1975 wrote: »
    I think the op mean she had a fight with the fella as in argument not fisty cuffs with another girl!!

    sorry, after reading again, I think your right.

    op, its only been two weeks of liking him.
    as someone else has said, he did tell you he didn't want a relationship with you in a reasonable way.
    it's not really fair for you to fall out with him because another girl likes him too.

    maybe it's best to let the idea of a relationship go, wait until things blow over, and hopefully you can at least be friends again.

    or if you can't handle being friends, maybe apologize for the argument, and then stay out of his way for a while.


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    #15
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Mod:

    Rotten12, welcome to Personal /Relationship issues. Your posts were deleted due to them falling far short of the standard we expect of responders to a thread here.

    Crass generalisations towards a group are not permitted here, and your second post was one that could easily have earned you a red card. Have a read of the charter before posting again here.


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    #16
    Confused_139
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭Confused_139


    Yes, you're right I meant I had a fight with him not the other girl. We resolved the fight about the other girl but then had another one because he was telling everyone how he feels about me except me. I don't know how to move on and be friends after him saying he likes me and then wanting to pretend he hadn't said anything immediately after. I understand it's forbidden but am I asking too much for him to be open and honest about his feelings just so it's clear where we stand? He want's to act like nothing happened but our fight made me lose some respect for him.


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    #17
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    You say you're 17? I'd have thought it was more like 7, the way you're all behaving.

    I suggest you do a bit of research into what dating a Muslim entails. If he's from a religious family, he's going to get a lot of hassle from them over dating a non Muslim. *If* you were to date him and the relationship developed, you'd possibly have to convert to Islam and bring your children up in the religion.

    Seriously, why bother with the drama. Leave him be and concentrate on your school work. You're way too young to be getting involved in this sort of nonsense.


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