Mods please check the Moderators Group for an important update on Mod tools. If you do not have access to the group, please PM Niamh. Thanks!

Advice, please

  • #2
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭✭✭ Cloneegirl


    Hi looking for advice. I need to give up drinking. I would have a drink every night of the week (bottle or maybe two of wine, depending on how I’m feeling). Then go on a mad one of Friday and Saturday night. Could be wine and some other spirts. My tolerance has built up. I get hangovers but pop some mess and it usually goes quick. Eat like a horse. But thankfully not putting on weight from it. I’m a female, 30. Don’t miss work or anything. But it’s affecting my life- relationship/ thinking of kids. I just can’t control myself when I have “just the one”. There can be times when I can go a day or week with out drink and will go on a binge. Not sure AA and God works? There is support in Dublin City but seems to be in the day time. Living out in blanch. Ideas/advice greatly appreciated. Thanks.


Comments

  • #2


    Cloneegirl wrote: »
    Hi looking for advice. I need to give up drinking. I would have a drink every night of the week (bottle or maybe two of wine, depending on how I’m feeling). Then go on a mad one of Friday and Saturday night. Could be wine and some other spirts. My tolerance has built up. I get hangovers but pop some mess and it usually goes quick. Eat like a horse. But thankfully not putting on weight from it. I’m a female, 30. Don’t miss work or anything. But it’s affecting my life- relationship/ thinking of kids. I just can’t control myself when I have “just the one”. There can be times when I can go a day or week with out drink and will go on a binge. Not sure AA and God works? There is support in Dublin City but seems to be in the day time. Living out in blanch. Ideas/advice greatly appreciated. Thanks.

    Hi Clonee Girl,

    There is an open AA meeting in Corduff community centre on Saturday morning 11 am. There are several women in attendance there that have had the same issues you describe and they would be happy to talk to you about recovery, as would I.
    Just to clarify, AA is a spiritual program, not a religious one. The word God is used as a generic term for something greater or bigger than us humans. We need to rely on something as we can't do it ourselves. That's why we have meetings.
    There are plenty of evening meetings around Blanch, Lucan Ballyfermot etc. PM me if you need a list.
    Best of luck.


  • #2


    you will find quite a few posts on your situation in this thread.You know you need to change your habits asap.You will have to go off drink for awhile I think just so that you change your lifestyle.It is not easy to do because drink is all around you even if you cut it out at home which you really have to do.If you can just break the home drinking habit by filling your drinking time with better habits for example like get fitter if you buy drink somewhere change your shopping routine like getting your food in for the week.when you go out try and avoid heavy drinking with drinking buddies it might mean you lose some of these but in truth if they are real friends they should still remain so.I you cannot change yourself you will have to seek professional help .The best of luck it might take a few attempts but i am sure it will work in time.


  • #2


    Cloneegirl wrote: »
    Hi looking for advice. I need to give up drinking. I would have a drink every night of the week (bottle or maybe two of wine, depending on how I’m feeling). Then go on a mad one of Friday and Saturday night. Could be wine and some other spirts. My tolerance has built up. I get hangovers but pop some mess and it usually goes quick. Eat like a horse. But thankfully not putting on weight from it. I’m a female, 30. Don’t miss work or anything. But it’s affecting my life- relationship/ thinking of kids. I just can’t control myself when I have “just the one”. There can be times when I can go a day or week with out drink and will go on a binge. Not sure AA and God works? There is support in Dublin City but seems to be in the day time. Living out in blanch. Ideas/advice greatly appreciated. Thanks.

    AA can work for many people sometimes you just need to try a few different groups. Saying that it hasn't helped our situation much at all. But maybe look in to smart recovery or other groups that are more practical. Best though if you feel ok with it is to visit an experienced GP that can talk through your options and you might need medication to help with withdrawal. It's much safer to be under the care of a GP when making changes like this and they can be a great support especially if you're not sure where to start. As I said AA could work for you, or try a community addiction team. Check out any posters in your area, I never realised how much help was out there and now I can see there are groups advertised all over the place. Try community Center notice boards and adult education centres and doctors offices, they usually have info there. Well done for thinking about yourself and putting your self first it is so important and not in any way selfish. If you look after your own well being first you'll be able to look after others in time.


  • #2
    aabarnes1 wrote: »
    We need to rely on something [God] as we can't do it ourselves. That's why we have meetings.

    You can do it yourself. It's possible. I find an over-reliance on a God an excuse for failures and successes. It absolves the self of truly reaching one's potential.

    I don't mean to provoke and I completely understand the sentiments. Having a support network is very helpful, be it real people or spiritual. I'm not saying a God for someone isn't helpful. I just disagree that one needs God to recover. We have the power within.


  • #2


    Thanks, I understand your point. However, with real alcoholics, the needed power you talk about is not there.We were beyond human aid, that is the baffling nature of alcoholism. We didn't drink to escape, we drank to satisfy an obsession that was beyond our mental control. It is this 'lack of control' that has had doctors, physicians and medics bewildered for millennia. That is why we describe ourselves as powerless. If we could summon up enough will power, many of us would have recovered long ago. We are like men who have lost there legs, we do not grow new ones. A simple reliance on a higher power , or even a willingness to accept one is the foundation on which millions of alcoholics have recovered.
    I understand that there is more than one way to skin a cat, I tried all of them and this way is the only way that worked for me, not only for quite a long time now, but the freedom and happiness I now enjoy is unfathomable compared to when I ran on self will. Stay well.


  • #2
    I appreciate what you are saying. I don't want to trivialize it either.

    I don't know what it's like to be a chronic/daily alcoholic. My alcoholism was kind of habitual but a huge part of it was escapism and mental illness. On weekends, I could drink and drug from Friday night to Sunday morning, with zero sleep. I did this for years. Eventually, I got help. It was actually from a therapist. Did a deep dive on things that have caused me to have depression and anxiety all my life. It answered questions to why I may have been drinking and drugging excessively. And it wasn't just being social either. Waking up by myself in a dark laneway after snorting horse tranquilizer after drinking wasn't one of my better moments. My point is that I don't think anything is beyond us. The point is that if we can only succeed by the will of another person, that's depending on something else as a coping mechanism.

    And I appreciate that a higher power, what ever that is, it helped you. That's wonderful. Technically, it's still you. You took made the choice to believe in a higher power and in return it gives you the strength.

    My post aimed to offer people self-empowerment. That we don't always need to be dependent on a drug or a God, a spiritual leader etc. We have the ability to make choices. We can't control our past but we have an element of control in how we make choices for our future.

    It's great to read your view and I do respect it. I hope you don't think I'm saying that I think you are wrong. I just agree there are many ways to skin a cat as you say and it's great you find you have more freedom and happiness now. Keep it up!

    I'm sorry if I'm derailing this topic, it wasn't my intention.


  • #2


    For me I went to a hospital as after 2 months sober I was really depressed even though I didn't realize it.

    When I got out ive been going to AA which is a great help if you find the right group.

    I have been doing a bit of everything psychologist, psychiatrist, aa , treatment.

    So whatever works works you just need to find what work for you.


  • #2


    aabarnes1 wrote: »
    Thanks, I understand your point. However, with real alcoholics, the needed power you talk about is not there.We were beyond human aid, that is the baffling nature of alcoholism. We didn't drink to escape, we drank to satisfy an obsession that was beyond our mental control. It is this 'lack of control' that has had doctors, physicians and medics bewildered for millennia. That is why we describe ourselves as powerless. If we could summon up enough will power, many of us would have recovered long ago. We are like men who have lost there legs, we do not grow new ones. A simple reliance on a higher power , or even a willingness to accept one is the foundation on which millions of alcoholics have recovered.
    I understand that there is more than one way to skin a cat, I tried all of them and this way is the only way that worked for me, not only for quite a long time now, but the freedom and happiness I now enjoy is unfathomable compared to when I ran on self will. Stay well.

    Well done Andrew on quitting and i very much enjoyed reading your honest posts, very refreshing and frankly inspiring.


  • #2


    Well done Andrew on quitting and i very much enjoyed reading your honest posts, very refreshing and frankly inspiring.

    When you are in a dark place like many of us have been you will accept any help if you want to get out of it. I was anti-God when I walked into AA, I met a lot of God people and that's fine but I met many who use their cat or their dog or their dead Granny as a HP and that's fine too.


Sign In or Register to comment.