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Not bothered about dating, is this normal?

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  • 14-03-2018 6:44pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everyone. Not much of a problem, more a curiosity!

    I broke up with my ex partner in october in a somewhat protracted way (regretfully). We were in touch up until a few weeks ago really, and last met up about two months ago. It's been hard, really hard and I was pretty devastated about it all.

    It's now almost five months since the breakup and I just can't seem to get excited or interested in dating The thought just turns my stomach. Which is of course fine - absolutely nothing wrong with being single! work has been busy, i've travelled a bit, spend my weekends exercising and catching up with friends.

    In the medium term however i absolutely want to settle down with someone, get married, have a family and all of that. which is why my lack of enthusiasm is sort of worrying me. i'll be 33 in a few weeks and a big part of my brain is in panic "Get a move on!" mode, i know these things take time from the point of meeting someone, just cant seem to get emotionally onboard.

    how long is long enough to get over someone and get back on the saddle as it were? i just feel a bit in dread about it all - i know dating can be an ordeal and it can take bloody ages to meet the right person. arsed i could be NOT at the moment tho!! any advice?


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    #2
    heretothere
    Registered Users Posts: 624 ✭✭✭heretothere


    I had just wrote you a really long post and my session timed out and deleted it!!!

    Synopsis:

    No need to feel like you have to rush. After I ended a 5 years relationship I was single for a year, but don't cut out the possibility of meeting someone. I meet a guy 5 months after the break up on a random night out. He added me on Facebook and we were chatting away from a few months. When we were both back in the same town it took us about a week to get together. I'm marrying him this October!

    Even though when I did meet him I had no interest in dating him, just that he was nice guy I'm obviously very glad that I did let him in a small bit at the time. I could have easily declined the Facebook add, I was backpacking in Australia at the time, I never would have seen him again.


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    #3
    Katgurl
    Registered Users Posts: 2,143 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    My own attitude to dating is (like going out / staying in / working out loads / travelling not) is simply do it when it's fun and you want to, otherwise don't.

    I also 'got serious' about finding someone in my 30s and was dating up an absolute storm. It was like having a second job. Absolutely zero fun or flirting just over-caffeinated asexual experiences. Zzzzz.

    One day it dawned on me I was wasting the most precious thing I had; my own free time. There were ten million other things I could be doing with my weekends or free evening. So I started doing them instead

    It is a cliche I know but the right guy will be along when you're ready to meet him. And you will only be ready when you're ready. We are all different.


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