Helping my dad meet new friends???

redbluewarm

Hi there everyone,

I signed up specifically to post about this as I'm at a bit of a loss. Hopefully, someone on here will be able to help. I'll try and keep it short as well but feel free to ask anything if I leave something out.

My father is 58 years old now and living on his own and is becoming a bit isolated. He doesn't work anymore as he had a fall and injured his shoulder and pelvis. He's still mobile but anything really physically taxing would be out of the question for him.

Anyway the long story short is that he spends a lot of time on his own now. He's the youngest of four brothers. Unfortunately, the eldest three have already passed away so he's lost not just his brothers but good friends in them in the last few years.

His social circle has diminished too. A couple of his close friends have gotten married later in life (and don't get me wrong he's delighted for them) but they aren't around as much or at all as they have moved.

I do my best to see him as much as possible but I work a normal 9-5:30 kind of job, have, am married myself and live a reasonable distance away so it's not like I can be there all the time either. Nor does he want me to be. I know he definitely misses having his own friends to socialise with.

Basically, he lives alone and is at a loose end with not a lot to do all day most days. I've tried to encourage him to meet new people but I do realise it's difficult. He's lucky enough that he lives fairly close to the centre of Dublin so at least he's not in a rural isolated area but meeting friends is still tough for him.

I did manage to convince him to sign up to a group meeting website a while back. The specific group was a large one that was a kind of cinema club. They'd meet up once in a while and go see a new release. He was skeptical but I managed to twist his arm as it was advertised as 18-80 and there seemed to be quite a few people in his own age profile amongst the members. I signed him up to the site and helped him fill in his profile. Upon joining the group you needed to be "approved" by the group moderators and, for whatever reason, they rejected my dad's request. I honestly have no idea why. Since then he's completely dismissive about trying to use internet groups to meet people.

If anyone has any idea with something that might suit him I'd love to hear from you. Again he's 58, lives in Dublin city centre and is into all the usual stuff, tv, books, cinema, sports etc.. etc.. etc..

Any help from all you good people out there would be greatly appreciated as I'm at a loss as to what to suggest to him and it's difficult to know he spends the greater part of each day on his own at his age.

Cheers

listermint

Look up men's shed. There are a few in the city itself.

Well worth it and sounds like it's ideal for your dad

redbluewarm

Thanks, I'll look into it. Greatly appreciated.

woodchuck

What about doing a class? Is there any hobby you think he'd like to indulge in or develop? It could be anything like cooking, art, learning a language etc. I don't know any specific courses off the top of my head, but could be worth looking into.

redbluewarm

Yeah I've tried suggesting that to him but to be honest he hasn't got anything at this stage that he'd be committing to that heavily. It's more of a pickup in his social life that he's looking for rather than just filling time for the sake of it.

TheIronyMaiden

listermint wrote: »

Look up men's shed. There are a few in the city itself.

Well worth it and sounds like it's ideal for your dad

Was just going to suggest this - my partners dad had to retire early from work due to health problems and he joined the local men's shed and honestly, he absolutely loves it. They do loads of projects around the community and it's been great for him. Hopefully your Dad gets on well with it too

atilladehun

Does he like music? Would a choir group help? Or ukulele is easy to learn and there's a few groups around.

How active is he? My dad plays in an over 55s golf game weekly and loves it.

Poker/bridge clubs

Walking meet ups

What about those garden plot places.

Driving for a local charity centre?

Could he arrange to meet up with his mates or couples for a regular quiz night? Something like that can make meeting up more regular. Get as many on board as possible and see who turns up each week. He'll also recognise faces each week and meet more.

woodchuck

What about volunteer work?

stargazer 68

TheIronyMaiden wrote: »

Was just going to suggest this - my partners dad had to retire early from work due to health problems and he joined the local men's shed and honestly, he absolutely loves it. They do loads of projects around the community and it's been great for him. Hopefully your Dad gets on well with it too

Agree with this. My mam passed away a couple of years ago and she had been trying to get my Dad to go to our local sheds but he never went. Now he goes twice a week and loves it - they go on trips out, have exercise classes and cooking classes. His circle of friends is huge.

DoozerT6

Would he think of signing up with ALONE to become a befriender? I think at his relatively young age, and due to the fact that he is mobile and looking for things to do etc, he might be of more benefit signing up to HELP them, then to RECEIVE help from them. He could visit one (or even two) older people once a week, help people in a similar situation to himself, and maybe get himself and his new friends out and about, even for a pint or to watch a match - or both!

I've also heard good things about men's sheds, and I've always been an advocate of joining something like a choral or dramatic society to have a bit of craic and get out of the house.

Does he like animals? Are there any shelters or charities near where he lives that he could help out?