Bike robbed from junction 15 M7

Dr Turk Turkelton

Good evening all,
I'm hoping someone here might be able to help. Basically I was cycling down the M7 the day before last and as I was coming up to junction 15 Monasteravin the beans I had earlier started to rumble in my tummy.
Not wanting to be too graphic I jumped off my bike and spent the next fifteen minutes the far side of the hedge in a number two position.
To cut a long story short when I returned some baxtard had robbed my bike and I had to walk about five kms with no jocks on as I had to use them to wipe myself and my hole still has a rash on it from the walk. I then got thrown out of a shop cause my lad was showing through my Lycra.
Luckily for me some auld one took pity on me in my sorry state and brought me back to her house and let me clean myself up. She was so kind and have me an old tweed suit of her dead husbands and a pair of old man jocks.
I would like to thank this lovely old widow from the bottom of my heart and wish nothing but bad luck on the thieving prickthat stole me bike.
So if anyone hears of a trek bike for sale with some identifying marks please let me know.
Thanks all.

I think the bastard was on here the other day bragging about a Trek he'd chanced upon. A madone 9.9 no less.

arybvtcw0eolkf

LOL, brilliant

I had to walk about five kms with no jocks on as I had to use them to wipe myself and my hole still has a rash on it from the walk. I then got thrown out of a shop cause my lad was showing through my Lycra.

Gold.. Then the dead hubbies tweet suit and jocks LOL.

jimmycrackcorm

You must be a city boy otherwise you'd know too use dalkin leaves to wipe and prevent soreness.

Eamonnator

Dr Turk Turkelton wrote: »

I had to walk about five kms with no jocks on as I had to use them to wipe myself and my hole still has a rash on it from the walk.

The lesson to be learned here is never to wear jocks under your lycra.
That's probably, what caused the rash.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

mrsoundie

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

I was going to ask that myself!

brightspark

Dr Turk Turkelton wrote: »

Good evening all,
I'm hoping someone here might be able to help. Basically I was cycling down the M7 the day before last and as I was coming up to junction 15 Monasteravin

Someone did help, they have stopped you cycling on the motorway for a while and potentially saved your life.


Sorry you had your bike stolen, but stay off the motorway next time.

Sam Quentin

Ha pussies along the M50
If that had happened on the M1 you would'a got the shít kicked out of you as well

Edit: If the op is true!?
Then I apologise for my lack of empathy and humorous post......

James 007

Bachelor or Heinz beans, i really need to know this to avoid this type of situation!

guanciale

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Christ almighty. Isnt it obvious. He cant cycle on the footpad as some dude keeps robbing his bagofcans.

Doltanian

TROLL is obvious, if it was true then I'd say good enough for you and the thief would have done us all a favour by stealing your bike as it might keep you off the Motorway in future.

TheBlaaMan

Ah those Treks are sh1te anyway, you're well rid of it. You want to get yourself an old style steel bike - there's a guy on here sells them vintage jobbies. Brendan something-or-other.......Boyer? no....O'Carroll, no. Ah, you'll find him (if not your bike)

I think he might also have a Trike 9.9 for sale 😎

magicbastarder

If you were not wearing hi visit and a helmet, I have no sympathy for you. Perhaps the thief would have seen you were nearby and scarpered.

odyssey06

That's terrible. Shocking you being attacked like that in the middle of a much needed comfort break.
You should berate your domestiques for not offering their bike to you.

I blame the professionals for setting such a poor example:
http://www.the42.ie/tom-dumoulin-toilet-break-giro-3405419-May2017/

magicbastarder

guanciale wrote: »

He cant cycle on the footpad as some dude keeps robbing his bagofcans.

I assume a bagofcans is an aluminium model?

magicbastarder

magicbastarder wrote: »

I assume a bagofcans is an aluminium model?

Carbon ringpull on those I'd wager :pac:

Dr Turk Turkelton

Yis are a very unsympathetic bunch on here.I don't normally cycle on the motorway but I missed a bus and I had a date with a girl in Stradbally that I felt a connection with.
I had been texting her on tinder for a couple of days but when I showed up in the ill fitting tweed suit from the dead guy she took one look at me and done a real life left swipe.
So not only did the douche steal my trek bike and nearly get me done for a sex crime but he could have potentially ruined my dream relationship.

NickNickleby

Right, I'm definitely spending too much time on boards, cause I got it in the first paragraph.

Excellent OP.

No one can ever say the boards cycling forum doesn't have a sense of humour

arybvtcw0eolkf

Can't wait for tomorrow escapades from our intrepid tweed clad hero

Dr Turk Turkelton

Dr Turk Turkelton wrote: »

Yis are a very unsympathetic bunch on here.I don't normally cycle on the motorway but I missed a bus and I had a date with a girl in Stradbally that I felt a connection with.
I had been texting her on tinder for a couple of days but when I showed up in the ill fitting tweed suit from the dead guy she took one look at me and done a real life left swipe.
So not only did the douche steal my trek bike and nearly get me done for a sex crime but he could have potentially ruined my dream relationship.

On your bike.... oh wait

deandean

Hang on now. OP you stopped for 15 minutes just to do a number 2? WIMP!
Next time just offset yourself on the saddle and do the business but stay cycling. If you'd done that you'd still have your bike.

ec18

Dr Turk Turkelton wrote: »

Yis are a very unsympathetic bunch on here.I don't normally cycle on the motorway but I missed a bus and I had a date with a girl in Stradbally that I felt a connection with.
I had been texting her on tinder for a couple of days but when I showed up in the ill fitting tweed suit from the dead guy she took one look at me and done a real life left swipe.
So not only did the douche steal my trek bike and nearly get me done for a sex crime but he could have potentially ruined my dream relationship.

because she would have been a right swipe if you were in lycra?

Wishbone Ash

Any chance the thread titled could be changed?

I'm always astounded at the amount of people who don't know the difference between 'robbed' and 'stolen'.

Liam28

Wishbone Ash wrote: »

Any chance the thread titled could be changed?
I'm always astounded at the amount of people who don't know the difference between 'robbed' and 'stolen'.

Correct: bike was stolen, OP was robbed.

Great thread, here's another amazingly similar one:
https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057848830

daragh_

Liam28 wrote: »

Correct: bike was stolen, OP was robbed.

Great thread, here's another amazingly similar one:
https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057848830

Ah don't ruin it. I'm loving the randomers dropping in to pontificate about cycling on the motorway.

Well done guanciale for deploying the Footpad protocol

davycc

Dr Turk Turkelton wrote: »

Yis are a very unsympathetic bunch on here.I don't normally cycle on the motorway but I missed a bus and I had a date with a girl in Stradbally that I felt a connection with.
I had been texting her on tinder for a couple of days but when I showed up in the ill fitting tweed suit from the dead guy she took one look at me and done a real life left swipe.
So not only did the douche steal my trek bike and nearly get me done for a sex crime but he could have potentially ruined my dream relationship.

Pm sent

arybvtcw0eolkf

Liam28 wrote: »

Correct: bike was stolen, OP was robbed.

Great thread, here's another amazingly similar one:
https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057848830

Brilliant.

This is possibly the funniest number #2 thread I've read in a very long time