No friends

IrishGirl18

I hope it is ok to post this here as I don’t know where else to post.
I’m a 22 year old female with a full time job and absolutely 0 friends, and by 0 friends I literally mean 0.
I have a couple of people I still talk to every now and again from school but no one that is there for me when I need them.
I work Monday to Friday and spend my weekends doing absolutely nothing when I should be out living my life.
People is always telling me “why don’t you go and join a club or a class” I’ve done all this before and just end up sitting their and not opening my mouth because I’m quite shy at first.
I look at other people my age and they have huge groups of friends and are never lonely and it makes me jealous because I’ve never had that.
Surely is not normal for a 22 year old to be completely lonely? I really don’t know what to do and feel like it’s started to effect my mental health, these are my prime years and I have absolutely nothing to show for it.
I’m not expecting anything from this I just want to know that I’m not alone

Maryg3

I'm new to this site so I don't know what I'm at i just randomly hit into this without even reading it but im glad I did read it.

Because you are 100% completely not alone on this, when I left school at 18 I had this idea in my head that I was going to travel the world seek out every adventure I could with my buddies from school. But that's exactly what they were just friends from school and their association and friendship with me stayed there too!!
Two months after I finished my leaving cert I met my husband and at 22 I had a 2 year old. Just for the record I didn't travel the world and I was never in contact with my o ld school friends. So at 22 I had a 2 year old while all the people my age were out partying in college and travelling the world. But I didn't let it get me down.

I know your situation is different but you shouldn't let it get you down either!!!

Instead I got out and made a new circle of friends that I had things in common with, like a child for one!!

Your shy, there are lots of shy people out there. Have you family your age? That you have things in common with? can have outings with and maybe go to the odd party with? What about work, have you anyone at work that you get on well with? I don't want to sound like I'm telling you what to do but do Try and get out of your comfort zone because believe me you will feel a lot better for it!! By the sounds of your post if you don't you will get stuck in a rut and that's the last thing you want!!
Hope this helps!!!

Airyfairy12

I went through something similar in my mid twenties, from age 23 to age 26 I literally had no friends. I went through something and the second I needed a friend -who id been there for at different stages throughout our friendships - they each fell off the face of the earth and didnt want to know me when I was depressed and anxious. Its tough and you feel incredibly alone. I would advise against groups/clubs because everyone in the group already know each other and as a shy person its very difficult to start up conversations with strangers. I would recommend you get a few hobbies, try different things until you discover something you like and stick with it. Is there anything you enjoy doing or anything youve always kind of had an interest in but never tried? Nows a good time to do it. Not only is it great for your mental health but it makes you more interesting, gives you conversation starters and introduces you to like minded people.

Conor Bourke

Would you have any interest in volunteering? I was in a voluntary ambulance organisation from my early teens but in my twenties I really found it gave me a huge social circle I wouldn’t have had otherwise. I’ve made friends throughout the country and those connections have lasted 10+ years. You may also learn new practical skills but it could help you become less shy, more at ease with approaching people, making small talk. It doesn’t have to be first aid, there are numerous activities and organisations who would be glad to have you and could open many doors for you. Best of luck!

DoozerT6

I've mentioned this before in a couple of similar threads, but if there's a drama group or choral society near you I'd highly recommend checking them out, if you're that way inclined. There tends to be a bit of craic and great interaction at rehearsals etc. Performing might also help with your shyness.

December2012

Have you had a look at www.girlcrew.ie

Salthillprom

Would you consider throwing yourself into something that isn’t necessarily a club..but more like volunteering? Civil Defence maybe? What about volunteering to Marshall an upcoming big event in your area? I presume you are on Facebook..start following organisations in your area. Friends will happen when you meet in circumstances where you are involved in shared interests. Do you play any sport? Like team sports?
You say you work..could you get a job that has lots of young people, lots of nights out etc?
You are only in your early twenties..honestly..your life has barely started. Don’t write yourself off as having nothing to show for your social life.
The two things in this world to realise re: friendships is that people won’t come knocking on your door and you reap what you sow. So, there is no option but for you to get out there and get involved in some kind of thing..whether it’s work or a group/volunteering. Friends will come along when you meet on grounds of shared interests. Don’t stress. Honestly. Good luck.

hsjsj

Op I'm also really shy and quiet until I get to know someone, but I find using things like self talk before a social situation where I want to talk to people, really helps, you should look it up

Nuttzz

have a look at www.meetup.com plenty of activities on that site and great opportunity to meet new people

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Neyite

Mod:

Apologies folks, I intended to delete the posts that contravened the charter last night and I see this morning I didn't.

They are deleted now, and one reply to them was too as it addressed solely to the person now deleted and contained no advice for the OP.