How do you get a debs date?

Quokka99

I'm single and none of the lads in my year fancy me. They are all planning on asking girls they want to get with, as opposed to as friends. I don't have any guy friends outside of school, as I'm pretty shy. I think I'm pretty good looking but I have no luck with guys- the ones that fancy me are creepy or ugly and the ones I fancy rarely fancy me. I really do want to go to my debs but I'm scared I won't be able to find someone that wants to go with me. How did you guys get dates?

Rekop dog

Quokka99 wrote: »

- the ones that fancy me are creepy or ugly

That's not very nice OP, you're obviously very young but you seem to place a lot of emphasis on looks.

You say you're shy so I'd advise you to take up a hobby that involves getting you out of your shell, perhaps something drama related. Even forgetting the debs this will be of benifit to you going forward whether you plan on college or working after school. The more confident you are the more at ease you'll be at talking to guys and will naturally increase your chances of finding a date, but try going with someone you've something in common with or can laugh with above having looks as the first criteria.

Quokka99

Thank you. Yeah, sorry that came off pretty harsh, I sound like I'm really objectifying them. I don't think I'm that fussy regarding looks, it's just that a lot of them aren't what I would consider attractive. I've fancied and previously gone out with what most would deem "average" looking but there was chemistry.

Of course, it could be that I put on weight in 5th year, but I lost it in the last month or 2.

Jane1012

My debs is 10 years ago now. I went to three, my boyfriends at the time, mine and my friends (who I also brought to mine) and lots of my friends didn’t have dates so I set them up with some of my guy friends. It ended up being great cause 6 of my friends who were guys went to my debs with my friends so it was just a great night out with friends. It doesn’t have to be romantic. If you don’t have guy friends then chat with one your friends who does, also it’s only February, isn’t the debs usually around August, that’s a long time things can change! Do not be worrying about looks as hard as it may be.
Don’t stress over it, honestly you would probably have a better night with friends!

wiggle16

Hi OP

You do come off as a bit concerned about looks: don't be, neither yours nor other people's. If you fancy someone, you fancy someone - how *conventionally* good looking they are shouldn't matter. I'm not being smart, but is it that you are concerned with getting a date, or with getting a good-looking date? The reason I say that is because:

Quokka99 wrote: »

it's just that a lot of them aren't what I would consider attractive. I've fancied and previously gone out with what most would deem "average" looking but there was chemistry.

Don't be worrying about what other people think of your date, they're not the ones going with him. If you want to go to your debs with someone you like, all that matters is that you like them. No one is going to remember who went with who in a few years, trust me!

You can't say that none of the lads in your school fancy you, you don't know that, and it's unlikely to be the case. You have plenty of time for someone to ask you, it's only Feb. Plus, there's nothing wrong with taking the plunge and asking a lad yourself.

If you're not comfortable asking lads out yourself, what about bringing a friend? I didn't have anyone I wanted to ask, so I brought my mate from another school to my debs - we had a better time than most people there to be honest!

wiggle16

Jane1012 wrote: »

Don’t stress over it, honestly you would probably have a better night with friends!

^^^^^^^^^ this, honestly this is true!

Wrongway1985

Quokka99 wrote: »

Thank you. Yeah, sorry that came off pretty harsh, I sound like I'm really objectifying them. I don't think I'm that fussy regarding looks, it's just that a lot of them aren't what I would consider attractive. I've fancied and previously gone out with what most would deem "average" looking but there was chemistry.

Of course, it could be that I put on weight in 5th year, but I lost it in the last month or 2.

In general it shouldn't matter that you don't find them attractive as that often tends to eliminate the possibility of having regular friendships with fellas and probably the reason male friends are non existent, as someone suggested surely a friend has a suitable candidate, debs are generally about a bash with your mates opposed to who you bring.

Fella FFIW tis some while now but got asked to debs by someone I didn't fancy who was friend of a friend, I was delighted to be asked tbh hadn't been asked by anyone prior so was happy to oblige why not!!

baby and crumble

Honestly, OP, just go by yourself. Every single one of my friends who wasn't actually in a relationship that brought a randomer to our Debs regretted it. Grand if you're actually going out but otherwise you have a person who knows nobody that you have to mind all night when you could otherwise be having a great time with your friends at the last big school event until the reunions start in 10 years time.

I went by myself (granted I am gay and didn't want the stress of either a) asking a girl out in the 90's in rural Ireland because homophobia or b) having to find some poor unfortunate guy who I would never fancy ever to come with me) and I had a grand night. I've had a million better ones since though, the Debs isa bit overrated in the grand scheme of things but I know it doesn't feel like that in the run up to it.

Neyite

Mod:

AllForIt, your comment was deleted as it contained no actual advice for the OP and is not in the spirit of the forum.

Daisy78

I went on my own to my Debs. I was quite and very shy in school which didn't give me many opportunities to meet guys. Coupled with the fact that I went to an all girls school meant that I ended up going on my own. Now granted, there was only one other girl there on her own and perhaps some people thought it was strange but I think I was happier doing it that way to be honest, less pressure at the end of the day. Also you seem to be looking for a certain type of date rather than someone you could relax with and enjoy the occasion. Its only the Debs, you are not looking for someone to propose! If someone suitable doesn't come along then just go by yourself, you might have more fun than some of the other people there.

Rebecca Gilligan

baby and crumble wrote: »

Honestly, OP, just go by yourself. Every single one of my friends who wasn't actually in a relationship that brought a randomer to our Debs regretted it. Grand if you're actually going out but otherwise you have a person who knows nobody that you have to mind all night when you could otherwise be having a great time with your friends at the last big school event until the reunions start in 10 years time.

I went by myself (granted I am gay and didn't want the stress of either a) asking a girl out in the 90's in rural Ireland because homophobia or b) having to find some poor unfortunate guy who I would never fancy ever to come with me) and I had a grand night. I've had a million better ones since though, the Debs isa bit overrated in the grand scheme of things but I know it doesn't feel like that in the run up to it.

This is honestly great advice. Just go by yourself and focus on having a great night with your friends. It's less pressure because you're not looking after someone and you'll be happy about it afterwards.