New diagnosis of 3 yr old son

73trix

I've posted the other day in the the thread my "query ASD" son so I won't repeat myself.

Just wondering if anyone can recommend a good book to give a good understanding and/or that can help us (if possible) help him with his poor social skills/ social anxiety. I try to encourage eye contact, get down to his level when talking to him, trying to reassure when fretting etc. He only seems happy to go places if it is explicitly clear that he comes back home after. This is a very new thing. 2 months ago, we could take him anywhere. Xmas was the first time he fretted to go home (from relatives) whereas before he was so easy Now I find we've suddenly jumped into a mantra in the car about what exactly the plan is - where we are going , then what and when going home.

It's nearly as tho, as soon as the ADOS was complete, when I still had some faith it might not be ASD, that he has started to display more anxiety-type "traits" so now I'm anxious myself that we are only scraping the surface as he is getting older, more aware, has more language to express himself. I have been told that anxiety and ASD go hand in hand and my little lad is definitely more fretful recently.

73trix

Just bumping for myself. Any good books for a parent of 3 yr old recently diagnosed? Also wondering if doing an online course would be good but it would need to be a gois one. Any experience would be welcome.

farmerwifelet

have you been referred to a service provider for therapy? Enable Ireland were ours, they usually do parenting classes which are very helpful. I know it is a tough time when you first get a diagnosis and part of you hopes it was just a mistake. My one big tip is don't push him past his comfort point. If he wants to go early from family gatherings then go! If he is getting stressed out and about take him home to his comfort zone. Don't worry that he won't ever do things or go anywhere. The more he trusts that you will look after his needs the more he will be comfortable to try new things. Give him and your self time to adjust! He is also at a point where he can now tell you if he needs to go - listen to him. My one regret is pushing my son in situations to please others when I should have taken him home. We thought our little man was grand at things but looking back he couldn't voice his concerns and they came out later as outbursts.

73trix

farmerwifelet wrote: »

have you been referred to a service provider for therapy? Enable Ireland were ours, they usually do parenting classes which are very helpful. I know it is a tough time when you first get a diagnosis and part of you hopes it was just a mistake. My one big tip is don't push him past his comfort point. If he wants to go early from family gatherings then go! If he is getting stressed out and about take him home to his comfort zone. Don't worry that he won't ever do things or go anywhere. The more he trusts that you will look after his needs the more he will be comfortable to try new things. Give him and your self time to adjust! He is also at a point where he can now tell you if he needs to go - listen to him. My one regret is pushing my son in situations to please others when I should have taken him home. We thought our little man was grand at things but looking back he couldn't voice his concerns and they came out later as outbursts.

He attends local EIT but the support is minimal. There used to be parents workshops but they've not happened for 2yrs due to resources. Word on the ground us really that bar a bit of therapy here and there, we're on our own. Psychology is non existent. Hence wondering about getting training myself. Thanks for the good tip tho. We've left things early many times, have learned to do a lot of fore warning with our son about what's the plan etc. He needs to know always.