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Father worried about his son

  • 22-02-2018 2:02pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    As the title says - my father is worried about his mid 20s son (my brother). Myself and my oldest brother are now worrying due to his worries.

    He had a severely bad accident resulting in a head injury a few years ago but made a near full recovery. It affected his school work and subsequently he dropped out of/failed college on two occasions - whether that was to do with his injury or laziness we're not sure.

    He now sits at home doing f'all, has no drive to work, has nothing to do all day but sleep, game consoles and YouTube... Doesn't clean his bedroom, etc...

    They don't know how to push him as they're afraid he may be suffering mentally as a result of the accident but he won't go to talk to anyone, etc...

    Financially he is funded by my father which probably doesn't help him. He can't claim SW, etc...

    Any suggestions or ideas would be greatly appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    .......
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


    This post has been deleted.


  • #3
    WIZWEB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 523 ✭✭✭WIZWEB


    OP the head injury can create an almost new personality in someone. Depending on the seriousness there may still be residual emotional, psychological and intellectual impairment. Is there any professional diagnosis that could explain his behaviour. There are a range of various services out there that can help him if desired. He might qualify for disability, Hap etc which could motivate him moving out. Though he may be very vulnerable. I don't want to demonise him as he's been through a massive trauma and isn't being aggressive either. Your brother can only be made aware of supports and encouraged in uptake. A carrot moving to stick approach is recommended. Ultimately though it's still his choice as an adult to engage or not.

    Unfortunately you all appear to be enabling him by walking on eggshells to accommodate his needs. If he's playing online games and doing well at them then his cognition is good so he will have an understanding. As pointed out your father needs to stop funding his lazy lifestyle. This new boundary will most probably create a temporary drama which just needs to be just accepted. Your brother will possibly make various threats and pull emotional strings until your father gives in through guilt and other manipulations. Basically your father needs to stand firm with you and other family members fully supporting him.


  • #4
    December2012
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    Has he seen a neurologist? Or a psychiatrist?


  • #5
    Wesser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,813 ✭✭✭Wesser


    Why not contact headway.ie?


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