Want to travel but family business gets in the way

crossy

Hi folks.
I have a bit of a problem with travel and work at the moment. Maybe someone else had a similar situation and found a way to do both?
Basically my parents own and run a fairly successful business. I am 27 and have been working in it the past 4 years. As I get older they give me more responsibility and want me to put more into the company.
I also have a girlfriend and we would like to travel together a bit. She originally wanted to go away for a year but I can't do that. I went away last year for 3 months to work in another division of our company and it was a pain to sort . I work in a specialist position so it's not like anyone can just fill in my irish role.
I suggested to the girlfriend that we take one month off per year in the quiet period and head away to travel every year. She doesn't think that will give her the feeling of travel and thinks a year solid has to be done.

Has anyone else tried a month a year kinda thing? Am I being a pain?
Should I quit the family business for the sake of one long holiday?
Cheers thanks

Balmed Out

I did the month a year and thought it better to be honest. Id often be in South America or somewhere and those off for a year didnt have the funds to take advantage of where they were so much. If work doesnt mind you taking all your annual leave together it can work well.

CelticRambler

crossy wrote: »

I suggested to the girlfriend that we take one month off per year in the quiet period and head away to travel every year. She doesn't think that will give her the feeling of travel and thinks a year solid has to be done.

Has anyone else tried a month a year kinda thing? Am I being a pain?
Should I quit the family business for the sake of one long holiday?

I think you need to get your girlfriend to be more specific about what the "feeling of travel" is? It sounds like she just wants to get away from whatever or whereever she is at the moment. That's what the rest of us call a sabbatical!

When I had my own business - and a young family - I took three two-week breaks a year, sticking to Europe for practical purposes. We had all the "feeling of travel" that I've ever experienced on other longer or further-away trips - strange language, strange food, strange encounters, new experiences, being helped by natives, being helpful to natives, being stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time, being in the right place at the right time ...

A couple of decades later, I'm working as an intermittently employed contractor, so I can have as much travel time as I want, but anything over three months starts to get tedious. Then again, maybe it's my age!

I think your approach is more sensible - one month a year (maybe a five-week month, to allow for the "wasted" time of the journey, if you don't make that part of the experience, e.g. trans-Siberian train journey). That gives both of you time to plan properly for the area that you want to visit, time your visit to get the best out the destination country, and ensure that you keep contact with your circle of family and friends at home at a time when you've probably got a lot of "births, deaths and marriages" coming up ...

finbarrk

Nothing wrong with a month per year. She is being unreasonable.

Mrs OBumble

2-4 weeks at a time is simply being a tourist, not giving the experience of living independently in another country. Not nearly the same thing IMHO.

Talk to your parents about you taking a career break while they're still young enough to be able to run it without you.

Frankly if the business is dependent on one specialist, then I'd question how viable it is: what happens if you get the flu (the real sort) and cannot work for three weeks at short notice.

grimm2005

I don't think either of you are being unreasonable to be honest. I can totally understand why she'd want to do some long term traveling rather than a month a year but I can also see your predicament of not being able to just drop everything and leave.

I've always had the same desire to drop everything and disappear and explore the world for a year or just live and work in a different country but just haven't given myself the time and I make up for it currently by always having trips planned, usually 3/4 days somewhere in Europe every month or so but I want to go further afield and only have so much annual leave!

It sounds like this is something she really wants (possibly needs) to do and if it's just impossible for you to do drop everything and travel for a year, perhaps she could go it alone and you could meet up with her for a week every couple of months? It may test your relationship but if she ends up not doing it because of your work commitments she may end up resenting the fact she never got to properly travel.

CelticRambler

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

2-4 weeks at a time is simply being a tourist, not giving the experience of living independently in another country. Not nearly the same thing IMHO.

grimm2005 wrote: »

I've always had the same desire to drop everything and disappear and explore the world for a year or just live and work in a different country

These two sentiments are why I said that the OP needs his girlfriend to explain what she means by the "feeling of travel". I'd say about 99% of people who list "travel" as one of their interests on their CV or dating profile mean "being a tourist"; whereas people who want to live and work in a different country talk about taking a sabbatical/career break/emigrating.

I've also met some people who talk about "wanting to travel" (and/or doing it) as a euphemism for just detaching from reality until it eventually smacks them in the face some time in the future.

This distinction is important, because, as grimm2005 points out, until the OP understands the root of his girlfriend's desire to not stay at home, it's likely to niggle away at the relationship in one way or another.