Seating arrangements

Recliner

Just arising from a conversation recently: couple getting married, grooms parents divorced,dad remarried, mum not in a relationship. All fairly amicable. Regarding church and reception, is there a standard/protocol whatever as to where people sit or with whom.
My thinking was go with whatever the bride and groom want. Curious as to what people think. My over riding feeling at the end of the conversation was that weddings bring out the worst in people even when it doesn't actually have anything to do with them.

Uriel.

Don't think there's necessarily a standard or a protocol, but what I've seen in similar situations is the parents sit together in the church "as parents" rather than partners. Same at the dinner or a mix and match. One half of the grooms parents with one have of the brides on one side and vice versa. Totally depends on circumstances though

jellybear

Recliner wrote: »

My over riding feeling at the end of the conversation was that weddings bring out the worst in people even when it doesn't actually have anything to do with them.

Oh how true that last sentence is!!

My personal opinion/feeling would be that at the end of the day they are all adults and you would hope that for the sake of one day they can be amicable.

I would be of the opinion that the bride and groom should do up their seating plan to suit their guests, venue etc and that should be that. At the end of the day the meal is only part of the day. If all were comfortable I would see no issues with the dad's new partner sitting with them or not. It's all down to personal circumstances and situations.

miezekatze

When my brother married his wife, her dad sat on our side and her mother and new husband etc sat on her side. Her parents aren't on speaking terms though so this was the least awkward solution. I think in a situation like that you should just do whatever works best.

splinter65

My best friend is married to a man very bitterly divorced from his first wife.
When his daughter was getting married (my friend and he have no children together) my friend solved the problem of seating her by simply refusing to go to the wedding.
She had no hand act or part in the raising of that girl do she just stayed away.

Recliner

splinter65 wrote: »

My best friend is married to a man very bitterly divorced from his first wife.
When his daughter was getting married (my friend and he have no children together) my friend solved the problem of seating her by simply refusing to go to the wedding.
She had no hand act or part in the raising of that girl do she just stayed away.

God that sounds a bit drastic. Most people going to a wedding have no hand, act or part in raising the bride or groom. Unless she didn't get on at all with the bride maybe and she didn't want her there? In that case fair enough, but to refuse to go, I don't know. To me that sounds as if she was invited, so I'm assuming it was the ex causing ructions. If not then it seems like making it an issue when there may not be one.
Seems a shame though if she has been a part of someones life not to be there on such an important day.

splinter65

Recliner wrote: »

God that sounds a bit drastic. Most people going to a wedding have no hand, act or part in raising the bride or groom. Unless she didn't get on at all with the bride maybe and she didn't want her there? In that case fair enough, but to refuse to go, I don't know. To me that sounds as if she was invited, so I'm assuming it was the ex causing ructions. If not then it seems like making it an issue when there may not be one.
Seems a shame though if she has been a part of someones life not to be there on such an important day.

The first wife was threatening not to go (despite them having divorced before my friend met the father of the bride) so it was an instant and absolutely correct reaction to that.
The mother of the bride must be accommodated.
The father of the bride was upset and disappointed not to have his OH there and the bride did try to reason with her mother but apparently she (mother of the bride) was not going to spend the day “avoiding your fathers Irish tart”.

Recliner

splinter65 wrote: »

Recliner wrote: »

God that sounds a bit drastic. Most people going to a wedding have no hand, act or part in raising the bride or groom. Unless she didn't get on at all with the bride maybe and she didn't want her there? In that case fair enough, but to refuse to go, I don't know. To me that sounds as if she was invited, so I'm assuming it was the ex causing ructions. If not then it seems like making it an issue when there may not be one.
Seems a shame though if she has been a part of someones life not to be there on such an important day.

The first wife  was threatening not to go (despite them having divorced before my friend met the father of the bride) so it was an instant and absolutely correct  reaction to that.
The mother of the bride must be accommodated.
The father of the bride was upset and disappointed not to have his OH there and the bride did try to reason with her mother but apparently she (mother of the bride) was not going to spend the day “avoiding your fathers Irish tart”.

I think that's so sad. There will presumably be other family occasions that your friend will be excluded from, and whether or not she is related to them by blood, she still is part of the family.

splinter65

Recliner wrote: »

I think that's so sad. There will presumably be other family occasions that your friend will be excluded from, and whether or not she is related to them by blood, she still is part of the family.

Actually the first wife has since died, the poor woman, and my friend didn’t let the whole thing bother her at all anyway.
There are grandchildren of course now and her advice to anyone marrying a person with grown up children is to smile, bite your tongue and let things whoosh! over your head.

MiliMe

If all is amicacable between the parents and there are no issues with any other family members, would you consider seating the parents the head table and the new partner with close family.
Other members of the Bridal party dont have their partners with them. Unless the bride is very close to the new partner...

Recliner

MiliMe wrote: »

If all is amicacable between the parents and there are no issues with any other family members, would you consider seating the parents the head table and the new partner with close family.
Other members of the Bridal party dont have their partners with them. Unless the bride is very close to the new partner...

If it was me I'd be inclined to go with whatever the b&g wanted but it just surprised me during the conversation how people felt very strongly that the 2nd wife should be seated with her husband. I suppose as the years go on this will be a more common occurance but this current generation getting married are the first to have this situation if you know what I mean.