Problems with Housemate

Dick phelan

So here's the story, i'm currently living with 3 other people, got along fine with them all, not close but no issues. Until last night, so at about 3am i heard my housemate come home with a girl, no issues there except about a half hour later i hear her clearly saying "no stop" hear my housemate get pretty angry and then the door opening. Can hear her in the bathroom so when she came out i went over and asked her if she was alright, straight away i can tell she's very drunk also looked kinda upsetI offered to call her a taxi then next thing my housemate comes out of his room to see whats going on. 

I calmly told him maybe it would be best if the girl gets a taxi and they call it a night. He started getting pissed with me, telling me to fcuk off, none of my business ect. Anyway to cut a long story short girl said's she wants to go home housemate not happy. Now today he confronted me, called me a nosy prick again nothing to do with me.  Anyway frankly i don't care if he hates me, was never close anyway, but the thing now is neither of the other two housemates know this happened, they were both away last night so just me and him in the flat. Should i say anything to my other housemates? I don't think so but was i being too nosy. Whole situation just seemed out of line to me or was i overreacting?

justfillmein

no you didn't overreact and you weren't being nosey either.
you heard what you thought was someone who might have needed some help. the girl clearly wanted to go, so fair play to you for getting up and helping her.

don't mind being called a nosey prick.
water off a ducks back.

I wouldn't bother saying anything to the others I don't think

nikkibikki

Not an over reaction, you did exactly the right thing. Anything less would've been an under reaction. He's clearly a d!ck. His friendship or whatever is no loss. If any of your other housemates are female, I'd def tell them. Someone who thinks it's ok to treat someone like this is someone they should be warned about, I'd probably tell them anyway regardless of their gender.
I'm sure you can think of a few choice names to call him every time he calls you a nosey pr!ck.

Dick phelan

nikkibikki wrote: »

Not an over reaction, you did exactly the right thing. Anything less would've been an under reaction. He's clearly a d!ck. His friendship or whatever is no loss. If any of your other housemates are female, I'd def tell them. Someone who thinks it's ok to treat someone like this is someone they should be warned about, I'd probably tell them anyway regardless of their gender.
I'm sure you can think of a few choice names to call him every time he calls you a nosey pr!ck.

See that's kinda what i thought, both other housemates are female so i don't know should i mention it. One one hand i'm not close to either of them and they aren't with him. If i mention it, then it might cause problems and make them feel uncomfortable in the house.

harr

Dick phelan wrote: »

See that's kinda what i thought, both other housemates are female so i don't know should i mention it. One one hand i'm not close to either of them and they aren't with him. If i mention it, then it might cause problems and make them feel uncomfortable in the house.

I think you should mention it and let them be cautious around him.
What’s stopping him taking advantage of your housemates if they ever come home drunk.
If anything was to happen you would feel terrible.
Better to be safe than sorry.

Contessa Raven

I don't have much to add but I just wanted to commend you for stepping in and helping that girl out. Many people would turn a blind eye and think "not my business" but often that is what allows some awful things to happen.
Fair play to you.

tickingclock

Contessa Raven wrote: »

I don't have much to add but I just wanted to commend you for stepping in and helping that girl out. Many people would turn a blind eye and think "not my business" but often that is what allows some awful things to happen.
Fair play to you.

Completely agree with this. Fair play. I would tell the housemates in case it happens when you aren't around but they are.

leggo

Yeah if I was you I’d be saying it to the other two housemates, even if they were male. In that case you’ve even got to think if they brought girls back themselves or had a sister/female friend over and possibly around this guy. Considering it’s female housemates, they may even want to lock their room when they sleep now for peace of mind, and it’d be their decision to make or on your head be it if, god forbid, something else happened. The fact that he refused to back down or even ignore it once he sobered up is especially worrying. Fair play OP.

I Am_Not_Ice

Your housemate sounds fairly odious tbh. I'd definitely tell the other two girls, just to be on the safe side. And don't worry about him calling you names; after what happened I wouldn't give a flying feck about what someone like that thought of me.

woodchuck

You did the right thing OP.

However I'm not sure about telling your other housemates (and I'm saying this as a woman). You don't actually know what happened and you could start a rumour that'll follow this guy around for life. I'm not saying he sounds like a prized catch, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions that he's a danger to your other housemates.

Rubberchikken

You did the proper thing op.
We're reading about rape trials, people saying no and being listened to etc so your housemate may have been saved from a lifetime of recrimination by you stepping in.
He didnt seem to have the decency to respect this girl's 'no' so a good job you have sense.

blairbear

Rubberchikken wrote: »

You did the proper thing op.
We're reading about rape trials, people saying no and being listened to etc so your housemate may have been saved from a lifetime of recrimination by you stepping in.
He didnt seem to have the decency to respect this girl's 'no' so a good job you have sense.

I would be more happy that the girl may have been saved from a lifetime of trauma and psychological distress.

OP, I'm really glad you stepped in. You're a good guy. I would tell your housemates exactly what happened. All you can tell them is the truth. I wouldn't be quick to protect this guy in any way.

PCeeeee

You did not over react.

Augme

At the end of the day OP the guy seemed to stop what he was doing. While getting pissed off isn't classy at all and he sounds like a dick I'd be careful of getting into rumour spreading in the household.

blairbear

Augme wrote: »

At the end of the day OP the guy seemed to stop what he was doing. While getting pissed off isn't classy at all and he sounds like a dick I'd be careful of getting into rumour spreading in the household.

It isn't rumour spreading if he tells them exactly what he saw and heard with no embellishment. That isn't a rumour. I don't think the housemate deserves plaudits for eventually stopping what he was doing after the girl had to ask him to stop and he reacted with anger.

helimachoptor

the fact that even the next day he thinks your a dick from getting involved is pretty ****ing worrying.

Fair play OP

December2012

IF the hostility continues you’re housemates may ask what’s gone on. Then you can tell them with a clear conscience

Joeseph Balls

helimachoptor wrote: »

the fact that even the next day he thinks your a dick from getting involved is pretty ****ing worrying.

Fair play OP

That's only cos he knows he was as sleezebag and is panicking.

wiggle16

Fair play OP, defo did the right thing. That girl was lucky you were there.

I'm not sure I'd say anything to your housemates - if you're not close to them I wouldn't bother.

It's unlikely he will say anything to them, especially if you heard what you think you heard. If he does start causing trouble for you, then I'd be inclined to tell them so that they are aware of why.

The other reason I wouldn't say anything is because you cannot be sure what exactly happened in the room - I agree it's likely this creep was up to what it sounded like. But because you can't be sure, there could be an innocuous explanation (and you will never know either way), so I wouldn't go telling them. She could have been telling him to stop cross-dressing.

Unless you knew for sure what happened, it would not be right for you to tell them. Telling people that he may have potentially tried to rape someone is a hell of a thing to level at someone if you don't really know what happened in the room.

I'd avoid this creep as much as possible, and keep it to myself unless he starts making trouble for you.

Neyite

Mod:

Just a little reminder that advocating violence is not permitted on this forum. Beefburrito, please don't suggest that again.

Dick phelan

Sorry Mods if this is restarting an old thread but just wanted to update and say, said Housemate has moved out today. Can't say i'll miss him.