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Friends with Benefits

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  • 16-02-2018 3:16am
    #1
    Curious Scot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 61 ✭✭


    What are your opinions on a Friends with Benefits situation?
    I'm posting this because I was asked by someone who I see occasionally if I would consider a FWB 'relationship'. I never even considered this, I know nothing about this and I don't know of anybody in such a situation. I'm trying to get the general opinion/feel of people who have or have had a FWB and from others.


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    #2
    JenovaProject
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,299 ✭✭✭JenovaProject


    Great job if your friend is married and no chance of falling in love.
    Getting attached to your friend with benefits is the biggest problem.
    Once the ground rules are layed out at the start it's a great arrangement.


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    #3
    Dank Janniels
    Registered Users Posts: 645 ✭✭✭Dank Janniels


    Friends on the dole you mean???


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    #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I have been in a Friends with Benefits situation that lasted a number of years. I know in theory it sounds great but If I could go back, i would never have got involved. We both knew what it was, it was never a case one wanted more but it affected new relationships for me. I never told new partners but did have a negative effect. I wouldn't recommend it. That's my own experience.


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    #5
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,869 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Mod Note

    Curios Scot, Personal Issues is an advice forum rather than a general discussion forum. Posters post here with specific problems that they are looking for advice on. I will lock your thread for the moment as it is unclear from your post if this is a Personal Issue for you or you're just looking for general opinions. If you would like it reopened, and would like to expand on your OP and the personal issue aspect of it for you, then contact any of the PI Moderators.


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    #6
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,869 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Thread reopened. Please add a little detail to the first post, OP.

    Thanks,
    BBoC


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    #7
    Katgurl
    Registered Users Posts: 2,143 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    Op when you say 'see occasionally' what do you mean? Are you dating / sleeeping together / friends?

    Is this a person you could potentially want a proper romantic relationship with? If yes, then definitely do not consider agreeing to a FWB arrangement as you will end up hurt.


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    #8
    Augme
    Registered Users Posts: 5,391 ✭✭✭Augme


    Everyone will have their own opinion on them. I have no problem with them. However I generally find you need to have the right personality for them. If you are independent and wouldn't be of the jealous type then they are easy. Where you are in your life will also play a big part. e.g. If you want a serious relationship then they probablyaren't a good idea, but if recently single they can be good help in getting over an ex etc.


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    #9
    Curious Scot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 61 ✭✭Curious Scot


    JenovaProject wrote: »
    Great job if your friend is married and no chance of falling in love.
    Getting attached to your friend with benefits is the biggest problem.
    Once the ground rules are layed out at the start it's a great arrangement.

    JenovaProject, I would be thinking along those lines also. I am married and I definitely don't want to become emotionally involved with anybody again.


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    #10
    Curious Scot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 61 ✭✭Curious Scot


    Katgurl wrote: »
    Op when you say 'see occasionally' what do you mean? Are you dating / sleeeping together / friends?

    Is this a person you could potentially want a proper romantic relationship with? If yes, then definitely do not consider agreeing to a FWB arrangement as you will end up hurt.

    We are friends and confidantes and we have known each other for years. There isn’t and never was any romantic or physical attraction between us. We meet occasionally for a coffee and a chat. We are both married but there has been no intimacy in my life for some time.
    It was when I told this friend about my situation that she suggested I consider a FWB relationship. This is what prompted me to start this thread.


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    #11
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    Curious Scot wrote: »
    We are friends and confidantes and we have known each other for years. There isn’t and never was any romantic or physical attraction between us. We meet occasionally for a coffee and a chat. We are both married but there has been no intimacy in my life for some time.
    It was when I told this friend about my situation that she suggested I consider a FWB relationship. This is what prompted me to start this thread.
    That's not friends with benefits, that's cheating and will cause a whole host of problems for you. Don't do it.


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    #12
    Koala Sunshine
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 125 ✭✭Koala Sunshine


    Curious Scot wrote: »
    We are friends and confidantes and we have known each other for years. There isn’t and never was any romantic or physical attraction between us. We meet occasionally for a coffee and a chat. We are both married but there has been no intimacy in my life for some time.
    It was when I told this friend about my situation that she suggested I consider a FWB relationship. This is what prompted me to start this thread.

    Why is there no intimacy in your life?


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    #13
    December2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    You don’t fix one problem by creating a second.

    If your marriage isn’t working, can you end it, or fix it?


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    #14
    otnomart
    Registered Users Posts: 4,065 ✭✭✭otnomart


    Curious Scot wrote: »
    There isn’t and never was any romantic or physical attraction between us.
    If there is no physical attraction, what do you want to get out of it ?
    If you feel you need someone else, end your marriage and then try to find someone you do feel physical attraction for.


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    #15
    Up Donegal
    Registered Users Posts: 1,236 ✭✭✭Up Donegal


    I know of married people who are in fwb situations with married and single people who are in fwb situations with other singles. I say go for it. Like another poster replied, set the rules and keep to them. As long as you and your friend are aware of and are prepared to accept the consequences if your other half finds out.


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