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Fifty Shades Freed.

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  • 12-02-2018 4:42pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 6,431 ✭✭✭




    I went to see this today, and.... I don't get these films.

    I'm not against the idea of a soft-core porn film masquerading as a romantic esque thing, or that the BDSM they portray is soft as ice cream. I'm not against the idea of having one aimed for women, straight men get plenty to indulge them in the cinema after all.

    But all three of the fifty shades films have been so boring, and dry and lame, I can't imagine who these people that find them arousing, not even a little bit. The sex is so tame, unsexy, doesn't go anywhere far enough, the BDSM always seems to be sidelined to make space for more boring stuff about their relationship or how 'damaged' Christian Grey apparently is. It never even goes full nudity, with tasteful edits away from anything that could be close to being considered racy.

    There's no good story either, so there's not much to follow there, apparently the books make more sense than the film in terms of the plot, but what we get on the screen makes no sense, struggles to have any tone at all, let alone a consistent one, and the only thing it seems to have is a portrayal of rich people doing rich people things? Rich porn, is that a thing?


    So these films, huge missed opportunity. This one sucks too.


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,730 ✭✭✭abff


    As far as I can tell, the books are also dreadful - badly written, poorly plotted and having absolutely no artistic or literary merit whatsoever.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,518 ✭✭✭blue note


    I saw the first one out of curiosity when it was on tv. It wasn't as terrible as I expected it to be. As you say, it was more boring than absolutely stinking.

    But by all accounts this wasn't a missed opportunity at all. The source material is supposed to be awful, so it was just an opportunity to make loads of money which they did.

    I did watch the film though and think of how good secretary was. But that wasn't what fifty shades fans wanted at all, so I don't think they really missed a beat or anything.

    Also, I judge myself for watching one of these without having to. 3 films op? After watching two of these the next thing you should have looked at is a mirror. And your look needed to be long and hard (something that was missing from the films).


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,506 ✭✭✭micks_address


    blue note wrote: »
    I saw the first one out of curiosity when it was on tv. It wasn't as terrible as I expected it to be. As you say, it was more boring than absolutely stinking.

    But by all accounts this wasn't a missed opportunity at all. The source material is supposed to be awful, so it was just an opportunity to make loads of money which they did.

    I did watch the film though and think of how good secretary was. But that wasn't what fifty shades fans wanted at all, so I don't think they really missed a beat or anything.

    Also, I judge myself for watching one of these without having to. 3 films op? After watching two of these the next thing you should have looked at is a mirror. And your look needed to be long and hard (something that was missing from the films).

    The first one I actually enjoyed... I think the argument with the director of the first and get dropping off the second two doomed any chance of them being decent.. The second one was a complete borefest.. Haven't seen the third


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,431 ✭✭✭MilesMorales1


    The oppourtunitu was there to improve the source material though!


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 34,544 CMod ✭✭✭✭CiDeRmAn


    I'm likely getting dragged to this, and despite my protests that they are awful films of awful books my spouse insists I am being narrow minded and unfairly biased.
    Damn,
    I'm doomed.
    On a brighter note, can't be any worse that Status Update which I watched yesterday...


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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,730 ✭✭✭abff


    The oppourtunitu was there to improve the source material though!

    The words "silk purse" and "sow's ear" come to mind.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,431 ✭✭✭MilesMorales1


    CiDeRmAn wrote: »
    I'm likely getting dragged to this, and despite my protests that they are awful films of awful books my spouse insists I am being narrow minded and unfairly biased.
    Damn,
    I'm doomed.
    On a brighter note, can't be any worse that Status Update which I watched yesterday...

    Hey I watched that too! This is actually worse.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,881 ✭✭✭Peatys


    Switched off after the first few mins of the first one on a dodgy box. Didn't cost a penny, and still felt ripped off its so bad.

    Fair play to anyone sitting through all three.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,299 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    I wouldn't touch it, or the other two films for that matter, with a barge pole.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,378 ✭✭✭BuilderPlumber


    These 3 films are among the worst ever made imo. I can't see why they have become so popular with some. Most will note they are not shocking but rather boring with no good story. The Irish media like Tubridy like to overhype them. I remember he gave a whole part of his show pushing the first one in 2015, a year when there was a new Star Wars, Mad Max and James Bond film to name some much much better franchises.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 85,623 ✭✭✭✭JP Liz V1


    The leads have the worse chemistry ever in a film


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,384 ✭✭✭dublinman1990


    branie2 wrote: »
    I wouldn't touch it, or the other two films for that matter, with a barge pole.
    These 3 films are among the worst ever made imo. I can't see why they have become so popular with some. Most will note they are not shocking but rather boring with no good story. The Irish media like Tubridy like to overhype them. I remember he gave a whole part of his show pushing the first one in 2015, a year when there was a new Star Wars, Mad Max and James Bond film to name some much much better franchises.

    I would have to agree with you here. The amount of publicity that these movies or books get on the Irish print, radio or on the TV media sector is sickening. The huge amount of exposure this got on RTÉ in particular sent it's cringe factor up to a million; it nearly turned my stomach.

    Fifty shades of Grey. Heh heh! More like fifty shades of shyte in my opinion. I certainly won't be watching them.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,506 ✭✭✭micks_address


    I would have to agree with you here. The amount of publicity that these movies or books get on the Irish print, radio or on the TV media sector is sickening. The huge amount of exposure this got on RTÉ in particular sent it's cringe factor up to a million; it nearly turned my stomach.

    Fifty shades of Grey. Heh heh! More like fifty shades of shyte in my opinion. I certainly won't be watching them.

    How do you know its ****e if you haven't watched?

    I'm not a fan of them. Watched the first and actually thought it was pretty interesting and well directed.. The second was pretty poor and haven't seen the third. The fallout with the director after the first doomed the quality


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